Articles paranromal-activity

Published on October 16th, 2011 | by John

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Tease Me, Baby! – Paranormal Activity 3

I still record stuff on VHS tape. Yes, I still have a VCR player. It’s in good condition, and still even has the colour coded stickers I placed beside several buttons, when I left instructions on how to record Dawson’s Creek while I ventured to America – eleven years ago. I’m fond of those stickers. Now, I can kind of guess what you’re thinking. Yep. Dawson’s Creek. Hey, don’t knock it! It was wonderfully written. The show had charm, and the theme was, well, see for yourself!

After having so much fun reveiwing The Thing, I’m attempting it again, this time with found VHS footage from the 80s. No, it’s not a review of Road Kill: Caught on Tape, but the next installment of the now-seasonal Halloween franchise, Paranormal Activity.

Paraspoilers ahead!

Behold, the trailer for the second sequel which is also a prequel of an original movie which was filmed in the director’s own house!

 

– ‘Katie, Kristi, say hi to the camera.’

Oh, and Katie, see your sister – she’s going to marry a guy who’ll try to save his wife by passing over the demon onto you. You’ll kill your partner, then your sister’s husband, then your sister. And steal their baby. That’s right, YOU’RE A BABY STEALER!

– I want my baby back, baby back.

Ribs.

This just popped into my head.

… Sorry.


– ‘Do the knock again.’

In the 90s I once tried to start a new dance craze called, the Knock. It unfortunately came to nothing – and got me barred from several establishments. But at this point in the trailer, I’m already getting that freaked out feeling. I’m a wuss. (What did you expect from a fan of Dawson’s Creek.) She’s knocking on the mirror… and something is replying!

 

– ‘Oh my god’

Aerobatics on show. Nice balance. Fine technique. Good jump.  An 8.5, easy. Kind of freaky, too.

 

– ‘Have the protocol droid’s mind wiped.’

‘He’s my friend, insists Kristi.

In PA1, it’s noted that something happened to the sisters when younger. In PA2, Katie mentions how she remembers Kristi crying all the time, and Kristi says she hardly recalls anything at all. Just how traumatic must the events in this film be to wipe their memories?

 

– ‘He’s standing right next to you.’

Difficult to capture this sequence in images. In an effort to prove a point, Kristi hurls a glass of water which collides with something standing next to them. The stool then goes one way, the bed moves and objects go flying.

Sod that!

 

– That drawing is rubbish!

Look at it! It’s naff!

 

– Head banging against the table.

Which, coincidentally, steals a page from my aforementioned failed dance craze. This guy starts being attacked by the demon. Looks like this installment is throwing away all subtleness and just going for it now.

 

– ‘Did you hear that? It’s ok.’

Um, no it bloody isn’t. There’s a malevolent demon out to get us… and it’ll continue for two more films!

 

– ‘Just get in the car and drive.’

Dammit, dad, mum’s doing her Frankenstein routine again!

No, it’s not some ill-timed humour by their mother, but the unfortunate parent being yanked off her feet. It’s grainy, blurry, and VHS-y. I liiike it!

 

– To sum up.

I’m game. Expect more of the same from this installment, which isn’t a negative comment. You know what you’re getting. Some shocks, some jiggly camera work, and Oren Peli, the writer/director of the first film gratefully still remains involved. Minus his house.


Future title idea: Para4mal Activity!

Get it?

Anyone?

No?

Dust.

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About the Author

John

Website/Graphic Designer, part-time Hermit, and the man behind this curtain.



  • Sharp-O

    “Para4mal Activity: Demonic Prom Night Massacre.”

    Great work, John! :D

  • John

    I’ve got it! Para4mal Activity: Betamax!

    • Sharp-O

      Para4mal Activity: Citizens on Patrol

      Wait….

      • John

        Sold!

  • Char Char

    [like button]
    Thanks to your stunning teaser review, I may actually enjoy this movie.

    • John

      Thanks for the stunningly stylish comment, Char!

  • Cuclean

    Nice write up. Most of the footage in the trailer isn’t in the film. Thankfully it doesn’t give away too much. They must have filmed about two films worth and cut it down a lot. I’d guess about 30% of that is footage that made it in. There’s a lot of stuff in there to throw you off the scent. Like the Bloody Mary scene in the original teaser, it’s not what you get.

    • John

      Thanks Ian. Guess the uncut DVD is going to feature quite a bit!

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