Tease Me, Baby – The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug
Another Hobbit movie is on the horizon and with that, another trailer! Won’t you join us on the continuing adventures of Bilbo, Gandalf and the dwarves who I can’t remember the names of? Sure you will!
I friggin’ loved The Hobbit; it was funny, exciting and didn’t drag like its Lord of The Rings predecessors. It had a girthy running time but it didn’t waste the audience’s time and did an amazing job of keeping me engaged in a world that I had previously had no connection with. Suffice to say, I’m really looking forward to the next installment so let’s have a look at the new trailer.
Lord Dickbag
Heeeyyyyy, it’s THIS GUY.… You know the one. The one from the book! Fine, I admit it, I know something in the region of Eff and All about Middle Earth and it’s inhabitants. I’ve never read any of the books! This guy looks pretty evil though! Look at him, with his eyebrows… Insidious. Lord Elrond was a pretty cool guy in the last one so I have to assume that this guy will be an immense dickbag.
My Old Balls
Damn, Thorin is looking old as balls. He’s all greying and shit, I’m guessing this is going for more of a realistic timeframe for the quest than the week it seemed to take in LoTR. Some of the other dwarves look noticeably older too or at least more haggard.
“With special guest appearance!”
Legolas? Was Legolas in The Hobbit? I don’t think he was, I remember someone telling me Legolas and Gimli were going to make appearances in the movies, despite not being in the book. He seems a little more blood-thirsty in this one and less the jokester we know. He’s got weird eyes too, yo!
Dem ears, gurl!
Legolas’s partner in archery, Tauriel seems to kick all kinds of ass. That’s pretty much all I have to say about her. Apart from she’s really pretty~
A Barrel of Laughs
That is the best joke I could make for this article.
Duck Tales
Woo-Hoo! (Okay, that was kinda funny)
Smauglock
Benedict Cumberbatch finally makes a full appearance as Smaug and damn, he’s a big’un! I honestly didn’t expect the dragon to be THAT big. It’ll be fun to see more of him in action when the movie hits.
The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug is due in theatres 13th December 2013. I cannot wait!