Throwing up a little fun. Forget the forthcoming trilogy. Forget Vader’s story. Let’s think beyond. Let’s think… BIGGER!
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Or is that autocratic?

Which is the one where I rule with an iron fist?

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Last month, we asked which Teenaged Mutant Ninja Turtle was the most Teenaged Mutant Ninja Turtley of them all. It was a topic which caused much ruckus amongst the DOOM staff and we needed your help.

Well you have chosen and chosen wisely as the winner is…

That’s right folks, Mister “Biggest Staff In The Room” himself, Donatello is now officially DOOM‘s favourite Turtle. Congratulations to him.

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This month, I’m giving in and exploiting the fanbase including the crazy train that is pulling the My Little Pony bandwagon. The question is simple, which is your favourite?

Now, I’m aware that there are tons of different pony characters and I’m also aware that I don’t know too much about the show. So, to get this question right I have drafted in one of our DOOM bronies Sharpo to give us a Top 6 pony list to choose from.

(From Left to Right) Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Twilight Sparkle, Applejack and Fluttershy

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However, if either of them would like to marry me I’m contactable via The Website Of DOOM and would make an excellent househusband. I wouldn’t require much looking after, although you may find my constant staring a little bit creepy.

Call me.
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Welcome to the first DOOM! poll of 2012, the year of the apocalypse.

Last month, the people spoke and (wrongly) chose Batman as the victor in the Rumble In The North Pole. 59% of you thought he would beat up Santa. However, it has recently come to light that the real outcome would have been…

… the team up of the century!

Nice try folks, better luck next year.

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This month, DOOM (and I) are wondering which movie you’re most excited to see in 2012. We’ve highlighted a lot of trailers here at DOOM in our Tease Me, Baby! column and are excited to see these being released this year. But we want to know which one lights your candle.

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Hey, be happy I’m not singing ABBA again. That was awkward for everyone involved.

Welcome back to the only place on the web that lets you decide all the important issues in life. Well, the only place at the Website of DOOM anyway. I guess some other site might also offer this service. I don’t want to get sued. Again.

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A wise 38% of you chose to use a weapon of silence and accuracy last month. The sword is now offically the DOOM weapon of choice in a zombie apocalypse. Congratulations, 38% of you may live to see tomorrow.

However, 21% of you chose the wet fish. You are what we call zombie-bait and will allow the rest of us to escape. We thank you for your diversionary sacrifice.

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It’s now December and we here at DOOM Towers are in the festive mood leaving only one obvious question to ask you.

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Actually, screw that. Let’s just talk about zombies.

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This month sees the return of The Walking Dead to our TV screens and my question is simple. Zombies attack and the following options are laid out in front of you. Which do you choose?

DEFEND YOURSELF!

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Did you guys miss me? Thanks to John for filling in last month during my Dragon*Con absence. But daddy is back. Lets do this!

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Congratulations for September’s winner… Scream! You all decided that the Scream films were much better than all those other scary movies. And also better than Scary Movie.

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This month it’s Halloween! So our question is simple… Are you going to be dressing up for the big night?

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If so, make sure to let us know what costume you’re going to wear!

What does this have to do with DOOM’s monthly polls? Absolutely nothing. So I guess we should probably start this thing now, huh?

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Last month you told us how you felt about the Green Lantern movie adaptation. In figures in the dozens you informed us that you were pretty much lazy and apathetic about the whole thing and never bothered to see the movie. We here at DOOM Towers salute you in your lethargy.

“I’m sorry but no-one likes you”

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This month it’s another simple question for simple minds. We love you really, but if you’re visiting here instead of all the other great websites online… we understand our readership.

Comic books for years have been dominated by “the big two”. Those two have been Marvel and DC. Comic geeks for years have been arguing who has the better roster of heroes. Now it’s time for you to decide.

PICK! … NOW!

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Anyway, this is the monthly poll in which I, on behalf of the other DOOMsters, ask a question of utmost importance. I do this not to create needless banter, oh no. I do it in order to bring us all together in the finely honed art of being judgemental on the internet. It lets us feel good and someone else somewhere will cry as they find out they’re not popular and therefore insignificant and a waste of life. Beautiful.

So lets get down to fighting like Kirk and Spock. No, it doesn’t need to have homosexual undertones. Unless you want it to.

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Congratulations to last month’s victor… Matt Smith! Who nudged out his main opponent David Tennant by just one vote! but don’t worry folks, they’re still friends.

It just means Matt has something to brag about at the next BBC night out. When he gets a chance to, that is. I understand babysitting Karen Gillan is a full-time job (a job which somebody has been slacking at by the way).

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This month, rather than take a poll on what your favourite person/thing/show/movie/song/body part is I, thought I would just as a question about how you feel.

You see, some of our DOOM team here at DOOM Towers are a little bit divided about how they feel concerning the new film version of Green Lantern. For example, JJ and Colin felt it was visual vomit while plucky Sharp-O had a grand old time.

But what we think isn’t too important (kinda, maybe, don’t quote me on that). You see, what we really want to know is what you think.

So… tell us now!

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Anyway, this is the monthly poll in which I, on behalf of the other DOOMsters, ask a question of utmost importance. I do this not to create needless banter, oh no. I do it in order to bring us all together in the finely honed art of being judgemental on the internet. It lets us feel better and someone else somewhere will cry as they find out they’re not popular and therefore insignificant and a waste of life. Beautiful.

Now, lets get down to business.

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Last month saw the battle of the catchy theme tunes. It was a tough call and a three way tie for a long time. But the winner has been crowned and I dub thee Prince of Fresh!

Parents may not understand but it’s obvious you guys do. Congratulations to him. Although I wish his kids would stop building an empire.

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This month sees the international release of Thor in cinemas. I’ve seen it… twice! And it has me super excited for the eventual release of The Avengers film next year. But the question is, of all the Avengers that will be in the film, who is your favourite?

ASSEMBLE!

NICK FURY

The Man bringing them all together. Anyone who was confused by the inclusion of Ultimate Nick Fury in the film franchise rather than the original silver streaked Nick quickly got over it once they saw that is was Samuel L. Jackson (lets use his full name people). Mr Jackson has more than enough cool of his own to play the secretive super spy. We haven’t seen him in action yet, but I’m hoping The Avengers rectifies that.

IRON MAN

I. Am. Iron Man. Nanananana Iron Man. Dooo dooo dooo di dooo. Yeah, he has the best song with his name in it (thanks Black Sabbath) but he also has a great movie and a good movie already behind him. He’ll be going into this team-up film with some swagger and a drinking problem. Endlessly cool. He even has his own side-kick in War Machine! It’s a shame Daddy Favs has left the franchise for the time being. We can only hope he changes his mind in time for Iron Man 3.

HULK

Me like Hulk so much, me will only talk like big bad Hulk while talk about Hulk. Ed Norton good man. Me like him. But Ed Norton still PUNY HUMAN. Ed Norton could not stay be Hulk. He too weak. Hulk has now eaten lots of actors. Marvel now give Hulk Mark Ruffalo to eat. Will Ruffalo survive Hulk’s SUPER TIGHT HUG? Hulk not know. Hulk like to hug. It make Hulk sad to see all these actors come and go. Hulk want one man to love forever. HULK CRY NOW!

THOR

Have thee seen Thor? Verily, this writer has… TWICE! Have I said that before? Well, one doth not like to show off but it is true. Stan Lee enjoyed writing the dialogue for Thor so much he still writes his faux Shakespearian text in his Twitter messages. It’s fun and it’s something that I hope the public takes to. I’d like all of these Marvel films to do well. But is the man who wields Mjolnir. For anyone wondering, Mjolnir is translated as “crusher”. Fun!

CAPTAIN AMERICA

When Captain America throws his mighty shield, all those who chose to oppose his shield must yield. If he’s led to a fight and a duel is due, then the red and white and the blue’ll come through when Captain America throws his mighty shield. Or something like that. I don’t think there is any possible way the movie could live up to my expectations (even if Chris Evans himself high-fived me during intro credits). But excited I am nonetheless. America, F*** Yeah!

HAWKEYE

Jeremy Renner will be playing Clint Barton. He’s the only Avenger going into this movie who isn’t getting his own film. It’s nice to have him included but with no powers (other than skill) will he be left in the shade by the other big hitters? Clint has always had a rocky relationship with the rest of the team, especially Cap. He’s a rogue. A maverick. A Jake Summers. But he’s still a good guy so lets hope he gets his moment to shine (and this moment doesn’t involve jet-packing into a Skrull ship).

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Assemble your favourite Avenger.

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Welcome once again to my monthly questionaire to help the fine folks of DOOM figure out what you love and what you’re so disinterested in you couldn’t be bothered to click a button beside their name. It’s the electronic version of the colluseum and you’re Cesar.

Let’s get on with this shall we?

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Congratulations goes to March’s winner Wonder Woman!

You managed to trounce the competition (especially Super Girl who, it appears, nobody likes) and win our hearts once again just in time for a new TV show. I bet the actress playing her now is happy she doesn’t have to squeeze into the old costume.

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This month I’ve decided to focus on those cracking tunes that won’t leave your head. The ones that you end up singing in the shower without even realising it. TV shows and films have had some great belting tunes over the years, but which is your favourite?

STAR WARS

Have you heard of it? It’s kind of a big deal. There is this big black guy with a deep voice who hurts people. But his son is this whiny blonde kid who wants to kill him. Then there is a giant hairy thing and a little green thing who help him out. And this gay robot couple who follow them everywhere. Oh yeah and Han Solo. He’s a bad-ass. But most of all it has this great theme tune. BAH-BAH-Bububu-BAH-BAH-bububu-BAH-BAH-bububu-BAAAAAAAAAAAH!

SUPERMAN

Can he avenge his fellow Kryptonian’s brutal defeat last month at the hands of Wonder Woman? They say this film was cursed because of the fate of the actors in the movie, Margot Kidder became diagnosed as bipolar and Christopher Reeve famously became paralysed from the neck down… I was going to write some sort of “but hey the theme tune rocked, am I right?” end to that paragraph but I just depressed myself. Sorry.

INDIANA JONES

Did you ever find yourself running for a bus and singing this song? Or jumping over the gate in your garden while pretending you were being chased by a giant boulder and singing this song? What do you mean that would be stupid? Yes, well, I obviously haven’t done it myself. That wouldn’t be cool… but… you see… DAH-DUH-DAH-DAAAAH duh-di-duhhhhhhh DAH-DAH-DAH-DAAAAAAAH DUUUH-DI-DUH-DUH-DUH!

THE A-TEAM

I pity the foo’! Huh! I ain’t gettin’ on no damn plane! Huh! You a sucker! Huh! Say your prayers and eat your vitamins. No, wait, that last one was Hulk Hogan, nevermind. Anyway, if you lived in the 80s you watched The A-Team. And while the number of people killed was low, the rockingness of the theme tune was very high indeed. You’d be lying if you said the song wasn’t already in your head as soon as you read the name.

THE FRESH PRINCE OF BEL AIR

It’s hard to imagine a time before Will Smith was Will Smith but when he was The Fresh Prince there was a little bit of magic about him. He had a credible music career, for one. However, he was also the victim of playground bullying. Luckily, he had an uncle and auntie in a nice area who were able to take the troubled teen in. The theme tune to this hard hitting factual documentary was pretty good, even if he couldn’t pronounce “mirror”.

BATMAN

Dananananananananananananananananana BATMAN! dananananananana BATMAN! dananananananana BATMAN! BATMAN! BATMAN! DananananananananaNA! BATMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!

… I rest my case.

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So, now that you’ve had a good time singing along, you must choose. Which one will bring honor to it’s composer and which one will you fast forward through in the great DVD of our lives.

CHOOSE NOW!

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