Cause and XS sucks.

It sucks a colossal bag of dicks. Why? Because this is the third or fourth time we’ve had a time loop plot in an Arrowverse show and I’m real fucking tired of it, hence why I didn’t review it. I was banking on the next episode being better so this article isn’t just a solid paragraph of me giving out and having a moan because I don’t like not liking this show. It can be so much better than it is most of the time but, much like Arrow was for a long time, it’s trapped in it’s own tropes and the current writing team don’t know what to do with Speedsters except a set number of plot lines.

Shout-out to Carlos Valdes because he always gives a great performance when he has to handle Cisco’s trauma. It was the only thing in the episode I liked.

King Shark vs. Gorilla Grodd on the other hand is an improvement. I mean, it’s still not great, but it’s infinitely more watchable.

Glad to see Jesse L Martin has recovered from his back injury. He has been sorely missed and wastes no time in sorting out Iris’s fear of her office? ‘Kay. She broke into Cicada’s house and stabbed him with a pen but she’s scared he’ll show up at her office? Does she not have pens there?

The “Beauty and the Beast” angle they’re taking with King Shark is kinda cool, it’s just a shame that the show couldn’t afford to have him all Sharky for more of the scenes because he’s dummy thicc and the clap from his ass cheeks is alerting Gorilla Grodd. (I love David Hayter so much for that)

Dan Payne (who also played a young Obsidian in Legends of Tomorrow) does a great job of being a huge lad for King Shark’s human scenes and works well alongside Zibby Allen’s character, Tanya Lamden. The CGI for the fights is as cheap as you can expect but it’s used sparingly and to good enough effect though it does get worse as the fight with Grodd goes on.

Nnf. I’ve been waiting 2 and 1/2 seasons for someone to do that and it’s just as satisfying as I was hoping.

So that’s that for now, kinda lost steam near the end due to personal stuff but I’ll be back next week when they’re finally going to deal with Cicada. Or try to at least. Next time: Failure is an Orphan.

Yeah, sorry lads, British guy here and I don’t get Thanksgiving, really. One of the obligatory holiday episodes, O Come, All Ye Thankful is about as schmaltzy and bland as a Hallmark movie and I didn’t enjoy the overall experience, but there’s a couple things that I either enjoyed or were genuinely good.

Like Caitlin’s pun. That’s the biggest laugh this show has given me in YEARS. Good stuff!

Nora’s schtick for the episode is realising that her father is a reckless idiot who almost gets himself killed on a weekly basis. I find it funny that the Flash Museum exists as a microcosm of The Flash show, constantly trying to paste over all the shit that Barry’s pulled for stupid or selfish reasons.

It makes a change to see Nora get pissy with Barry instead of Iris (though she cops some attitude too) and I’m tired of her giving out about things not being like she thought when HER VERY PRESENCE IS DESTABILISING THE TIME STREAM. Seriously, she’s cute and fun and all but she’s still fucking up time the longer she’s here and everyone knows that.

With the Cicada sub-plot, we get his secret origin and damn, Cicada just might be the most relatable character on the show at the moment. His role as a reluctant guardian who comes to realise that he needs to step up makes for a very compelling character and his motivation believable. Hell, half of me wants him to run wild on Team Flash just for shits and giggles.

Oh, and I guess Weather Witch was the villain du jour? It was a completely nothing plot point that was resolved as quickly as it was brought up.

And Killer Frost made fun return to berate Cisco and Sherloque about being Thanksgiving Grinches. That’s a thing, right?

Apart from Cicada’s origin, this episode was pretty boring for me, only keeping me engaged with a couple funny gags. Next week is a milestone for The Flash as the show reaches 100 episodes and while Flash Facts isn’t quite at that milestone due to combined reviews, it’ll still be the 100th episode I’ve reviewed! Come back next week and celebrate with us because, as the saying goes, What’s Past is Prologue.

My plans for this review series just aren’t going to plan! So what’s happened in the weeks since the last review? Well, I’ve caught up with all of the CW opening episodes and here’s my quick thoughts! Supergirl remains boring as sin, Legends has a weak opening but it’s got Matthew Ryan as Constantine so I’m in. Arrow has an interesting premise and intriguing flash-forwards, and Black Lightning remains the most consistently good out of all the CW DC shows, not hampered by many of the tropes and trappings of the others.

So what’s been happening with The Flash? Shenanigans, mostly. While they’ve skipped the initial mistrust of Nora, I think Barry and Iris are a little too into being parents to this twenty-something they‘ve just met. Zero-to-sixty with the parenting. It’s awkward but since Nora is still an interesting character, I can put up with it. It’s the kind of development and mentorship we should have had with Wally though…

Cisco is still coming to grips with his break-up with Gypsy, being a curmudgeon and generally having a moan. That’s it. That’s his schtick now. Meanwhile, Caitlin and Ralph are going full-on Mystery, Inc and sleuthing the case of the missing dad which gives them a cool dynamic and adds to the Killer Frost Retrieval Arc. Caitlin finds a supposed suicide note amongst her father’s old notes and by using a cipher, decodes the notes to reveal a message from her father. Kinda hoping that this is Caitlin trying too hard to find a connection and the accumulated grief will see her go full Frost once more but probably not.

It wouldn’t be a season of The Flash without a new incarnation of Harrison Wells and I think I’ve finally reached my limit of Cavanaugh’s numerous characters and garbage accents. It was fun for a while but I think this Sherloque persona is one persona too far. The only semi-meaningful thing that he did was set up some doubt in the audience regarding Nora’s intentions. Like, yeah; obviously she’s hiding something, she’s from the future, there’s all sorts she could be keeping from the team.

And on the villain front, Cicada’s death-count is up to two with the deaths of both meta-jobbers, Gridlock and Block. His hostage situation with Joe reveals a lot about his motivation while Nora talks about his legacy; a metahuman serial killer who is never caught but who has clearly lost his family due to metahumans. It’s an interesting villain, for sure, especially since his lightning bolt dagger can even the playing field by stripping metas of their powers but the swerve with Vibe is a huge mistake in my opinion.

While I don’t want to see Cisco killed, it would definitely make Cicada more of a threat and galvanise the team. It’d make Nora step-up since his early arrival is a result of her actions and Barry wouldn’t be holding her hand as much. Plus this is the second time Cisco has escaped the reaper and he’s definitely got it coming.

Flash Fact: The titles of the first three episodes are a secret message that comes to pass at the end of the third; Nora Blocked The Death of Vibe. Not sure if that’s intentional or not but neat none-the-less.

So Blocked and The Death of Vibe aren’t as good as the opening episode but there’s elements that are just interesting enough to keep me coming back. In comparison, Supergirl is boring as sin and the only thing I’m interested in is the Red Daughter-esque subplot that will hopefully go somewhere. Next time, we’ll see things spin out of control in News Flash.

Hi, guys, and welcome to Season 5 of everybody’s favourite cynical look at everyone’s favourite scarlet speedster! Season 5 hits the ground running, picking up exactly where Season 4 left off, with the arrival of Nora West-Allen, Barry and Iris’ daughter from the future!

Oh, you sweet, sweet child. Thank you for gracing us with your presence. It’s been too long since someone had some bloody enthusiasm and wonder in this show and I’m so glad that Jessice Parker Kennedy is giving Nora a tangible sense of hype just to be near Barry. She’s certainly her father’s daughter too, inheriting a selfish irresponsibility that is uniquely Barry Allen.

I do like that they retread the cryptic newspaper headline and show it’s follow-up to justify Nora’s desire to risk breaking time just to spend time with her dad. It’s very humanising and while I’m clearly biased in letting her away with it, Nora hasn’t erased children from existence with her actions. Yet. If she does, THEN I’ll lay into her just like I do with Barry.

Flash Fact: Nora’s future knowledge reveals a ton of neat easter eggs but, personally, my favourites are her future vocabulary. ‘Schway’, said during a rather awkward coffee break with Iris, is the new ‘cool’ and is actually a slang term from the Batman Beyond animated show. ‘Grife’ is from even further in the future, originating in the year 3000 and being a term associated with the Legion of Super Heroes. One of it’s members, Lightning Lad, is mention in the aforementioned coffee break and the Legion has even appeared in last season’s Supergirl!

I’m glad that Hartley Sawyer is joining the cast full-time and his numerous epiphanies throughout the episode are both hilarious and nice little fourth wall breaks like mentioning he could have died in another timeline, which he actually did, pre-Flashpoint.

I’m also digging that it seems Ralph is going to be helping Caitlin dig deeper into the disappearance of Killer Frost, even managing to show that her father’s death certificate is faked. Looking forward to seeing how this plot line develops further.

Flash Fact: The non-existent coroner, Cameron Mahkent, is the identity of Golden Age Flash villain, Icicle. A very nICE nod to Caitlin’s powers, if I do say so.

And the last thing I want to mention is the new suit, designed by my favourite Atom; Ryan Choi! I don’t like the new suit. It makes Grant Gustin look like a right lanky streak of piss and it’s so plain! Yeah, the other suits weren’t bang-on for the comic version but they looked pretty damn good! We even get to see two back-ups in this episode and they look way better than this version but I suppose it’ll grow on me throughout the season. It’s great that Barry finally has the iconic ring, though!

Overall, Nora is a brilliantly fun way to kick off the new season and I hope that the new villain, briefly seen towards the end of the episode, will be just as complex and menacing as The Thinker. Come back next time and see if the show continues to be good or if it’s going to get Blocked.