79017 The Battle of Five Armies is a 472 piece monster of a set, and I was lucky enough to be given one for review so I’ll guide you through the build process and give you my thoughts along the way. Let’s start our adventure with the minifigures, shall we?

Coming in at a whopping 7 minifigures (and one animal), this is easily the most minis I’ve had to talk about outside of a blind bag opening so let’s just dive in with the first bag, which contains Bard, Legolas and two Gundabad Orcs. Bard is different from the previous Hobbit set I reviewed (I had to go back and check) but shares the same head and hair pieces. Legolas features ornate armour printing and both come with bows. The Orcs are identical and are very detailed for standard minis with no extra pieces and both are armed with crude scimitars.

The first bag also includes a giant bird, who I’m reliably informed (more like chastised by my Tolkien-loving friend) is Gwaihir, the king of the Giant Eagles. He’s an impressively large piece but with very little detailing but his wings clip in easily, giving him a massive wingspan.

The second bag rounds out the bunch with Dain Ironfoot, Azog and Thorin Oakenshield. Again, Thorin is different from the previous one I looked at, now donning battle regalia and a golden sword. Can’t help but feel he’s missing a cape just to give him a more kingly feel. Azog is an accurate minifig of his onscreen counterpart, even down to his trademark claw. His unique headpiece gives him some more height but there’s no side-to-side articulation. Finally we have Dain Ironfoot (apparently he’s Thorin’s cousin) and he’s easily my favourite minifig of the bunch. His armour, especially his helmet, are more in line with what I imagine a hardy Dwarven warrior to look like and he even has an awesome two-handed ruby axe weapon. Overall, a very impressive bunch but Dain is a firm favourite.

The main build is made of three portions and we’ll start with the Orc ballista. This is my favourite part of the build and it’s kind of a shame that I had to do this part first. The ballista is chock full of interesting pieces I’ve never used before and the firing mechanism comes together organically. I had to futz with it a little to get the arrows to launch in a decent arc but otherwise a simple but intuitive build. The finished ballista looks really impressive and I really dig the aesthetic of it, despite the rather drab colour scheme.

The Ruins of Dale come in two parts and this one is the bridge. It builds pretty easily, though I admit that I missed up a couple times, especially the base plates and the bridge connection but otherwise a solid little build with an exploding gimmick. I really like the little skull under the staircase that has no real reason for being there, it’s a nice little touch that the designers could have left out but didn’t.

The final third of the overall build is the tower, which is actually a more complex and involved build than I originally thought. There’s all these nooks and crannies that appear because of the choice of building pieces. The tower has three floors, evenly spaced out and with plenty of access to put your minifigs inside as well as featuring an exploding veranda and has some weapon storage (the instructions literally tell you to put the included spear weapon on the floor, that’s just silly). I like the snow on the roof and the rocky base, it gives the tower some much needed character.

Overall, I am very impressed with this set and while I think the title is a tad misleading (but what do I know, this scene probably does happen in the film) it’s still a fantastic set that can provide a healthy build time of around 3-4 hours and many more hours of story-telling potential. The 79017 The Battle of Five Armies set retails for around £59.99 and I definitely think you get a lot of bang for your buck.

Radagast is true to his onscreen counterpart, even bearing a pretty good likeness to the 7th Doctor, and friend of DOOM, Sylvester McCoy. The figure is highly detailed and I’ll appluad that, despite the primary colour being brown, the figure features some ornate detailing on the waistcoat and even includes the streak of bird poop that stains his matted hair. His articulation suffers due to his robe and beard so the only parts to make good use of the swivel joints are the arms, moving a the shoulders, elbows and wrist. Not bad.

Gandalf the Grey is a hold over from the previous An Unexpected Journey line (more on that later) and features his staff, sword and hat. Unlike his Brown bretheren, Gandalf is less hindered by his sculpt, allowing for the waist turn to be used but like last time, his legs don’t see much action under the stiff robe. McKellen’s likeness is not as good as McCoy’s but it’s pretty close! His robe has a nice woven texture to it which lends him a little more authenticity. Again, not too shabby.

Azog is probably my favourite out of the three single figures but again, he share some of the same limitations as the other two. His hips are hindered but at least his waist and knees are freed up to allow for some more interesting poses. His head, despite being on ball joint, is severely limited, only allowing for a limited degree of turning before the angles get unnatural. The sculpt is fantastic, with lots of detail and an amazing wash put over the flesh to give the white orc his pasty hue. His iron claw gets a nice metallic finish and his accesory is some kind of bone morning star, which is pretty cool. Definitely my favourite out of the bunch.

Next up, we head into the arena of two-packs and this is where I lose a little bit of my objectivity. But I’m still not quite ready for a tirade just yet. I’ll get there…

This two-pack features the funny duo of Bilbo and Gollum. I really enjoyed their interactions in the movie and I look forward to what they do with them in the next movie, if he even appears (I never read the book). This is a natural two-pack to do as they’re two of the biggest, well-known, characters of the franchise so you get Bilbo with Sting and a backpack and Gollum with… a pair of binoculars? I honestly don’t know what his accessory is supposed to be. Anyway, Gollum is a great sculpt and in a shocking turn of events, includes an abdomen crunch! Not even Azog got one of those but it helps Gollum hunch over as he is one to do. Bilbo is okay, he has the most freely accessible joints of all the figures so far, actually being able to use all of the advertised 12 points of articulation. Overall a really fun two-pack that HAS ALREADY COME OUT JUST OVER A YEAR AGO.

That’s right, folks. This two-pack appeared in the Unexpected Journey line as well. With no changes. Infact, ALL of the advertised two-packs are holdovers from the previous line! Even most of the single figures are repacks of first movie figures (only Azog and Radagast are new). I realise Hasbro has pulled this kind of stunt for years (repacking older figures in new waves) but to blatantly do it with an entire line just over a year after the first line died is despicable. So do I recommend the figures?

Surprisingly, yes, but only because I know for a fact that you can pick up most of these figures in discount retailers like Home Bargains for £2-£4 for singles figures and two-packs. If you need Azog and Radagast, pick them up at regular retail but because these will probably end up at discount retailers within six months too, I would recommend waiting.
It’s just a shame this experience has tainted my like of these toys because they’re not all bad, some a very good in fact. Azog is a very fine figure and even the Bilbo/Gollum two-pack has its charm.

With The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug hitting theatres pretty soon, it’s only naturally that the toy lines are being rolled out just in time for Christmas. For the moment, I’ll be looking at LEGO’s offerings with their continuation of the Hobbit line into this movie with the Lake-town Chase set. Having never read the book, nor seen the movie yet, how about we let the blurb give us some context?

Bilbo Baggins™ and Thorin Oakenshield™ have washed up on the shores of Lake-town. Help the heroic Bard the Bowman™ to sneak them in aboard his boat, hide in the barrel and sail into town. Sneak through the secret passageway into the armory to grab a weapon and tiptoe past the Guard to take the prison key. Blow out the prison wall for the ultimate distraction! Can our heroes avoid being blasted by the prison roof catapult and escape to safety? Includes 5 minifigures with assorted weapons and accessories: Bilbo Baggins™, Thorin Oakenshield™, Bard the Bowman™, Master of Lake-town and a Lake-town Guard.

So hey, a daring prison break under cover of darkness with a dashing rogue, though who they’re breaking out is up for debate since both Bilbo and Thorin are sneaking IN to the town but whatever, we’re not here to nitpick plot threads in a LEGO set! We’re here to review it so let’s set sail for adventure!

79013 Lake-town Chase retails for around £49.99 and boasts a 470 piece count. This boosts my building size from the previous LEGO set by a decent jump but first, MINIFIGURES!

This set comes with five minifigures, each distinct and cool in their own right. Even the generic guard has a fun design. Four out of the five receive an alternate face printing that allows for extra play value in these minifigs, something I hope they keep doing in the future since having different emotions allows for kids to be more engaged. Each character gets their own unique weapon but there are still plenty to hand around in the main set itself so let’s dig into…

A whole lot of brown! I’m not even kidding, every bag has large brown components to it and while that may not be very interesting, it gives the set a consistent feel. The first build is the boat and boy is it fun. It’s a very simplistic build in concept but by combining two regular boats with a little hidden connection, you end up with something reminiscent of a Viking long boat and a robust vehicle build that’s simple.

Next up is the wooden armoury so lots more brown. The buildings are where the pieces really go as the building forms from a very solid foundation up. It’s not pretty but it does have a hidden passageway gimmick going for it, as well as storage for extra weapons. It’s nice that they break up the brown with dots of white (I assume it’s snow) and blue to represent the water. Throw in some earthy greens and you’ve got a well balanced and aesthetically pleasing second part.

I neglected to mention earlier how this set comes in four bags, as well as the tiny piece bags inside each. The 3rd bag is the first half of the main building, a prison/gatehouse. The bulk of the prison portion is built on the same foundation as the armoury, and forms a solid base for the second half. One of the prison’s barred walls allows for it to be blown out from the inside out with a simple lever.

The 4th bag builds on top of the prison and adds far more green into the mix and all the pieces tie together really well. Once complete it can feel a little small but when looking at it objectively, the building is very well constructed and has a very pleasing aesthetic. The interior of the upper building is a little sparse but includes some nice details and connects to an overlook that has a catapult.

For saying this set only features 30 more pieces and costs £15 more than the Galaxy Squad set, you’d think I’d recommend waiting for it to drop in price and while I’m always in favour of getting a deal rather than pay full retail on anything, the Lake-town Chase surprised me in how much fun it was to build. It has a consistent aesthetic that fits with the Tolkein universe and has tons of play value, leaving you with a robust and entertaining LEGO set. This set, as well as the others in the Desolation of Smaug line, should be hitting stores as of time of writing but keep your eyes peeled to DOOM because I’m not quite done with this particular Hobbit quite yet…

• Used to refer to a person, place, or thing that is unique.

• Once a month; every month; from month to month.

• A person’s view, opinion, or judgment.

We here at DOOM Towers love to hear from our visitors. Partially because we have low self esteem and need to be told we’re pretty, and partially because you obviously have good taste so we can trust your opinion.

As a result, I have been tasked with testing the cultural waters, delving into the myriad popular opinions, having a look-see at the things you like to see, and textually probing your prefrontal cortex for your preferences on various matters both culturally imperative and wantonly irrelevant…In other words asking a question that only you can answer. Some may call it a poll but I call it THE MONTHLY RECKONING (a.k.a. NOT-Poole’s Polls)

Or something like that.

This month, we ponder the end of days, since it is so very fast approaching. The apocalypse will probably not occur on December 21st, but its good to know where your priorities lie in desperate times. How would you like to spend your last hours being entertained? With only the first part of Tolkein’s There and Back Again? With secret agent-y explosions and spy-punching? With a kung-fu epic by GZA the genius? With a gripping musical about the French starring Wolverine and Catwoman? With the epic conclusion to a terrible…terrible movie series? With the comedy/caper/ensemble movie with a heck of a cast? Make your reckoning.

[poll id=”21″]

Oh god, where to start? Everything about this trailer is completely kick-ass. It’s as if Peter Jackson and company secretly filmed The Hobbit among the Lord of the Rings footage, and are just now releasing it. Now, I’m at the vantage point of not having read the book for 12 years, so I can’t remember details. But I loved The Hobbit, and this is just spot on.

First, we’re treated to some familiar faces from the LOTR Trilogy. Elijah Wood as Frodo, and Ian Holme as old Bilbo Baggins.

We get an intro, then Martin Freeman emerges as a much younger Bilbo.

From his opening lines, it was crystal clear that Freeman is just the right man for the job. He has the sort of mild-mannered, yet gruff disposition that’s just right. Then we’re introduced to the thirteen Dwarves, each very unique. I made a handy gif for reference to watch over and over again in case you get lost:

I briefly wondered how Jackson would be able to keep so many Characters balanced, but then realized he already did it with more characters in Lord of the Rings, so thirteen Dwarves shouldn’t be a problem. The Hobbit is a light-hearted romp compared to Lord of the Rings; LOTR is a dark epic tale, and Hobbit is merely a bedtime story, albeit a wonderfully grand and adventurous bedtime story. I’m happy to see Jackson seems to know the difference in tone between the two books.

Continuing, there are a few familiar faces and locals. The Shire looks just as it did when we left it.

As does Rivendell:

Of course New Zealand looks just as much like Middle Earth as it ever did.

I’m not entirely sure what Galadriel is doing in this movie, as I don’t think she was in the book, but Cate Blanchett returns to her role.

"I was in the neighborhood."

Among other familiar delights we are treated to is Bilbo’s sword Sting in its heyday.

Some locales fans of the book will surely recognize: Mirkwood…

…and of course GOLLUM’S CAVE.

After introducing us to some new characters and showing us some beautiful panoramic shots, we are treated to Gollum’s reprisal; something that shoots chills up my spine.

"Precioussssssssssss"

Obviously since this is a teaser trailer, we aren’t getting everything. I can’t wait until Jackson gives us a full trailer! This is also only the first half of the story; we have to wait another two years for any inkling of Smaug the Dragon (played by Sherlock’s Benedict Cumberbatch).

Things to look forward to in the future: Stephen Fry as the Master of Laketown, Seventh Doctor Silvester McCoy as Radagast, the return of Christopher Lee as Saruman, Orlando Bloom as Legolas, Hugo Weaving as Elrond, and of course more Andy Serkis as Gollum.

It is worth noting that Saruman and Legolas appear nowhere in the book version of The Hobbit, so it’ll be interesting to see what Jackson does with them. Same with Frodo, I’m sure Legolas is only in the wraparound. I have a theory that he will help fill in some of the story concerning Galadriel and the elves.

Worth noting are the end credits. Not only is the writing team of Peter Jackson, Fran Walsh and Philippa Boyens back, but it appears Guillermo Del Toro also helped pen it during his involvment, so looking for his marks on the film should be interesting.

Lastly, the final credit page:

Two things here:

1. We have to wait until next December to get the film.
2. It’s in motherfucking 3D!!

And not the post-converted crap, either. Every single picture you see in that teaser will be rendered in two-camera, Peter Jackson-shot, made-for-3D imagery. Sink your brain into that!