If you’re lost, you can look and you will find it; a personally polarising season finale of Doctor Who! Yes, season 9 is finally over and what did we learn?

That Moffat refuses to kill Clara just to spite me. I’m convinced of it now. I could have handled the DinerClara being one of the dozens of time-shadows in the Doctor’s past but this? Insert the Sideshow Bob getting hit by a rake noise here.

So what fun can we have on Gallifrey now that it’s back? Wait, that’s Rassilon!? Fuck, you really got a downgrade from The Daltonator, didn’t ya chief? Still, seeing Gallifrey’s surprising fealty for the Doctor is pretty damn cool! The General’s surprise regeneration was neat too. Changed race and gender but still kept the buzz cut! Still, that was a dick-move by the Doctor.

“Tomorrow is promised to no-one, but I insist upon my past. I am entitled to that.” I think that line sums up more about what Clara should have been in this episode than anything else. The Doctor went full Timelord Victorious by resurrecting her and while I hate that it happened, it fit with his character.

The problem is that Clara has several moments of clarity where she knows that she should not be but the tumblr-baiting shipping trash just refuses to be taken out. All the “I love you”’s unsaid and the illusory feelings of attraction taints what would otherwise be an end with shades of Donna Noble but unlike the heart-wrenching goodbye we had there…

Clara gets to live! With Ashildr! In a TARDIS. Like this is fucking FANFICTION. Fucking-fuckity-fuck right off, Moffat! In short:

But, at the very least, there is some good here. The call back to Amy and Rory is cool, as well as the default/Mark I TARDIS. Oh, and then there’s Capaldi 2.0.

With the memory of Clara mostly gone, we get a clean slate for Capaldi’s Doctor and with a fresh Doctor comes the only things that matter. Fresh clothes and a fresh sonic screwdriver! Man, I felt such joy during this sequence, it felt great that we were getting back to basics.

So overall, how does this season finale stand? It’s entertaining and apart from some personal issues I have with it, it was a good way to close the book what was undoubtedly a dark chapter in the Doctor’s life (but not in the way we were promised.) What does the next chapter hold? Well, I know what’s coming up in just a few weeks…

And I cannot wait for Doctor Who to be fun again. See you soon!

You all excited for the brand-new, explosive, heart-pounding, dog-frightening season of Doctor Who? ARE YOU?

No, me neither so I figured I’d change up the formula a bit, something more akin to our Tease Me, Baby! trailer reviews. Instead of going in depth, I’ll just give my brief thoughts on stuff rather than recaps because, frankly, I’ve got other shit I’d rather be doing than talking about mediocre garba–

The Child
Well, fuck me then. The opening teaser is pretty interesting, I’ll give it that and to have the scene bookend the episode was a brilliant choice. Okay, that was good, what else have you got Moffat?

The New Dynamic Duo
Despite Clara being the main reason for me being unhype about the new season, Jenna Coleman plays her pretty well here as an agent of UNIT. Throw The Master into the mix and you’ve got a fun hate/hate relationship that’s more compelling to watch than Doctor/Clara one, to be sure.

The Clara Backdown 2015 Edition
Yup, this is exactly why I was ambivalent towards the new season (the fact that it was pushed back to almost October didn’t help). Less than 30 seconds within the same scene as the Doctor and Clara is back to the doe-eyed doofus that I despise. How’s Capaldi’s performance?

Witness Me!
Piss-poor as it turns out. Maybe it’s because Capaldi’s Doctor has suddenly become Smith’s Doctor or maybe it’s because, for a really stupid reason, the Doctor is convinced he’s dying. Also, Moffat? Bubala. We’ve all seen Mad Max, mate. Pull your head out of your plagiaristic arse.

The Ball Sacks
Yaaaaay, Skaro’s baaaaack… Are we going to see the Time War 2: Trouble in Jamaica once Gallifrey reappears? Probably not. I’m mildly interested to see how this plays out because there’s potential here for some fantastic scene but I’m not holding my breath.

The Verdict
Mediocre. Very mediocre. There’s nuggets of goodness here but it’s a little too few and far between for my liking. Probably the weakest season opener since Martha’s first appearance (another story that features a Judoon, strangely) but come back next week and see if the second part of the Season 9 premiere can salvage this story.

I…. I truly don’t know where to begin this magnificent episode, I truly don’t. What the actual hell, Moffat? After so many mediocre episodes this season, you knock this one out of the god damn park! THIS is Doctor Who at it’s finest and I hope it manages to keep this standard up during the 50th Anniversary and beyond.

First thing I have to address is the opening, which has Clara appearing alongside various incarnations of the Doctor. It’s an amazing scene with some astounding stand-in work and some less fantastic green screen, though they do a great job of matching Clara’s attire with the style of the times. It says a lot that she could have fit into any Doctor’s incarnation and not looked out of place. We see her interact with the first Doctor directly and then just call after the other classic Doctors. It’s a great sequence and wonderful to see the old Doctors back in some form.

We’re back with the Victorian Gang too! Vastra and Jenny are at home while Strax goes to Glasgow on his weekend off to fight Scots! Brilliant. The Victorian Gang is always a welcome return as well as the Alex Kingston as Professor River Song. They’re a fun bunch but their banter is soon cut short as Jenny is murdered right in front of them by the Whisper Men. It’s a visceral gut-punch as she apologises profusely before fading from sight. Soon, everyone at the conference is under attack from Whisper Men and the episode kicks into high gear.

The music in this episode is absolutely fantastic, buidling on the atmosphere in each scene. The Doctor and Clara find themselves on the way to Trenzalore and these two have a great dynamic throughout the episode; Funny and sweet but tragic and heartbreaking at the same time.

Appearing at the Doctor’s final resting place (the TARDIS grown to gigantic proportions after a “size-leak) on Trenzalore, The Great Intelligence claims that this was his final blood-soaked battle and that he became something much darker towards the end, becoming known as The Storm, The Beast and, most terrifying of all, the Valeyard. For those who are relatively new to Who lore, the Valeyard is the Doctor gone wrong. An evil future regeneration between his 12th and 13th regenerations according to the Master.

Inside the tomb, the Intelligence finds the means to undo the Doctor’s every victory and triumph, and wipe out the universe in the process. As he does so, the Doctor convulses on the control room floor as the gang rush outside to see the stars vanish from the night sky. Slowly, the universe becomes colder and even the Doctor’s allies change for the worse, as Jenny disappears and Strax tries to kill Vastra. It’s a truly desperate situation. Clara, having remembered the events from Journey to the Centre of the TARDIS, knows that she appears in other times to save the Doctor so naturally she heads into his timestream to undo the Intelligence’s machinations. Once everything is restored to normal and the Doctor is back in fighting shape, he has every intention of following Clara and saving her this time. As the others argue with him about this, River Song, enraged and frustrated, attempts to slap him only to catch it.

In the sweetest and heart-breaking scene in the episode, the Doctor acknowledges River’s prescence. Throughout the episode, she has only appeared to the others and not to him because this is River Song we met all the way back in Silence in the Library. She is the back-up copy of River. The Doctor and River share their final goodbye and it’s wonderful. A story that started 5 years finally reaches its natural conclusion as they say their goodbyes, only to promise to see each other again. I loved it!

Clara falls through time, encountering the Doctors and saving his life, explaining the mystery of the Impossible Girl but her story isn’t over yet! The Doctor appears to save her and he sees something that scares him. Clara confirms that she saw 11 Doctors as they stare at a silhouetted figure overlooking the dying embers of Trenzalore and the Doctor can only muster that the mysterious figure is the Doctor’s greatest secret. Clara collapses and as the Doctor carries her out, the figure speaks. He had no choice. He only did it in the name of peace and sanity. The Doctor scowls and departs protesting “But you didn’t do it in the name of the Doctor.”

The figure turns.

And the fandom collectively creamed itself as credits roll.

Oh, boy. Where to even begin… First up, JOHN F***KING HURT is the DOCTOR! Amazing! Secondly, there is so much speculation going on right now, it’s unreal. Many are saying that this is 9th Doctor, the one who ended the Time War to which I say, really? Every season since the series revival has steadily allowed the Doctor to put the events of the Time War behind him and go on with his life. What would be the point in dredging it all up again?
My thoughts? This is the Doctor’s final regeneration, since the Doctor established that the time tunnel was not only a gateway into his past, but to his future as well (And the Intelligence refered to him as “old man”). He went renegade and became something wholly unlike the Doctor that he lost the right to the name. He is the Time Lord Victorious, he is the Beast, the Storm, the Valeyard. That’s my take on it and I have to say it makes a whole lot more sense than a “forgotten” regeneration that would undo years of character growth. Hell, it might even be a good set-up for the 50th Anniversary…

And with that, we leave Season 7 and look forward to the future six months from now when The Doctor returns. What were your thoughts on the episode, John Hurt, and the season as a whole? Let me know in the comments and I’ll see you guys on 23/11/13!

It’s Christmas Eve, 1938, when Madge Arwell comes to the aid of an injured Spaceman Angel as she cycles home. He promises to repay her kindness – all she has to do is make a wish. Three years later, a devastated Madge escapes war-torn London with her two children for a dilapidated house in Dorset. She is crippled with grief at the news her husband has been lost over the English channel, but determined to give Lily and Cyril the best Christmas ever. The Arwells are surprised to be greeted by a madcap caretaker whose mysterious Christmas gift leads them into a magical wintry world. Here, Madge will learn how to be braver than she ever thought possible. And that wishes can come true.

The Doctor, the Widow and the Wardrobe marks the second year in a row that Moffat’s written a Christmas episode for Doctor Who and if next year’s isn’t a parody of The Great Escape, I’ll be very f***ing surprised. We get it, Steven, it’s Christmas. That’s not an excuse to make quirky, whimsical episodes based on films that are on every bloody year to save yourself some time. We let you away with the Christmas Carol but a C.S. Lewis rip-off? You’re better than that, sir.

As you can probably tell, I’m not a fan of this episode. It’s not even that it’s bad, it’s that is smacks of laziness and an overall lack of effort. The kids are forgettable, especially Maurice Cole, who needs to stick to his day job as the Milky Bar Kid. Claire Skinner is unconvincing in her role as a mother and her resolution is trite at best. Alexander Armstrong and Bill Bailey are wasted in their minimal roles but at least Matt Smith is his usual great self, but even he can’t save the main story.

The story is boring, full of plot holes and utterly forgettable. Getting into spoilers for a second, through some time vortex shenanigans, Madge plucks her husband from the moment of his death and delivers him home along with his plane, they completely forget about Reg’s co-pilots as they are never mentioned again. So Madge left two innocent men to plummet to their deaths (since she took the plane too) just so her kids can have a nice Christmas. What a bitch.

Poor story, bad acting and underutilised talent adds up to a very weak episode that plods along, not really building up any tension or momentum. And that’s it for the main story because after the main detritus is done with we get to something that goes a long way to redeem the episode.

The Doctor, after being convinced that he shouldn’t be alone on Christmas, goes to see a couple old friends. We finally get a reunion of Amy, Rory and The Doctor in a scene that is so full of sweetness, humour and emotion that it almost quelled my disappointment in the A-Story. Almost. I highly recommend finding this scene out and if not, check out the episode itself but brace yourself for disappointment.

No teaser for next year this time but as soon as one shows up, you can bet that you’ll see it here on NO, YOU’RE a TARDIS! See you next year!

SPOILERS AHEAD

I’m going to just write things as they come to me as I really don’t even know where to begin. I think it’s a side-effect of having my mind blown by that ending. River is Amy and Rory’s daughter! AND the Doctor’s wife and she’s just been gallivanting with them this whole time! The whole sequence from The Doctor getting mad at River for not showing up earlier to the truth finally being revealed was just so well done. I feel sorry for anyone who made the connection when the name “Melody Pond” was first mentioned and therefore couldn’t fully enjoy the reveal. This opens up so many questions too. Does that mean River killed The Doctor in “The Impossible Astronaut?” If so, why? Is that why she is in prison? I realize some of you have probably already figured these things out but the whole River/Doctor backwards timeline thing has always confused me. If anyone can explain it to me I would be happy to listen.

Aside from that, the scene when Amy, Rory and The Doctor are all gathered around the baby was great. I love that The Doctor can speak baby. And bringing out his own ancient baby bed for Melody was a sweet moment. It was really cool seeing so many people and creatures from past episodes all in the same place. Cybermen, a Sontaran, Silurians, a couple Judoon, the pirates from “The Curse of the Black Spot” and even the pilots in their awesome space planes from “Victory of the Daleks” all make appearances. I was quite proud of myself for recognizing them all as during last year’s finale I had no idea who any of the monsters gathered where.

My only problem with this episode was how rushed the parts with the soldiers felt. I’m not sure why they took the time to give The Fat One and The Skinny One identities if they’re never seen or heard from again past one becoming a Headless Monk. And it seemed like Lorna Bucket was nothing but a vehicle for the name reveal. But these are minor gripes with an otherwise perfect episode.

I’m definitely looking forward to where this story goes come September. And hopefully life doesn’t get in the way too much and I can continue writing these. Thank you everyone for reading these articles. Be sure to leave your thoughts and theories in the comments, and check out our Who Is Your Doctor Who? poll!

SPOILERS AHEAD

That episode was fantastic. Everything from the twists to the monster at the end was incredibly well done. And even though it has been done before, two Doctors on screen was a real treat.  Although keeping track of which Doctor was which was a bit confusing. But I think it was meant to be that way given the two of them pulling the old switcheroo on Amy (I’m pretty sure I’ve never been able to use that phrase before).

And Amy… wasn’t really Amy after all! My jaw completely dropped (Like this —->) when ganger Amy was destroyed and it remained on the floor until the the credits stopped rolling. I did not see that coming at all.  When was she kidnapped and where did they take her? My theory is the baby is the same little girl from the first two episodes of this series. But then does that mean The Doctor impregnated her somehow given that we saw that little girl regenerate? And was her birth arranged by the Eye Patch Lady and then was she given to The Silence to be cared for so that she would kill The Doctor like we saw in “The Impossible Astronaut”?

Needless to say, this is all very confusing. Hopefully next week gives us more answers. Though I have a feeling since it’s the mid-season finale it might raise a few more than it answers.

Be sure to leave your own thoughts and theories in the comments. Thanks for reading!

SPOILERS AHEAD

First off… Wow. I don’t even know where to begin! That episode was just so packed full of awesome moments. I think I’m going to take a bit of a different approach this week and just comment on things as they come to me.

The TARDIS has always sort of been a character in and of itself, but this week it was literally a walking, speaking person with a personality. It was great learning she sees the Doctor as ‘hers’ and the companions as ‘strays’ and learning that back on Gallifrey she chose The Doctor just as much as he chose that particular TARDIS. You see that she really has always been the one constant companion and that they were brought together by a mutual desire to see the universe.

It was really cool to finally see more of the TARDIS than just the control room. Granted, it all looked like that same corridor over and over again. But that really made the scenes where Amy and Rory were running through the corridors feel like they were in a veritable labyrinth and really weren’t getting anywhere. This coupled with the mind games being played on them by House made this sequence quite tense.

Building and then piloting the makeshift scrapyard TARDIS (geez, this episode was TARDIS heavy) was great. I kept wondering if maybe he would find a replacement chameleon circuit laying around somewhere. Though, I didn’t know a TARDIS could land inside of another TARDIS. The implications of that make my head hurt. Could say, TARDIS A land inside of TARDIS B and then TARDIS B land itself inside TARDIS A? Could there be a huge chain of TARDISes inside one another like matryoshka dolls?

And finally, we got to see the old TARDIS control room again! There was a lot of speculation about it when it showed up for about two seconds in the series trailer. It was great to see why it made an appearance in the trailer and to find out that it had actually been there in the TARDIS all along.

In closing, TARDIS, TARDIS, TARDIS. It doesn’t even sound like a word anymore. It’s lost all meaning. But anyway, I quite loved this episode. Mr. Gaiman did not disappoint. Hopefully he returns for more episodes in the future. As always, be sure to leave your thoughts and theories in the comments. Thanks for reading!

SPOILERS AHEAD

Truth be told, I wasn’t too impressed with this pirate adventure. It felt like just another story about The Doctor arriving on a ship (usually a space ship but this time of the pirate variety) and the crew being picked off one by one and it’s up to The Doctor to save them. They did it a lot with the Tenth Doctor and it was a bit disappointing seeing the Eleventh doing the same old routine. Though there were a couple of good parts. Swashbuckling Amy saving the Doctor from having to walk the plank was a ton of fun. And for a minute there I actually thought Rory was dead which would have been a pretty ballsy move.

Two things in particular bugged me about this episode, both fairly minor. First, why did the Siren take The Doctor, Amy and Henry Avery to another part of the space ship while everyone else was taken to the sickbay? Did I miss something there? And second, there is no way a 17th century pirate captain could pilot a spaceship. I know a lot of suspension of disbelief is required from the start with a show like Doctor Who, but come on! But like I said, these are both pretty minor gripes.

This week there wasn’t really much to do with the overall story of the series. We saw at the end that Amy is still struggling with keeping the secret of The Doctor’s death and that The Doctor is still trying to figure out what is going on with Amy somehow being pregnant and not pregnant at the same time. There was one particularly interesting thing though. The Eye Patch Lady appears for a second time on the ship’s wall in the same way she did on the door at the orphanage last episode. She seems to be monitoring Amy for some reason. My guess is it has something to do with the progress of the pregnancy.

Well, this brings us to the end of this week’s review. Be sure to comment and share your theories as they’re always interesting. Thanks for reading!

Welcome back to DOOM’s weekly Doctor Who reviews. This week we saw the conclusion to the first story of series 6. And what a conclusion it was! Though I must say, these last two episodes have been extremely confusing. They go at breakneck speed and jump around a lot. This episode answered a few questions, but left a lot unanswered and introduced even more. I’m still not sure if I fully understand everything, but I certainly enjoyed it.

SPOILERS AHEAD

First, the Silence. They’re so creepy! Especially whenever Amy finds the huge group sleeping like bats on the ceiling. I desperately wanted someone to run in with a shotgun aimed at the ceiling. Also, keeping track of encounters with marks on their skin was a great choice aesthetically as the resemblance to scars really messes with you psychologically and adds to the creepiness. And the Doctor’s plan for defeated them was simple, elegant, and brilliant. Like any good Doctor Who conclusion should be.

River Song gets a really bad-ass moment this week with killing what seemed like dozens of Silence (Silences?) in a shoot out back to back with The Doctor. She also has a deeply tragic moment at the end when she realizes that since her and the Doctor are encountering each other in opposite directions through time, his first kiss with her was her last kiss with him. I’m going to hate to see her character go but am really looking forward to seeing what happens.

The little girl is a bit of an enigma to me. She seems to be Amy’s daughter, but Amy’s pregnancy is really weird. From the monitor in the TARDIS it looked like she was somehow constantly switching from being pregnant to not. And the biggest shocker was the little girl regenerating at the end. Is she somehow also the Doctor’s daughter? Can a half-Time Lord even regenerate? Why did she kill the Doctor last episode? And if the suit can walk by itself was she even in it at the time? I have no idea but this has the potential to turn out interesting.

So there you have it, my thought on episode 2 of this series. Be sure to comment with your own thoughts and theories. Thanks for reading!