The Flash has one of the most interesting and eclectic rogues galleries outside of Batman and this week we get the nefarious Clive Yorkin! A man named Clive is our baddie. He doesn’t even have a villain name! Sometimes this show is a veritable Who’s That? of nobodies and jobbers. This could have easily been Black Hand but nooooo, it had to be Clive.

Moving on to the meat of the episode; the training of Kid Flash. It’s not going well. For a guy trained by some of the greatest speedsters in history, Barry sucks at passing on that knowledge but he’s willing to admit his shortcomings so that’s something.

The focus is mostly on Wally for the episode but we still take time to check in on the newest ship; Snowbert. Danielle Panabaker and Tom Felton have the kind of awkward, fumbling interest in each other that’s usually been Caitlin’s M.O. for the past few seasons.

We also get a complete reversal on Iris going full death wish with an emotional breakdown followed by a confession to her dad and fair play to Jesse L. Martin this episode for juggling light-hearted date shenanigans with a powerful speech to Barry.

In the end, Kid Flash defeats Clive after finally mastering the phasing trick and magically cures Iris who had been affected by Clive’s death touch? I mean, it made sense that Clive was neutralised but how does that affect Iris who was already infected? I dunno… Kind of a weak sauce resolution that leads to Barry and Iris canoodling on the couch and Snowbert go for a drink. Everything is hunky dory!

Yooooooooo! It’s great to see that Jesse Quick’s arrival makes Wally positively giddy but the set-up for the next episode is even better! It’s Grodd damn Gorilla City time! Can’t wait!

Untouchable is kind of a filler episode with an ultimately forgettable villain that posed more of a threat than he really should have given his status but we get development for Wally, Caitlin and Julian so it’s not all bad. Next week sees the return of Harry Wells, Gorilla Grodd and the introduction of the sweetest guest voice actor yet when we see the Attack on Gorilla City.

Man of Steel was panned by the majority. Yes, there is a strong minority out there who still laud it to this day but let’s be honest at this point, it has a 56% rating on Rotten Tomatoes for a reason. So when they announced a sequel being helmed by the exact same crappy director Zack Snyder, there was a large collective groan.

They’re trying to win us over by throwing as many recognisable characters at us in order to somehow replicate the popularity and success of the Avengers franchise but we’re all smarter than that and can see through this pathetic ploy, right? Right?!

*looks at Twitter*… oh.

– Brand Recognition

I don’t know why it tickles me, but the idea that Batman stops and takes the time to burn his symbol into the chest of a criminal is so ridiculous I kind of love it.

“HOLD STILL DAMN IT! Ah, now look, you ruined it. Hold on let me heat the thing up again so we can get this right…”

– Erector Set

Forget the logic flaw of building a statue to the guy who pretty much helped level a city in the last movie but could we not have built one for real for the movie? Like, out of foam or wood or something. Is CGI really THAT much cheaper that it’s not worth building a fake statue for a movie?

– The Writing Is Not On The Wall

I don’t know if I’m more worried about the idea that Joker broke into somewhere just to put some graffiti on a bat-suit or the idea that Bruce would just look at it with sad doe eyes. Either way, the sign is wrong, the joke is on us.

– I Should Probably Care More About This Shot

Don’t pick a fight with this guy! HAHA! Am I right? Psst, if you guys didn’t know, he’s really Superman. Spoiler alert! But oh man! Don’t pick a fight with him?! That’s exactly what is gonna happen in the movie! It’s like foreshadowing but in the form an amazing zinger. Who is the real Joker, am I right folks?! SO FUNNY!

– They Can’t Call Him Doomsday Because of Our Website’s Lawyers

Yeah, he’s zombie Zod, I guess. But lets face it, he’s Doomsday. Except that we know he won’t kill Superman in this. So what’s the point? And, here’s my main problem, you’ve just shown us the exact reason why Superman and Batman stop fighting in this film. You’ve now given us the whole plot. Congratulations!

– Tone Deaf

Remember how one of the biggest complaints about Man of Steel was it’s over-the-top destruction of cities and lack of emotion/consequence in regard to it? Well don’t worry folks, Zack Snyder heard those criticisms and said “to hell with you” and threw in some more!

– I Should Really Care More About This Shot

But I don’t. Wanna know why? First of all, even the characters don’t know why she’s there. Nobody does. My guess, there will be no reason why she’s there. Secondly, Wonder Woman doesn’t even get a line? Not even a “Step aside, boys”? Nothing? Thirdly, how crappy is that CGI background? Couldn’t have rented a street corner for your three biggest heroes to stand on? C’MON!

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OVERALL: This trailer made me roll my eyes at least 3 times and made me so angry it gave me energy. If you give this film any money at all you’re officially part of the problem with Hollywood. They will continue to misuse characters like this purely on the gullibility of a mindless movie-going public. This film will be crap. Big budget crap. Thank God for Marvel right now, that’s all I can cling on to with superhero films…

Where do I even begin? Do I start with how this set was released in 2013, 6 years after Stargate had finished? Do I make a witty remark about Jaffa being both a delicious cake and a male who can’t ejaculate in British slang? Or do I just show you pictures of the stupidest purchase I ever made.
Bloody hell, I can’t believe I saw this on the shelves of a notorious currency-themed discount store and that I bought it “for the laugh.”
I mean, I KNEW this was going to be bad, just look at it. It’s officially licensed SG1 knock-off LEGO. Best-Lock are peddlers of generic building blocks that are loosely based off of the general themes of construction crews, emergency services, military vehicles and space exploration. Y’know, the same crap all not-LEGO companies make but this is baffling. The age of the license, the shit-tier company, the shoddy build quality… HOW?

The buildable Jaffa *snrk* comes assembled, already killing what little fun I could have had with this set so I guess I’ll fall back on mocking it. Look at this horrific bullshittery right here. Do you see? Because I don’t think the designers did. Nor the heads of MGM who okayed this. THIS IS WHY YOU WENT BANKRUPT, MGM! If I have one positive thing to say, just one thing about this ENTIRE set, it’s that the iconic staff weapon is rendered quite well! In fact, it’s the only thing that’s not getting thrown in the bin after this review is over. The Jaffa’s *snrk* body is a plain yellow with no printing while the armour and helmet is like the plastic cast-offs from something else. They’re rough, messy and lack any real detail.

And here’s the rest of the set looks like, an anemic attempt at a diorama with no effort put into it. Seriously, this is exactly the same as some of their other small sets and it just looks BORING.

In the realms of licensed building brick toys, this Jaffa set is certainly living up to its name because it’s just impotent. A dead franchise, crap materials, a boring concept and lazy execution all amount to a 22-piece not-LEGO set that I paid 99p for and I still feel ripped-off. Still, I got a review out of it, that’s something at least.