I’m going to skip the usual foreplay because if you’re reading this, then you already know who The Avengers are and what this movie means, not only in terms of comics and the larger Marvel Cinematic Universe but also what this movie means in terms of box office. This movie will make bank and that’s because you will go watch it.

Of course you will, it’s the god damn AVENGERS. So where do I even begin with my review of this 141 minute goliath? How best to express my experience of this cinematic colossus? Simple.

This was probably the most fun I’ve had at a movie in my 27 years of living on this Earth. That isn’t hyperbole, that’s how I feel right now. I’m still not done comprehending what I just watched but it is the culmination of 7 years and 11 movies worth of build-up and it lives up to every bit of hype you might imagine for that.

I’m going to avoid MAJOR spoilers for my American friends, since we in the UK had the good fortune to receive this movie a full week before them so here goes:

You know all those cool snow battle scenes in the trailers? The ones you’d assume are from the climax or, at the very least, the second act. Nope, that’s your first ten minutes. Yeah, let that sink in. It came as a real surprise to me and my friend when right off the bat, we get to see what the Avengers do best and it’s amazing to see. This is a team that hasn’t spent the last three years sitting on their hands, they’ve been busy going on raids against HYDRA and the team’s banter and cohesion as a unit is just glorious to behold.

On the acting front, all the actors are on their toppest of top forms. I could not think of a single line or performance that let me down or held up to (and sometimes surpassed) my expectations. Some stuff bears mentioning specifically though:

James Spader takes on the momentous task of taking Ultron and making him… Real. And I was very surprised by his portrayal. I’ve never had a definitive voice or speech mannerism for Ultron but Spader makes the character glow with charm, wit, intelligence and, most of all, menace. He does a fantastic job of portraying what is, essentially, a gestalt entity but also give it a unique voice all its own.

The Maximoff twins are pretty likeable, even as the antagonists for the early part of the movie. The elephant in the room is obviously whether or not this Quicksilver is better than X-Men: Days of Future Past’s version. Short answer; no. Long answer; Aaron Taylor-Johnson plays a far more mature and damaged Pietro and is not predisposed towards shenanigans but he can be a joker, balancing both attitudes pretty well but he’s not the impish trickster that Evan Peters portrayed and actually comes off better for it in some scenes. Scarlet Witch is perfectly fine, Elizabeth Olsen puts in a pitch-perfect portrayal of the hex-wielding Avenger. She really earns her stripes.

And finally, Paul Bettany as The Vision. Our JARVIS turned Synthezoid Avenger makes for a nice counterpoint to Spader’s Ultron, which is obviously the intention but it’s so much better than I thought. I also adore the way Vision proves his intentions to the team. It’s a fantastic little moment.

There’s also a TON of other performances that are great but SPOILERS so I’ll just leave them for you to see for yourself…

The Hulk vs. Hulkbuster scene is just as awe-inspiring as you’d expect and even finds time to throw in some witty one-liners (from Stark, natch). It’s a knockout brawl through a city and I had a smile through the entire thing.

There’s plenty of surprises to be seen, and some fantastic foreshadowing to future movies. I caught references to at least three, not counting the mid-credits scene. I’ve had it confirmed that there’s no post-credits so there’s nothing to stop you leaving after the mid-credits scene.

If there’s anything negative thing to say, there’s one thing that NEEDED to happen in this movie and Whedon knew that, only to purposely leave you blue-balled; but it’s masterfully done so I can’t stay mad because it made me laugh.

Overall, my opinion doesn’t matter because you’re going to go see the movie. Of course you are, it’s The Avengers but more-so and I can guarantee that you will leave the theatre thoroughly satisfied.

JJ loves it. Aaron hates it. But can they get along for the two hours of watching it together?

It can’t be that hard, these guys below seem to do it just fine

What’s that? There’s nobody in the suit? That would be weird. It’s an Iron Man movie, someone needs to be in the suit and be Iron Man.

Hmmm? Oh…

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JJ and his amazing friend Aaron are here to…blah, blah, blah. Look, here’s what happens. Aaron and I have both seen Iron Man 3. He already aired his viewpoint on Weekend Justice, and when I asked him if he wanted to talk about it, he wisely pointed out that we have The Drive In Of Doom to tear apart what we like and don’t like in movies. Fair enough. I received some contact stating that Mars Needs listeners would like to hear what we had to say about the film. So I figured we would dedicate 10-15 minutes to a little Tony Stark talk. What follows is an hour and a half of Iron Man 3 spoilers and dissection. Like it or hate it, we can sure rattle on about film.

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Hello and welcome back to DOOM!’s exploration of the Comic Book film genre hosted by Aaron Poole and JJ Hawkins. This month we look at Jon Favreau and Robert Downey Jr’s Iron Man. Shocking the world, it seemed, the duo made a film out of a “fan favorite” character and produced something that was a lot of fun! So, is this the wank fest that was predicted, or is there a something there that might cause some dissension in the halls of DOOM!

Join as we watch Tony’s Tale Of Suspense…

Remember, kids…Cool people never look at explosions…

If you want to drink, take one every time Aaron and JJ throw an insult at the “Distinguished Competition”

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We’re finally getting our first look at the post-Avengers movies and first up is Iron Man 3! It’s an action-packed roller coaster of a trailer. It seems to be a severe departure to the previous movies, with a darker tone, heavier plot and more bang for your buck! Granted, this is only a teaser but it’s unrelenting in it’s drama and surprise. Let’s take a look!

Oh god. It was worth the wait!

He’s no snow angel.
The trailer hits the ground, literally, with a thump as Tony lands in the snow with his ass freshly beaten. Proclaiming he has a lot of apologies to make, it seems that despite being on a high at the end of Avengers, we may see Tony hit his lowest point. Perhaps this has to do with his brush with death? And I bet Cap’s words are ringing in his head right now. “Big man in a suit of armour. Take that away and what are you?” I’m sure we’ll find out, in more ways than one.

Real American Hero
Don Cheadle is back playing Colonel James Rhodes and the War Machine armour seems to have had some spit and polish added to it. Makes sense, I mean, you can’t have your own armoured avenger with a name like “War Machine” so he appears to be adopting the “Iron Patriot” moniker. Whether this is voluntary or a begrudging order, only time will tell.

Lesson One
The Mandarin (Ben Kingsley) is gunning for Tony in a big bad way, ordering a bunch of tooled-up news helicopters to destroy Tony’s house! Kingsley is a little too Bane in this trailer but hopefully that’s just a coincidence. The internet is abuzz with that stuffed bunny in the living room though. I don’t know why it’s there either.

The Suit and I are One

That line is really going to come and bite him in the ass, much like the “Big man in a suit of armour” line. This is the highlight of the trailer for me. I love these shots because they remind me so much of the storyline in which Tony’s armour becomes sentient and then possessive of him, which is the vibe I’m getting here. Mask in The Iron Man was the first trade paperback I ever picked up and will always hold a special place with me.

The internet collectively creamed it’s pants when this trailer hit and I truly hope this movie lives up to the hype. There’s so many elements and nods to storylines in this movie that I hope the web of awesome doesn’t unravel. Iron Man 3 will be hitting the big screen April 2013.