Season 5 of The Flash has been a real slog. Last season wasted a lot of time but I was still mostly invested but this one really struggled to engage me outside of a few episodes and I can comfortably say there was maybe five truly great episodes out of this twenty-two episode run and that’s pretty shocking. I’ll get to my final thoughts on the season as a whole later, but for now let’s talk about some highlights of this episode.

They actually explain the time travel shenanigans and I’ll admit that I was being pretty stupid not to figure out something so simple. It totally makes sense for Thawne to play the longest game to get himself out of prison, very Machiavellian, as he was in season one!

Hell, his whole escape is just wonderful, we haven’t seen some good villain speedster kills since… season two of Legends? Geez, that was a while ago… Yeah, they walked it back but it was still kinda satisfying to see Thawne turn the tables on his sadist warden.

Thawne double-teaming Barry and Nora solo is a great way to establish how much of a threat he is, even to two West-Allen speedsters but then seeing Team Flash kick the absolute shit out of Thawne was a brilliant tables turn moment too. He even had nice things to say to everyone! That’s the Thawne we love to hate!

I’m in two minds on Nora snapping; because on the one hand, her becoming a reluctant Reverse Flash would actually be interesting (even if this show couldn’t pull that off as it is) but her actions finally coming to bite her in the arse is really good.

All of this planning Thawne did and he still found a new way to mess with Barry because Nora’s whole mission lead to her being erased from the timeline! And Thawne just twisting the knife to echo the same kind of sentiment he did when he killed Cisco way back when is fantastic. Okay, okay, I’ve talked about Thawne enough, Tom Cavanagh killed it and we’ll, in his own words, see him next Crisis so onto the big huge moment of the show; Nora’s death.

It hits harder than a truck, honestly. For all the shit I’ve given to the show this season, the moments it does best are the ones that make Grant Gustin cry because for as much of a bell-end, that deserves everything he gets, Barry Allen is; it still hurts to watch him lose Nora. Candace too, to an extent, but it’s Grant that carries emotional moments like this and it’s sweet to see Nora truly learn from her father’s mistakes and pick “heroic sacrifice” over “stupid decision that will no doubt kill someone down the road.”

In the same vein of sad departures, after all the off-screen romancing of new girlfriend Kamilla, Cisco comes to the decision to not only reveal his double-life but to also take the meta-cure himself. It’s a very understated swansong to Carlos Valdez but, at the very least, it was a sweet scene between Cisco and the most important person to him there; Caitlin/Frost.

It’s sad but he leaves with a smile and a gift for his best girl(s). Cisco, seemingly, made a super-suit for Caitlin/Frost and they both seem to like it so we’ll probably see that next season.

We also get a great scene with Captain Singh, whose actor also appears to be leaving, as he hands over Captaincy to Joe and acknowledges that Barry is The Flash and he knew all along. Man, I’m going to miss Patrick Sabongui, he was always a great addition to any episode.

In a montage during Nora’s farewell video she left in her diary, we also get a shot of Ralph getting back into the private eye game and picking up a case file with the name Dearborn. Hmmmm… Now that’s clearly foreshadowing for his one true love interest if ever I saw it…

And in the stinger; Gideon announces an incoming time flux and we see the infamous newspaper… change. With the year settling on 2019 and the rest of the date obscured, this is clearly foreshadowing the upcoming Crisis on Infinite Earths crossover and I can’t wait!

This season really took it out of me and while I’ve threatened it before, I’m following through now. Discounting the Crisis on Infinite Earths crossover, this will be the last season of The Flash I will be covering on Flash Facts. I feel the series has run it’s course and the production crew have shown a real unwillingness for major shake-ups and that’s lead to the show on the macro scale being stale and boring to me.

I had fun with certain episodes and there’s been a few great moments this season but it’s not nearly enough to justify my time watching anymore, let alone reviewing. Thanks for everyone who stuck with this column and I hope you’ll join me again later in the year when the skies turn red, when worlds will live and worlds will die…

But until then, just remember:

Out of Time sees the introduction of a new Weather Wizard, the culmination of all the WestAllen BS and a shocking death! Woof!

Mark Mardon, criminal brother of the Weather Wizard from the first episode returns to seek vengeance against Joe, who seems rather non-plussed at the idea of a metahuman hitman. That said, I think Joe is bordering on the wrong side of zealousness in this episode. He doesn’t give a fuck about Mardon or his beef, he’s a scumbag just like his brother and that’s that. I’m not saying that Mardon deserves any sympathy but it’s odd to see Joe so cavalier about it. He manages to collar Joe, lure Barry and Iris to the water front and then unleash a tsunami on Central City. He shows a much higher degree of control of his powers compared to his brother but that may be the year(?) since Barry first suited up or because, as the flashback shows, Mark shows more control in general compared to Clyde.

I’m sure the West Allen shippers are going to be happy as Barry and Iris finally share a kiss! Yaaaaay… Yeah, I don’t care. I’m sorry but it’s not going to stick so why should I? At least it will give the shippers something to talk about for the next couple weeks but the real consequence of this action is BARRY BREAKING TIME. He runs so fast to counter the tsunami that he jumps back in time and becomes the “speed mirage” that he saw earlier in the episode! WHOA! That’s freaking awesome and means that most of the events of this episode will probably be good news for Cisco.

Welp, there’s no way I can apologise for THAT. Nope, no walking that one back. Damn. Yup, Wells is Eobard Thawne, the Reverse-Flash. But I found this entire scene so intense and brutal that it’s the best part of the season so far. Seriously, Tom Cavanagh and Carlos Valdes deserve some sort of award for their performances. Thawne has been stranded in this era for 15 years and while he wanted to kill Barry, Nora died in his stead so Wells has been training Barry, pushing him to eventually help him return to his own time. It’s an obvious revelation but ultimately, it’s the details that matter. Wells is not happy to kill Cisco, he doesn’t even smile. Just a solemn apology, some reassurance that their friendship and respect was genuine and an explanation that, from Wells’ perspective, Cisco has been dead for years. It’s chilling, scary and an utter delight to watch and makes this episode the highlight for sure.

Flash Fact: Carlos Valdes’ tears in this scene were not scripted, it happened naturally as they acted out the scene. Give that man an Emmy!

With Barry’s arrival in the past and the events seemingly changed for the better, how will karma come to bite our Scarlet Speedster’s ass next week? Will Cisco’s death or Barry and Iris’s kiss stick or will the return of Captain Cold and Heat Wave bring something more gruesome? We’ll find out next time in Rogue Time.

Ronnie and Stein separate in the wake of their (not-nuclear) nuclear blast. I have to say that I adore the way that Robbie Amell and Victor Garber play off each other. They start off very antagonistic towards each other but ultimately bond in the truest sense and the resulting bond gives birth to Firestorm. It’s the first true superhero team-up for The Flash (yes, there was Arrow but he doesn’t have powers, unless it’s the power to angst.) and while it’s quite short, I was smiling ear to ear the entire time. I loved it.

Iris is helping her co-worker, Mason Bridge, to find out secrets about STAR Labs. This is padding. Moving on.

Clancy Brown returns as General Wade Eiling and he’s just as delightfully evil as ever. He tries to snag Ronnie in Jitters (tranqing the entire coffee shop to do it) and then nails The Flash with a special shrapnel grenade that looks painful as fuck. He later takes the piss out of Wells’ disability and snags Martin Stein and would have killed both him and Ronnie if not for The Flash. Luckily, this delightful dickbag does get his come-uppance by way of a double cold-cock, one by Ronnie and the other by Barry, as well as something else…

God DAMN IT, Wells! You’re making it real hard to defend you, bro! I’m starting to realise I’m like those Ward apologists for SHIELD but, y’know, fully aware that I’m rooting for a bad guy. It’s quite the paradox for me because a lot of Wells’ actions can be construed as both heroic and villainous. Yes, he’s killed people but to protect others. He’s been seen to want to use his speed to help others, especially Barry. I keep saying I’m not convinced he’s the bad guy but he’s making it real hard for me to keep that stance up. Nice to see Cavanagh in the suit though!

KING GORILLA! Grodd struts his stuff and gladly accepts Wells’ present of Wade Eiling and drags him off, presumably to eat him or wear him like a finger puppet. He does have some dialogue this time and it is quite chilling. “Not God. GRODD.”

Final thoughts are an immensely entertaining episode that introduces a new hero. Between Arrow, The Flash and the upcoming animated mini-series, Vixen, CW is building itself quite the Justice League. When The Flash returns on March 17th, we may finally get a definitive answer to the question that is Harrison Wells so join me then when we are Out of Time.

The Flash finally runs head long at the mystery that’s run parallel to the week-to-week shenanigans; who is The Man in the Yellow Suit? The titular character makes his presence felt in a big way as even before the title card we see Barry in hot pursuit of his lemon-flavoured doppelganger. Will Barry catch him and will he get the answers he’s searched for his entire life? Let’s find out!

It’s Christmas time in Central City and Barry and Iris exchange gifts, Barry’s being a replica of Iris’s mother’s ring that she lost as a child. Eddie highlights the point that this isn’t the kind of gift friends get each other and I agree with him but siblings? Considering that Barry and Iris were raised together, I could totally see this played off as a nice brotherly gesture on Barry’s part if it wasn’t so bloody obvious that Barry is in love with her. Hell, even Barry’s dad, who is in PRISON, knows he is and Barry finally confesses and it’s awkward as all hell. Grant Gustin and Candice Patton are both fine actors but their characters have no chemistry. There’s a reason I’d rather see Caitlin become the love interest…

Speaking of Caitlin, her fiancé Ronnie makes himself known to her but tells her to keep away and that he’s “not Ronnie” but Firestorm, the first time we‘ve heard the name. He keeps repeating he’s not Ronnie and I twigged as to why. Firestorm is traditionally made of two individuals so if he’s not Ronnie, that must mean there is another person inside the Firestorm matrix. Most likely candidate is Dr. Martin Stein, a nuclear physicist he provides the brains to Ronnie’s brawn. A last minute save from Firestorm hints at a heroic path and hopefully we’ll see Firestorm flying over Central City again soon.

The Reverse-Flash is the main plot of the episode and he is a beast. He’s stronger, faster and is intimidating as hell. He breaks into Mercury Labs (hint at Max Mercury, maybe?) looking for a device that emits tachyons and Team Flash hypothesise why. Wells indicates that it could enable him to move faster than light and Barry is visibly shaken, as RF already has an edge. They ask Dr Tina McGee for a loan of the device to act as a lure and when she’s initially dismissive, Barry manages to convince her with some very sly tactics.

Flash Fact: Amanda Pays reprises her role as Tina McGee from the 90’s Flash show, where she acted alongside John Wesley Shipp, who played Barry Allen.

Team Flash build a force field trap, Eddie and his taskforce strongarm their way into the opertation, despite Joe’s reluctance and the stage is set and the trap is sprung by the Reverse-Flash. In a surprising move, both Eddie Thawne and Harrison Wells are present in the room where RF is trapped. THIS THROWS EVERYONE’S THEORIES OUT THE WINDOW!

It’s a fantastic swerve to have both suspects in the room as the primary villain. Hell, Wells gets the shit kicked out of him and Eddie pisses his pants when RF gets in his face. RF bodies Barry at every opportunity, highlighting the experience of the former and the power he has over the latter. Barry admits that he’s been terrified of The Man in Yellow since he was a child, so he’s got the psychological edge on him too. If it wasn’t for the timely intervention of Firestorm, Barry would be toast.

Everyone licks their wounds in the aftermath. Joe reveals the existence of met humans to Eddie, but not much else. Wells is being patched up but still takes the time to reassure Caitlin that they will find a way to bring Ronnie home. The West family plus Eddie and Team Flash, minus Wells enjoy some eggnog around the West house. Cisco takes Joe aside and confides in him that there may have been TWO speedsters the night Barry’s mother was murdered. This could be leading to a Flashpoint-style confrontation at the end of the season and I can’t wait to see it play out.
Stinger for this week broke me as… well, just look.

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK! HOW!? How the hell did he pull that trick off because I just GAH! I don’t even. Wells is revealed to be the Reverse-Flash? Nah, not buying it. It’s too easy. Wells has spent all his time in the past making sure the Flash has a legacy, the M.O. of the Reverse-Flash is to typically steal that legacy from him, right? The easy explanation is that he’s Eobard Thawne, Eddie’s descendant but again, not buying that for a second. For all of his sneaky actions, Wells has been helping The Flash and appears to have a great respect for his legacy so between drawing Blackout’s blood and this device he fits to the RF costume, I think he’s actually trying to find a way to neutralise the Reverse-Flash’s speed force. Is that just wishful thinking? Maybe, but I can’t believe Wells is the bad guy, especially since it’s obviously not Tom Cavanagh in the suit.

What did you guys think of the mid-season finale? Let me know and I’ll see you guys in January for the Revenge of the Rogues.

The day of the reboot has come. It was largely a disappointment, but I don’t really know anyone who was expecting it to be anything other than complete garbage.

I suppose I’ll start with the end, rather than the beginning.

Flashpoint #5
Written by GEOFF JOHNS
Art by ANDY KUBERT, SANDRA HOPE, and JESSE DELPERDANG

In a word…or three: I hate it.

This was a mess. Let me just start out by saying SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS because if you don’t know the story and conclusion of Flashpoint, you’re going to in a second. Secondly, TERRIBLE TERRIBLE TERRIBLE because it was everything I really wished it wasn’t.

The buildup that started way back when with Flash #1 in June 2010 was actually very good and pretty interesting. Barry Allen of the future kills the Mirror Master because he was going to kill Iris or some such. It was actually the Top whose motivations are to stop his ancestor’s criminal record from getting him barred from becoming a time cop (which he already was) and some such that I don’t really remember but it was an interesting little mystery story. The end of that 6 issue arc referenced some changes to the timestream and some things going on that made it that led directly in to Flashpoint. Now, problem the first, the changes to the timestream seemed to be limited to Wonder Woman having a different costume, Darkseid sending Bruce back in time with the Omega effect, Lex Luthor meeting Death, Deadman with the White Lantern Ring, and what looked like the Dread Pirate Roberts fighting another pirate…not a lot that spells out “TIME DISASTER!” to me. Even if you take into account the mess that was Time Masters: Vanishing Point to try to explain everything, you only get the idea that Darkseid messed something up. None of the other items belong on that board really. Does a costume change really mean a glitch in the timesteam?

Now, I suppose we’re supposed to believe that there are two, distinct timelines being viewed here, or at least 2 of the 3 mentioned in Flashpoint #5. This, however, is unclear, because in a splashpage in #5, we see what looks to be the rebooted timeline (#1), the pre-reboot timeline (#2), and the Wildstorm timeline (which is not, in fact, a timeline but is apparently another universe of some sort) (#3). I must note that nowhere in this mix is the actual timeline created during Flashpoint (#4). So that leaves us with at least 5 “timelines” (including the broken one from Flash #6 from whence Hot Pursuit came) . This is either a gross oversight by the artist, poor planning, or evidence that they don’t know what the frak they’re doing.

To quell some argument: Yes, I’m being this picky. No, this isn’t being overly analytic of the comic because Flashpoint, JLA, The Flash, and Brightest Day are all written by the same man who has a responsibility to keep his damn story straight or let somebody else take the reigns.

TL;DR: It doesn’t make a lot of sense.

Now, the book itself. The issue is mostly a huge argument between Flash and Reverse Flash about how the Flash ruined everything by trying to change time. The entire reason for Flashpoint’s existence is explained pretty swiftly over two panels. Barry Allen was sad because he learned that Rev. Flash killed his mother in the past. In a flashback that we never actually saw in comic books and is referenced for the first time on page three here, we see The Flash go back in time to stop The Reverse Flash. Apparently, Allen did some hooba jooba with the Speed Force and caused a massive timesplosion that created the Flashpoint universe.

Now, to the weakest part of the story, the part where Eobard Thawne reveals that he’s an absolute dick. He wanted Barry to remember, he could do it at any time and make him suffer in the knowledge that he caused all this. He could have done that before Barry had the help of Batman and could have done it without anyone’s knowledge and thus made the entirety of Flashpoint obsolete (because, honestly, the end of the issue does that anyways).

Rev. Flash also pointedly states that he is now immune to time…apparently. Because of the fact that he was traveling through time when Barry changed it, the rules of time no longer apply to him. To make a point, THAT’S NOT HOW TIME TRAVEL WORKS! I get it, comic books have free reign over the laws of physics and the rules of the universe. The second you travel through time, you become immune to time travel. You create infinite alternate universes every instance that you step out of the normal stream of time.By the simple act of going back in time to kill someone, you would create a universe in which you kill them, while leaving the original completely untouched.

Thawne uses this new knowledge to beat the Flash to a bloody pulp (because The Flash, trained fighter with the Justice League, suddenly cannot fight worth a damn). He claims that he now has eternal double jeopardy for Barry Allen and there will never ever be any repercussions for killing him. However, Batman, once again proving to be the only effective hero in the DCU, Bat-impales him on his Bat-sword.

Some other stuff that doesn’t really matter happens. Superman/boy shows up and punches people, Flash runs really fast to stop himself from running really fast, and a creepy phantom lady head tells the Flash that he done messed up. Time hits the restart button, Barry wakes up and makes Bruce Wayne cry with a Bat-letter from his future/not-future daddy.

Rating: 5/10 (If only because Reverse Flash gets Bat-sword-ed)

FIN.

Justice League #1
Written by GEOFF JOHNS
Art by JIM LEE

Similarly messy to Flashpoint #5, was its progeny, Justice League #1.

Now, this story takes place 5 years prior to any of the events of the rest of the reboot. This doesn’t immediately condemn the story to being awful because you can do a few “how they met” episodes and I’ll be just fine. It didn’t bother me in Lost and it don’t bother me now if they want to show me how they first met. DC wants new fans and I won’t begrudge them the effort, but as a long-time fan, don’t expect me to fawn over another gorram origin story.

An origin story that feels terrifyingly similar to All-Star Batman & Robin. However, this is a story without the goddamn Batman and lemonade, this story has a dickish (but still kinda awesome) Batman and a jerkass Hal Jordan. It also reveals pre-Cyborg Vic Stone for 4 pages of awkward father issues, and a Superman that might need a high-five for hurtin’ the face of Johns’ baby GL. Still no sign of Wonder Woman or Aquaman, though I really quite liked the rejected sketch in the back of the issue with Aquaman’s crustacean armor.

In relation to the rest of the reboot, this book doesn’t tell us much. The world seems to be a bit more hostile to superheroes in general, which I’m ok about, I guess it explains why there are so many “covert-ops” teams in the 52. Hal seems to have a much better grasp on being a Green Lantern, which might make some interesting reading for the main GL series. Bruce is a bit of an ass (Jordan DID deserve it) but at the end of Flashpoint he seemed like an alright dude when talking to Barry. Does he soften up a bit in the 5 years between Justice League #1 and now? Does Damien warm his heart to the cold, cruel world? Do rhetorical questions ever solve anything? The answer to all is a big ol’ MAYBE.

Final Thoughts:
1) GCPD has some damn nice equipment. Gatling guns, at least three helicopters, state-of-the-art body armor and uniform decals, irrational prejudice, Stormtrooper-like aim, real karate chop action, etc.
2) WHY IS BATMAN PUNCHING THE BUILDING WITH HIS CAPE!?!?INTERROBANG?!?!
3) Alien’s fire-breath-thingy also seems to be fire-butt-thingy.
4) By removing Hal’s ring, did Batman realize that the fires all over Gotham aren’t being put out anymore.
5) Bonus: Hal Jordan’s ring constructs show a bit of imagination.
6) I get the feeling that the little boxy thingy that they pulled out of the wall is going to be a portal for Darkseid/Reverse Flash/anyone they want because its a plot loophole/Nekron to return and for Hal Jordan to get heroically whisked away into not-being-around-land.
7) I’m going to stencil “Hustle, Hit, Never Quit” on my wall.
8) Superman’s punch is strange to me. Its blue and red, so it must mean that he flew into Jordan. However, he is seen walking out of the building a second later, so it seems that he is being intentionally deceptive about his speed to hide how fast he is.
9) In the confrontation with Supes, Bruce is clearly in the middle of an open area, but in the last panels, behind him is seen building, and he’s looking at Superman who is framed by building. This new DC universe has Chia-like buildings “Just add superheroes, and watch them grow!”
10) Every individual character sketch but Superman’s has a better costume/look than the final that they went with.

Rating: 6/10 (There is potential here. Somewhere beneath the madness, there is potential)

Tomorrow, hopefully, I’ll post another bit about the books this week that I liked. Warning: there will be fawning over the ground that Warren Ellis treads.