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HHH has a terrible habit of putting himself into matches where he isn’t needed.

This week on RAW Paul Levesque once again announced himself as the special guest referee for the WWE Championship match at Summerslam. This is the match between WWE-poster-boy John Cena and the-hottest-thing-in-the-business-right-now Daniel Bryan. A match that the fans are ravenous for (especially since John’s current elbow injury gives Bryan a good chance of taking the title), a match that almost sells itself. But now they’ve added the pointless stipulation of HHH being the guest referee. Does this sound familiar at all? Well it should.

Two years ago CM Punk absconded with the WWE Championship after beating John Cena for it. During his absence the WWE crowned a new champion once again in John Cena. When Punk returned, with the title, a decider was created for Summerslam 2011. The match sold itself, right? Punk was the biggest thing in wrestling for years after THAT promo earlier in the year. The buzz after his disappearance with the title was epic. The fans were salivating at the prospect of these two guys meeting in the ring again. The PPV tickets were being snapped up like a Sharknado.

Cue Triple H. Making himself a wrench in the works, Paul decided that this huge match for some reason needed him to make it better. And not a single person understood why. Just watch and tell me why this match needed him.

Now, the intervention of Vince McMahon, that’s something you can make a case for. Vince has put wrestlers over successfully in the past. Nobody needs me to explain the good he did for Steve Austin. The Boss’ dislike for small wrestlers is legendary so the story is an obvious one to use. Bryan, the perennial underdog, being told by the Chairman that he’s just not what they’re looking for is a great way to push Bryan even further into the stratosphere. That sort of angle for an already good match makes sense.

HHH’s feud with Vince recently has been lackluster at best, boring to say the least. I don’t think anyone really gives a damn about whether or not Stephanie is feeling awkward about her husband and father fighting backstage. So to push that terrible storyline into the middle of the Championship match at one of the biggest PPVs of the year? It stinks of ego and nepotism, even in the wrestling business which is built on ego and nepotism.

A perfect example was the big promo between Bryan and Cena at the end of RAW this week. Bryan called Cena a parody of a wrestler, Cena slapped Bryan in the face. I was gripped. I was excited. I was sitting on the edge of my seat. Then HHH’s music hit and I audibly groaned. Such an anti-climax. He came down to the ring and stood there with a smirk on his face and did nothing. A good representation of all he has to offer at this point.

I get that HHH was a big draw back in the day. Hell, I was a fan at one point myself. I hear he does a good job backstage and seems to be part of some positive changes in the company. But these days I think he should stay retired and stay out of the ring, even if he is only wearing stripes.

There is a weird thing that happens the first RAW after Wrestlemania. All the hardcore fans who save up to go to the biggest show of the year hang around and go to the show the night after. Grown-ups. With jobs. Folks who have been fans all their lives. Folks, who aren’t always happy with what WWE have been doing lately. And the RAW show seems to be where they make their points.

Last year, we saw the “YES!” chant begin. The discontent with how Daniel Bryan was being treated, especially after losing his title in an 18 second match to a man who isn’t exactly universally liked, was being shown in a way that couldn’t be ignored. The whole show was being dominated by “YES!” chants. Now keep in mind, this wasn’t a thing before, this was the very first night we saw it. The fans homed in on something that Daniel did on the way to the ring, embraced it, and it became a rallying cry. It dominated promos from The Rock and also John Cena (to the point where both had to acknowledge it). They started to chant “¡SI!” for Del Rio. Daniel didn’t even perform that night on RAW but they put him in a dark match at the end. Here is what happened at the end of that match.

I like to think those fans changed some of the thinking back-stage. Bryan got a huge push since and is still part of most of the big happenings in the company now. And it’s well deserved, I must add.

Well, this year it was no different. I think there was 1 main moment where I think the amazing New Jersey crowd managed to make a point that I think was important, and one long moment where I think they were just having fun.

1) Dolph Ziggler

By far, THE biggest pop of the night was Dolph fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinally cashing it in.

It’s been a long wait, but hopefully this will once-and-for-all legitimize Dolph as a top drawer talent. For years now, smart fans have been telling anyone who will listen that Dolph Ziggler is one of the best wrestlers in the industry. The guy has had to job for everyone and has been amazing doing it. He has all the skills but just not the opportunity. Fans have been getting ravenous waiting for him to cash in the Money In The Bank contract and when he finally did it he got not only the biggest reception of RAW but of the whole Wrestlemania weekend. Now, all I can do is pray that the boys in the back took notice and acts accordingly.

2) Fandango

You know, I’ve enjoyed Fandango. Before the name change, when he was just Johnny Curtis, he always impressed me on NXT as the guy who deserved a shot. When I found out his shot required a gimmick change, this gimmick change in particular, I thought “well, that’s the end of that guy”. This ballroom dancer schtick had “dead end” written all over it. But somehow he managed to find something fun with it and I’ve genuinely laughed at some of the “Faaaaaaahn-daaaaaahng-goooooo” antics.

Now, was the fans chanting his theme tune through half the show an endorsement of his excellence? No, it was fans just trying to have fun but hopefully it will give the guy a chance with what would have otherwise been a no-hoper. They did more for him in one night than WWE Creative did in 6 months.

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Much like last year, the post show promo (this time delivered by John Cena) had to address the crowd and particularly their reactions for both of the guys above.

But what does this mean for the future? It’s hard to tell. Like I said before, I hope this solidifies Ziggler’s place in the company the way it has for Bryan. But I think it emphasizes something else.

The vast majority of the crowd were above the age of 21. Any regular watcher of the WWE product will note that the opposite is the norm. 12 year olds often dominate the RAW and Smackdown crowds. The problem is, the crowds have been dead for far too long. Deathly quiet arenas have stagnated a product long overdue for an overhaul. The PG experiment has been divisive and while I think it’s probably been a positive as a whole they need to get some more grown ups back in to fill some seats and make some noise because wrestling is nothing without the crowd.

If only we could have this crowd every week.

It’s that time again. The big show. Not him, Wrestlemania. My predictions last year were damn near perfect. The only winner I got wrong was Rock/Cena, but considering that was the big shock of the night, I’m OK with missing just one. Can my accuracy continue?

These are the announced matches at the time of writing this article. Considering there is no Diva’s title or US title match on the card 5 days before the show says a few things but I’m sure there’ll be last minute matches for both on the night.

Intercontinental Champion Wade Barrett vs. The Miz (Interactive Pre-Show Match)

The rumble in the pre-show! Nobody really cares about this match so it’s not too surprising it’s a YouTube only event. Although if that was the rule, half of these matches would be on the pre-show instead of the PPV. That being said, Barrett versus Miz being off the Pay-Per-View also locks in it’s inevitability. They won’t change belts like that.

Winner: Wade Barrett
Via: Pin-fall

Tons of Funk & The Funkadactyls vs. Team Rhodes Scholars & The Bella Twins

This could have been a bigger deal. They genuinely could have made me care about this one. Rhodes Scholars are great on the mic and in the ring. The team of Albert/Tensai/Sweet Tea and Brodus Clay are… good in the ring? But at the very least, the Bella Twins are back and the Funkadactyls aren’t too bad. There is enough going on to make it fascinating. But it has taken a back seat to all the other crap going on. It probably should have been saved for another, less part-timer heavy night. Oh well.

Winner: Tons of Funk & The Funkadactyls
Via: The medium of dance

Chris Jericho vs. Fandango

Chris Jericho is an excellent servant to the WWE. He has no ego. His last couple of years have seen him job to everyone and yet somehow still remain popular and hasn’t lost any of his reputation.

Fandago is… well, he makes me laugh at the very least. This match is going to be his first one (as this character, watchers of NXT will be familiar the the wrestler under his previous name) and the standard rule is you don’t lose your debut match. They may dirty the ending to keep Jericho strong but this is definitely going to Faaaaahn-daaaaaahng-goooooooooooooo.

Winner: Fandango
Via: DQ?

WWE Tag Team Champions Team Hell No vs. Dolph Ziggler & Big E Langston

Lots of people are expecting Wrestlemania to be the home of the dissolution of Team Friendship. I don’t think we’re quite there yet and I definitely don’t think they’re going to give the titles to this newly made team.

Am I disappointed we’re not seeing the Prime Time Players in the match? Hell yes. But having these four men in the ring should still result in a great match. Silver linings.

Winner: Team Hell No
Via: Pin-fall

Ryback vs. Mark Henry

Ryback has lost a lot of matches lately at PPVs. He’s still one of creative’s favourite guys and I’m sure they’d love to give him the big win here. Henry has been around long enough that a loss here wouldn’t hurt him as much. I’m sure they’d love to have the spectacle of Ryback giving his finisher to the massive Henry too. This one is locked in.

Winner: Ryback
Via: Eating

Randy Orton, Sheamus & Big Show vs. The Shield

This is the only match that I’m undecided about. This could really go either way. Orton and Sheamus have already lost to the Shield, so logic would tell me that it will reverse and Shield will lose in this rematch. The adding to Big Show could either turn him face again or he could stay heel and cost them the match.

So many variables but I’m going to go with my heart on this one. Believe in The Shield!

Winner: The Shield
Via: Count-Out, possibly?, maybe, I don’t know

World Heavyweight Champion Alberto Del Rio vs. Jack Swagger

You know what? Everyone has it nailed on that Swagger is going to win this one. And he just might. Momentum seems to be on his side and it all seems to be going that way. But I’m going to make my boldest predicition of the night. Yes. I think it will finally happen. Ziggler is going to cash in the case. And I will explode with joy.

Winner: Dolph Ziggler
Via: Cashing It In

Triple H vs. Brock Lesnar (No Holds Barred Match; If Lesnar wins, Triple H must retire)

And here starts the slow decent into boredom. The next three matches are so obvious it hurts. HHH will win. No doubt. No worries.

Winner: HHH
Via: Pin-fall

The Undertaker vs. CM Punk

The streak will not end. As much as I’d love to see it happen. As interesting as it would be. It’s just not happening. Just try to enjoy the ride.

Winner: The Undertaker
Via: Inevitability

WWE Champion The Rock vs. John Cena

The part-timer will drop the belt and go back to his real job. Cena will once again be the superman on the block and we can all leave and go cry into our corn flakes.

Winner: John Cena
Via: Sigh…

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Those are my picks. If you want to share your own leave them in the comments and we’ll see how we all get on after Sunday night. Good luck!

This might turn into a bit of a rant so bear with me. Obviously if you haven’t seen the Rumble yet don’t read an article about it.

Last night saw the most predictable WWE Pay-Per-View in recent memory. This current story-line setting up the “twice in a lifetime” Cena/Rock confrontation at Wrestlemania was sign-posted months ago and the inevitability of it all is tough to take.

Looking at it objectively it’s not a bad story. The company boy Cena lost his must-win match to The Rock at Wrestlemania last year and now he has a chance to redeem himself, and for the title no less. But the problem is this story requires the belt to be in the hands of a part-timer and there are some real issues with that for most fans like myself. It all boils down to respect.

Going back to Wrestlemania last year, The Rock’s win over Cena was a shock. John Cena was the WWE’s star. They placed the company on his shoulders completely and weren’t shy about doing so. While The Rock was in a similar position himself ten years ago, he was now a Hollywood actor and would make an appearance in the WWE once every year or two. To the outsider, for the actor to win would be ridiculous. To let the actor beat their star man would make him look weak and bury him as a legitimate top wrestler. But the WWE didn’t seem to think that way. So The Rock is still seen as the bigger star or they thought Cena was so over that they couldn’t hurt him. Either way it seemed bizarre at the time.

At that very same Pay-Per-View, CM Punk was in the early stages of what would eventually be the longest WWE Title reign in over 25 years. The longest title reign in my lifetime. And his whole reign was about “respect” and how the title was more important than anything else. He brought legitimacy to the belt which was previously being handed around like a parcel at a kids party. He did this, for 434 days, despite being habitually given bad time slots and little air-time. And for the WWE fans who had become disillusioned with the current WWE product, he was a rallying point. He was what the company could be and in many ways what it needs to become if it’s to stay alive.

Punk’s loss to Rock wasn’t a shock like it was with Cena as we could all see it coming, especially the moment that Cena won the Rumble. You could see the cogs moving in Vince McMahon’s brain from miles away. But despite it’s obviousness it was nevertheless still galling to see the belt being handed to a part-time wrestler. To a man who won’t be showing up to house-shows on tour and to a man who won’t be wrestling again until the next Pay-Per-View. He’ll only defend his belt once until he eventually loses to Cena at Wrestlemania.

At the end of the day, wrestling is a business and this a money driven decision. As far as Vince is concerned this was a no-brainer. But sometimes I think you need to worry about the image you’re presenting and the legacy of your business’ top prize. The Rumble was predictable but it doesn’t mean it was right.

I would just like to start off by mentioning that all my WWE reports are based on NO backstage sources. There is no insider information here, folks. I just calls ’em as I sees ’em.

It’s understandable there is a bit of a backlash lately towards all the inside gossip floating around online. Wrestling, especially WWE wrestling, is theatre and while it doesn’t necessarily hurt to know if our hero dies at the end of the story, it does hurt if we get all the ins-and-outs of the story weeks in advance.

Also, sometimes it’s just people bullshitting. Which is what I’m doing, but I’m upfront an honest about it and not trying to pass it off as facts because I’ve heard that an unnamed source heard from his cousin that a wrestler won’t be renewing their contract.

But they’re totally not renewing their contract.

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Folks, I have a theory. This theory involves two pieces of information that we know to be true and then one leap of faith. So bear with me as I spitball with you here.

As of writing this article, CM Punk has been the WWE champion for 316 days. I know this because I looked it up here but also because they haven’t shut up about it on air for a while. The WWE aren’t subtle about anything folks, they’re telling us this because it’s going to be important later. And I think I know why.

Cast your mind back to Wrestlemania. Daniel Bryan and Sheamus had a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it match for the World Heavyweight championship. 18 seconds, it famously lasted for. The WWE were trying to break their record for the shortest title match. This record was previously held by Diesel who pinned Bob Backlund in 8 seconds during a non-televised event. WWE, being the true pros of spin that they are, managed to break a record for the shortest Wrestlemania title change-over but it wasn’t the one they wanted.

CM Punk signed a lucrative new contract with the WWE when he returned after his much publicised disappearance act. It’s not uncommon for things like title runs to be part of the negotiations… I think you can see where I’m going with this.

Punk is currently the 10th longest, single run, WWE champion with his 316 days. So lets take a look at the folks in front of him.

As you can see, the really big runs came back in the 70s and 80s with Bruno Sammartino having an incredible run spanning nearly 8 years. Wow. And to follow that up with another 4 year run in 73 means that Sammartino has held the title longer than a lot of WWE fans have lived.

Do I think Punk will have an 8 year run? Nope. The time when they can get away with that is long gone. But I have a funny feeling he’s going to beat #6 on that list.

For the last number of years John Cena has been the man in the WWE. In a lot of ways he’s been both their mascot and their quarterback at the same time. They’ve placed the company on his (very large) shoulders and he has run with it. I have a funny feeling Punk, with his new leverage in the company, is being positioned as the next company man. The new flagship. The longest running WWE champion in history, remember the belt would have been WWF and WWWF for the top 5 wrestlers so they can phrase it like that if they want, and I’m sure they will.

So strap yourselves in folks, because if I’m right, we’ll have Punk as champ until 2013. It could be one hell of a ride.

The 1000th episode of RAW was aired this past week, and as per usual Vince turned it into equal parts car crash and joyous entertainment. I won’t go into a full break down of the episode but I would like to talk about the moments that stuck out for me. Overall, it was a decent show, nothing more, but it was a “kitchen sink” sort of broadcast with so many crazy parts that it deserves some mention.

As always when reviewing a show like this, if you haven’t seen it yet, there be spoilers a-hoy-hoy:

The DX Reunion

The sad state of Sean Waltman’s physical and psychological appearance aside, I was super happy to see the team back on screen. I have a huge soft spot in my heart for Billy Gunn, he was one of my favourite wrestlers growing up. Road Dogg is a guy who has turned a corner in his life and seems to be on the straight and narrow now, which is wonderful, and appears to still have a lot of skill on the mic even though he didn’t get a huge opportunity to show it off that night.

You could really tell the guys were having a lot of fun. With HHH’s wise-crack about everyone’s hairline to the butt-joke skit afterwards, it was definitely a party atmosphere when they were around. And with X-Pac’s madness aside, you could see how much it meant to the New Age Outlaws to be in a WWE ring again. And damn it, it meant a lot to me too, to see them there.

The Sonic advertisement.

I hope the King was sufficiently embarrassed.

Mae Young’s Hand-son.

Genuinely, I think this was a stroke of comedic genius. And if you’re too young to remember what this is in reference to, then you’re too young for me to explain it. But don’t worry, you don’t want to know. I wish I could forget.

This almost made the therapy worth it. Almost.

Dude Love’s entrance was longer than Brodus Clay’s match

That is all.

I’m really getting tired of squash matches. 

Lita… Wow. Yay APA.

In the words of Farooq “…damn!”. Lita still has it. All of it. And I like it. Yup.

I’ve kind of made a promise to myself not to make misogynistic comments online. So I’ll stop talking about Lita except to say that it’s a shame she is no longer with the WWE as she was a good talent in the ring and could genuinely wrestle.

I got a thrill seeing the APA back on TV too. That clothesline-from-hell still looks as crazy as it always did. God damn, that always looks like it hurts.

The Punk Heel Turn.

You know, there was rumours of Cena doing it which I dismissed off the bat. When the Rock challenged “the champion” to a match at the Royal Rumble, I figured it meant Cena would win the belt that night, which did nothing as a theory but make me sad, however it seemed logical that they would set up a Cena/Rock rematch. I was also convinced that Cena would win this one because to make him the first Money In The Back winner to not became champion, ON TOP OF making Cena lose on this big show… well I’m just shocked that this all happened. So well played WWE, well played.

So if a heel turn means Punk is still the champion… I’ll take it. I look forward to see what he comes up with.

Oh and before I forget…

…I, for one, welcome our new overlord.

In what has become an unstoppable growing beast of promo on RAW, the John Cena vs. The Rock match at Wrestelemania is building up with aplomb. We all expected this to happen, in what was an unusual step, they announced the match a year ago. They’re obviously hoping this “generation versus generation” fight will sell some Pay-Per-View tickets. What we probably weren’t expecting though was how this promo battle has been going.

For one, it has been much more personal than anyone could have realized.

If you have been listening to any interviews from wrestlers over the last few years, it is pretty obvious that the majority of the locker room has a real problem with retired wrestlers coming back for one big pay cheque at Wrestlemania, stealing what they consider to be their spot/limelight. It’s understandable. These guys on the roster do regular work everynight at house shows and tapings week in and week out having to endure all the troubles of life on the road. If someone who doesn’t do that work turns up and steals the show at a big event… it would stick in your craw.

John Cena has gone on record to say this sort of thing in the past and, in what seems to be an ever increasing trend on RAW, has decided to shoot about this in his build up to Wrestlemania. This is a brave move for a couple of reasons. First of all the fans love Rock, and considering Cena’s already rocky relationship with the crowd (no pun intended) they could have turned on him further. The WWE still don’t want a heel Cena. It’s also brave because Rock isn’t a wrestler any more. He doesn’t need this. He has legitimately become bigger than the WWE and if you push his buttons enough, one can only assume he won’t come back. So I have to say, I thought it was ballsy of Cena to take this angle and I did not expect that from a guy who has been sailing along for quite some time in the company.

But most of all, what no-one saw coming is that Rock is losing. Badly.

Like I said before, Dwayne Johnson is no longer a wrestler. He’s a successful movie star. And, concordantly, he’s rusty in the ring. It was evident two weeks ago when he came back and did a rather meandering, boring promo. It was even more evident when Cena pipe-bombed him with the comment about the notes written on Rock’s wrist.

This was embarrassing for all involved. It was clear that it has also hit a nerve with Rocky. He was flustered and visibly agitated directly afterwards and this week on RAW stepped up his game. Unfortunately his game is still sidelined to pre-recorded pieces but these taped sections genuinely reminded me of the Rocky of old. Attitude era cursing and all.

As a side note: I don’t mind the cursing at all and in a way I miss it a little but it really stood out on a show that has been doing it’s best to stay kid friendly. The fact that they let Rock away with it so much goes to show the amount of sway he has with Vince and must have been something Rock argued for.

So at the moment it definitely seems like Rock’s back is against the wall. There is more than just a big money match at stake here. Essentially it’s Rock’s reputation on the line now. At the moment he’s looking foolish in front of the fans that adore him but as everyone knows, WWE fans are some of the most fickle in the world. That adoration could turn to derision very quickly unless he improves quickly. Wrist memos and taped segments on the street are not going to cut it.

It’s going to make for a very interesting run up to Wrestlemania.

I noticed Zack Ryder’s web show almost purely by accident. In the same way that most people are found online, it was through a series of “related videos” clicks on youtube. I enjoyed it instantly. Not only was the wrestler not taking himself too seriously and seemed to be genuinely having fun with his flip cam but it was a genius way to try and push himself and find an audience.

The WWE creative team obviously thought very little of Ryder. He was being buried and Zack hadn’t been on TV in months. But numbers talk and when one of your roster is regularly getting 150,000 hits on youtube for something he makes in his apartment… you get attention. The thing is, he wasn’t getting attention from the WWE big wigs, but actually from his fellow wrestlers.

When CM Punk was causing ructions with his very vocal contract antics in the ring, one thing he mentioned regularly was “when is Zack Ryder going to be put on TV?”. CM Punk, who was airing all his grievances with the company, felt it was such an obvious move to push his fellow wrestler that he made it part of his protest.

And since then, to the company’s credit, they’ve started to push him slowly but surely to the point where he’s actually getting some big matches. This week on RAW, he was in the headline event.

WWE were in Liverpool and I was happy about this for a few reasons. I had spoken in my last report about how the crowds of the current WWE are a lot quieter than previous generations. While European crowds are even quieter than their American counterparts, they are however great gauges of talent. They tend not to root just for the baby-face but for the guy who is actually doing a great job, whether they be heel or not.

For example, Dolph Ziggler has been working some great matches and getting over guys for quite some time now. Especially our man Zack. Zack’s mini-feud with Ziggler has been great to not only give him some momentum but also to give Ryder the in-ring time he sorely needed (dude was looking pretty rusty once he stepped through those ropes). Has Ziggler been getting any love from the crowd in the states? Hell no. But Liverpool started it’s own “Let’s go Ziggler” chant during his match with Morrison. The slow death of Morrison in the WWE may be another day’s discussion.

So Liverpool, you know who is worth chanting for. I like that. The “who are you?” chant for Alberto del Rio was also a highlight of the night. While del Rio is great in the ring, he’s absolutely horrible on the mic. CM Punk seems to back me up on that point. I may be old school in my thought process, but if you’re going to be followed around by a non-wrestling flunky, they should be able to cover your bad mic skills, not just stand in the background and introduce you to the crowd.

I seem to be rambling off the point. Anyway, what I was tyring to get to is that the fact that Zack Ryder was getting louder chants than John Cena during their tag-team match in the main event… our little broski has come along way.

John Cena, by the way, has also been a big supporter for Ryder. And while we all love to hate the guy, he at least had the smarts to tag Zack into the match early when the “we want Ryder” chants started. You could clearly see it changed the game-plan and I appreciate any wrestler who is willing to give the crowd want it wants even if it means you do a little less on the night.

While this is all great stuff for Ryder the wrestler… his YouTube show is suffering. I wonder how long before he gives it up? When you’re on TV regularly, the web show is going to get pushed to the background. But, I think he can live with that.