Too damn long.

Let’s watch this first proper taste of Avengers 2: Evil Android Boogaloo

– “It is… ALIVE!”

It’s hard to tell if this is Ultron’s first appearance in the film (everyone seems pretty shocked about it) or if it’s a return from being smashed up. Either way, it’s in bad shape.

By the way, did you see Rhodey in the background? Nice to see him hanging out with the big boys!

– No More Mu… I mean, Ultrons. No More Ultrons

Wanda Maximoff has a sordid history in the Marvel Universe. A lot of writers have been very cruel to her. It seems that her luck hasn’t changed much.

Having said that, this is Whedon. He knows how to write women (I recognise that’s a dumb phrase to say, but lord knows there are too many people out there who can’t write women properly). I’m sure The Scarlet Witch is going to have a great role to play in this story.

– Awwwwwww Yeeeeaaaaaaah

Lets face it. We were all dying to see this. The Hulkbuster suit.

People have been hinting at this thing happening since Iron Man 2. There are going to be a lot of nerdgasms.

– Fashion Tips From Comic Strips

Ok, so I know this is a tiny thing, and I recognise I’m a bit of a loser for spotting it but…

You may have seen an alteration to Hawkeye’s costume. No? His coat is longer and flaps about. Yeah, you see they gave him is old design:

Alright, alright. It’s not exactly the same but still, it’s little touches and references like this that makes this Marvel fanboy happy.

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Overall: While the trailer doesn’t give away an awful lot (still no Vision and who the hell is Andy Serkis?) but it still has lots of little details to digest (Cap’s broken shield and hey, look, it’s Andy Serkis!).

This movie is not a hard sell, we’re all dying to see it. As long as the trailers don’t damage that status, and this one certainly doesn’t, then Marvel are due to break records all over again.

Anyway, this is the monthly poll in which I, on behalf of the other DOOMsters, ask a question of utmost importance. I do this not to create needless banter, oh no. I do it in order to bring us all together in the finely honed art of being judgemental on the internet. It lets us feel better and someone else somewhere will cry as they find out they’re not popular and therefore insignificant and a waste of life. Beautiful.

Now, lets get down to business.

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Last month saw the battle of the catchy theme tunes. It was a tough call and a three way tie for a long time. But the winner has been crowned and I dub thee Prince of Fresh!

Parents may not understand but it’s obvious you guys do. Congratulations to him. Although I wish his kids would stop building an empire.

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This month sees the international release of Thor in cinemas. I’ve seen it… twice! And it has me super excited for the eventual release of The Avengers film next year. But the question is, of all the Avengers that will be in the film, who is your favourite?

ASSEMBLE!

NICK FURY

The Man bringing them all together. Anyone who was confused by the inclusion of Ultimate Nick Fury in the film franchise rather than the original silver streaked Nick quickly got over it once they saw that is was Samuel L. Jackson (lets use his full name people). Mr Jackson has more than enough cool of his own to play the secretive super spy. We haven’t seen him in action yet, but I’m hoping The Avengers rectifies that.

IRON MAN

I. Am. Iron Man. Nanananana Iron Man. Dooo dooo dooo di dooo. Yeah, he has the best song with his name in it (thanks Black Sabbath) but he also has a great movie and a good movie already behind him. He’ll be going into this team-up film with some swagger and a drinking problem. Endlessly cool. He even has his own side-kick in War Machine! It’s a shame Daddy Favs has left the franchise for the time being. We can only hope he changes his mind in time for Iron Man 3.

HULK

Me like Hulk so much, me will only talk like big bad Hulk while talk about Hulk. Ed Norton good man. Me like him. But Ed Norton still PUNY HUMAN. Ed Norton could not stay be Hulk. He too weak. Hulk has now eaten lots of actors. Marvel now give Hulk Mark Ruffalo to eat. Will Ruffalo survive Hulk’s SUPER TIGHT HUG? Hulk not know. Hulk like to hug. It make Hulk sad to see all these actors come and go. Hulk want one man to love forever. HULK CRY NOW!

THOR

Have thee seen Thor? Verily, this writer has… TWICE! Have I said that before? Well, one doth not like to show off but it is true. Stan Lee enjoyed writing the dialogue for Thor so much he still writes his faux Shakespearian text in his Twitter messages. It’s fun and it’s something that I hope the public takes to. I’d like all of these Marvel films to do well. But is the man who wields Mjolnir. For anyone wondering, Mjolnir is translated as “crusher”. Fun!

CAPTAIN AMERICA

When Captain America throws his mighty shield, all those who chose to oppose his shield must yield. If he’s led to a fight and a duel is due, then the red and white and the blue’ll come through when Captain America throws his mighty shield. Or something like that. I don’t think there is any possible way the movie could live up to my expectations (even if Chris Evans himself high-fived me during intro credits). But excited I am nonetheless. America, F*** Yeah!

HAWKEYE

Jeremy Renner will be playing Clint Barton. He’s the only Avenger going into this movie who isn’t getting his own film. It’s nice to have him included but with no powers (other than skill) will he be left in the shade by the other big hitters? Clint has always had a rocky relationship with the rest of the team, especially Cap. He’s a rogue. A maverick. A Jake Summers. But he’s still a good guy so lets hope he gets his moment to shine (and this moment doesn’t involve jet-packing into a Skrull ship).

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Assemble your favourite Avenger.

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