JJ and his amazing friend Jason are here to wish you a very Happy Halloween! Hey kids! Do you want to recreate the flavor of eating Play Doh? Well, JJ and Jason will help you with that! Do you want to know what kind of a man would defend a well known meth dealer? Better call JJ! How about what kind of show do you go to after you have just seen 1/2 of the remaining Beatles? Jason has the answer on this podcastiest holiday EVER!

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HAPPY HALLOWEEN! ! ! !

And with All Hallow’s Eve upon us I thought I would bring you a little Public Service Announcement.
And perhaps a message in Social Etiquette as well.
( What? Wait a second. Me?!? Offering tips in etiquette? Go figure. )

~And that being: Be careful who you invite to a party; as your guests or to those who may accompany you to a social event.

JJ and his amazing friend Jason are here this week with a spooooooky extravaganza guaranteed to knock you out of your…ah who are we kidding? Jason and JJ talk some about horror movies, some about the Iron Man trailer, and some about some other things as well. But this time it’s Halloweeeeeeeeeennnnnnn….boo, blah, blah!

Enjoy the holiday with the guy or ghoul of your choice and settle in for something creepy and filled with candy.

P.S. in case you read this and don’t listen to the podcast…Don’t go see Sinister. You will thank me.

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Pokémon is huge. There’s no two ways about it, it was huge 15 years ago and its still huge now. It’s a game of friendship, striving for greatness and becoming the very best like no one ever was. Recent events involving certain animal rights groups aside, this place has always been wholesome, welcoming and ultimately non-threatening. Or has it? Did you ever read a Pokédex entry and think it seemed a little off? Did you ever look at one of these creatures and think “How did you come to be?”

Well, my children, that’s what we’re here to do today as we look at the SCARIEST Pokémon to ever be discovered! To put you in the mood, play this little melody in the background. That’s right, the original Lavender Town music. Purported to have caused a rash of child suicides in the early days of the franchise, it is a shocking reminder that not only can your Pokémon not escape death, neither can you…

We’ll start with something from the first generation, the cute little bone-chucker, Cubone. Some of you might not be old enough to remember this but the tale of this poor little orphan is harrowing, especially in context of the Red/Blue games.

It pines for the mother it will never see again. Seeing a likeness of its mother in the full moon, it cries. The stains on the skull it wears are from its tears. It wears its mother’s skull, never revealing its true face.

In the course of the game, you come across a ghost that is revealed to be a Marowak murdered by Team Rocket. A truly horrible thought when you think about it but you’re not likely to read too deeply into it at a young age, you’re just trying to get to Cinnabar Island to use the Missingno cheat. Little orphan Cubone, you will always have a home in our hearts. And our storage boxes.

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I have arachnophobia but that doesn’t apply to this little cutie. Galvantula is one of my favourite of Gen5, and one of my favourite Electric types but its modus operandi is very sinister.

They employ an electrically charged web to trap their prey. While it is immobilized by shock, they leisurely consume it.

You think you were scared of spiders before, how about one that throws LIGHTNING? How about if it’s 2ft tall and 30lbs? Yeah, it’s pretty big and it will devour you. But despite how sinister and horrifying the motives of this creature, I can’t help but love his fuzzy design and over all cuteness and that, dear readers, is frightening.

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Here’s another cutie that can kill you (I’m starting to see a pattern with these Pokémon) Litwick is an adorable little sentient candle THAT WILL DEVOUR YOUR SOUL! It’s true! You look at him and make all the noise you’re supposed to, namely “D’awwww!” but take a look at it’s Pokédex entry.

Litwick appear to be helping to guide the way of people by illuminating areas that are darkened, but in reality they are actually leading them to the Ghost World. They feed off the life energy of people and Pokémon, and use it as fuel for the flames on their heads.

He tricks you into following him and slowly saps your soul! Geez, all this fire and brimstone from such an adorable little object. And that’s another thing, he’s like a little poltergeist thing, possessing an inanimate object and all. Weird. Cute, but weird.

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Gengar is arguably the most well known Ghost Pokémon. Namely because he looks like a ghostly version of Clefairy. Now if these Ghosts are indeed the souls of other dead Pokemon, can the same be applied to humans? When we die, are we also able to become Ghost Pokémon? The truth may surprise you…

These Pokémon arose from the spirits of people interred in graves in past ages. Each retains memories of its former life. Each of them carries a mask that used to be its face when it was human. Sometimes they look at it and cry.

Hoo-boy, Yamask‘s entry is a doozy. Human spirits becoming Pokémon, fine, I can let that slide but having them retain their memories? Having a little mask based on their face and crying at what they have lost and what they have ultimately become? Christ, this is some existential nightmare fuel, right here! It doesn’t help that these appear in an area rife with Cofagrigus, Yamask’s evolved form is known for trapping people inside itself and mummifying them. It’s a vicious cycle: Humans die, become Yamask, evolve into Cofagrigus and then consume more humans.

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So what do you think, folks? Are these entries spine-tingling or lacking bite? What are your favourite Pokédex entries, creepy or not. Let us know in the comments below!

JJ and his amazing friend Jason wish all of you the happiest and spookiest Halloween ever! The pair start off this week with JJ recalling his trip to watch Chris Hardwick and the boys of the Nerdist podcast on their recent visit to Portland. The two then whine a bit about the rest of the week. (it really sucked, yo) The pair then finish off the week with tales of Zombies, the best (yet never used well) monster, and flicks that they use to get in the Halloween spirit!

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PER JOHN’S REQUEST, A TRIBUTE ARTICLE TO CARTOONS OF MY YOUTH PAYING TRIBUTE TO ANCIENT PAGAN HOLIDAY

OR

THE BEST OF THE NICKTOONS HALLOWEEN SPECIALS

Hey there toonsters!  It’s October, and with it comes that special time of year for you to gather together with all of your love ones and scare the cranberries out of them.  That’s right, it’s Halloween time, and my favorite Halloween memories weren’t of dressing up in cool costumes, getting free candy, and dodging child molesters with their special “tootsie rolls”, no, my favorite Hallows eve memories were the CARTOONS! 

Really.  This is a cartoon-themed column, did you expect anything else?  If you did, stop being stupid.

Yes, ever October, most of my favorite cartoon shows would do very special episodes all dealing with the hijinks that ensue on this holiest of holy days.  Eek the Cat, Beetlejuice, A Pup Named Scooby-Doo, Bobby’s World, even Gargoyles all had Halloween specials.  Some great, some….eh…but the best ones were done by the none other than the Nicktoons.  Yep, Nickelodeon’s own original toons were the best when it came to the spooky shenanigans (Yeah I said shenanigans!  I don’t curse all the time you fucking twats).  Today I’m going to go over my six favorites.  This isn’t in any particular order, mostly because I don’t feel like ranking them, just know that they’re all great.

Doug: Doug’s Halloween Adventure

  We all remember Doug.  Okay most of us remember Doug.  While it didn’t have the cutsie appeal of Rugrats or the eye-popping and stomach churning animation of Ren and Stimpy, Doug holds the prestige of being the very first Nicktoon.  For those who don’t know, Doug was about 12-year-old Doug Funnie who was pretty average except for his overactive imagination.  Most of his problems were pretty mundane and down-to-earth like getting his first pimple and asking a girl to the dance, so you’d think his Halloween adventure would be equally mundane.  WRONG!  WRONG YOU HEAR ME!  Doug’s Halloween Adventure scarred the sweet little baby bejeezus out of me as a kid.  It’s starts off with Skeeter telling Doug the scary backstory of a new amusment park attraction, Bloodstone Manor, a ride through a real haunted house.  Doug, being to chicken shit, decides to keep him and Skeeter so occupied with trick-or-treating that the park closes before they get a chance to ride, but with some goading from Roger, the three sneak into the ride.  But things stop being fun when Roger disappears and Doug and Seketer must brave the horrors of Bloodstone Manor to find him.

This episode was great.  It struck the right balance of fun and creepy and had a great ending.  As good as Doug, there were times the show could get pretty mundane, but their Halloween special was hella-fun.

Angry Beavers: The Day The Earth Got Really Screwed-Up

Ah, the Angry Beavers.  A quirky, hip, little under appreciated gem of the 90’s.  The show was about two Beaver brothers named Norbert and Daggett who’ve moved out on their own and spend their days watching bad sci-fi movies, eating jalepenos, and getting into cartoony hijinks.  The show was great at lampooning everything from comic book superheroes to Woodstock, and for their Halloween episode they did a perfect send up of 1950’s sci-fi monster movies.  Norbert and Daggett are out trick-or-treating the night before Halloween, (to get a head start on all the candy),  and end up in the home of their favorite actor Oxnard Montalvo (pronounced:Montallllllllvo).    Unfortunately for them at the same time an alien entity has come to Earth and is using it’s power to take over the world by bringing all the monsters from Montalvo’s movies to life.  The Beavers end up living out their fanboy dreams as they must team with Montalvo to defeat evil alien guy thingy.

This episode was amazing.  Every little bit of the Angry Beavers trademark humor is there in prominence.  Nearly every joke is delivered with perfect delivery and features great physical humor and voice acting, especially by Tom Kane who voices Montalvo.  He’s so funny that you come out of this wishing they’s make a spin-off cartoon staring him.  It’s fun, it;s faced paced,   it’s one of the best episodes of the series, possibly the best.

Hey Arnold: Arnold’s Halloween

Hey Arnold was a great show.  It was similar to Doug, but did a lot more.  It was about a 9-year-old kid named Arnold with a football-shaped head living in New York city surrounded by a robust, colorful, and diverse cast of characters.  Their approach for a Halloween special was a very inspired one.  Arnold and Gerald decide to play a prank on the residents of Arnold’s boarding house by staging a fake radio broadcast to make them believe aliens have invaded Earth (sound familiar).  Their prank works…a  little too well.  Their signal is picked up by crackpot journalist Douglas Kane who mistakes the broadcast for real and sends the entire city into a panic, which does not bode well for Helga and the rest of the neighborhood kids who’ve dressed as aliens for Halloween.

  I remember taping this episode, back when VHS was still hip with the kids, because I wasn’t going to be home to see it.  I loved it then, and still love it now.  Before then I never heard of the Orson Wells War of the Worlds broadcast, so this was my introduction to it.  In fact, Maurice LaMarche voiced Kane in this episode using his famous Orson Wells voice.  This episode made the 9-year-old me want to pull off a hoax that big.  It’s a shame kids today would be pretty lost watching this episode, seeing as how no one knows what the hell a radio is anymore.

Rocko’s Modern Life: Sugar Frosted Fright

It’s a shame Rocko’s Modern Life never got as big as Rugrats or Spongebob, for it was a show truly ahead of it’s time.  The show about a wallaby named Rocko trying to cope with the absurdities of modern life in the 90‘s.  It ha great characters, great animation, a unique visual style, and so much hidden adult humor that it’ll take you years to get.  Rocko’s Halloween adventure see’s him and his pal Heffer take their neurotic friend Filburt out trick-or-treating for the very first time in his life, seeing as how he’d been scarred away from it with tales of dangerous candy and one-legged ghost soldiers.  When Filburt takes his first bite of sweet, sweet candy, he goes into sugar-induced rage and begins to consume everything that even looks like candy, leaving Rocko and Heffer to try to talk him down.

Rocko rarely had a bad episode and this was not one of them.  There are so many great bits, from the “creepy” intro, to Rocko/Bigman costume gag, to Filburt’s sugar rage, to the ending which has one of the funniest moments of the episode.  The second cartoon in the episode, Ed is Dead, is also good, but not as hilarious as this one.  Watch it if you can find it. 

Aaahh!!! Real Monsters: The Switching Hour

Fitting for a show about three young monsters training in the underground Monster Academy to learn how to better scare humans, that their first episode be a Halloween episode.  The Switching Hour introduces us to the hidden world of the monsters and our three main character: Ickis, Krumm, and Oblina.  In the episode, our main characters, though forbidden to by their headmaster The Gromble, go out to scare on Halloween night.  Through a quick mix-up, Ickis ends up trading places with a boy named Bradley who’s costume resembled Ickis.  Now Ickis has to find a way to get back to the Academy while Bradley has to pose as a monster to keep from being detected by The Gromble and the brutal disciplinarian The Snorch.

For Halloween episode, only the first thrid of it takes place during Halloween.  The rest takes place after, but I still felt compelled to include it.  It’s a good episode that sets the tone for the series nicely, and offers some fun little bits along the way, like Ickis trying to get through a day in human school.

Invader Zim: Halloween Spectacular of Spooky Doom

Practically every episode of Invader Zim could be a Halloween episode.  This dark comedy by Jhoen Vasquez was about an incompetent alien named Zim trying to conquer the Earth.  The show had a lot of dark and horrible imagery and subject matter, so really there wasn’t much of anything different they could do for a Halloween episode.  In the episode, Zim learns of Halloween and prepares to defend himself against the “candy zombies”.  At the same time, Dib accidentally opens a portal to a nightmare dimension located in his freakishly large head, that’s trying to claw it’s way into reality.  Dib and Zim get sucked in and must work together to stop the nightmare creatures from getting loose…which doesn’t go very well seeing as how they both screw each other over first chance they get.

Like I said, this episode isn’t much different from the rest of the series, but it’s still great.  It ha great animation, especially on some of the monsters, the jokes hit way more than they miss, especially all the jokes about Dib’s supposedly gigantic head, and GIR as always has some great bits.  This is definitely one of the best episodes of the series, go watch it.  Hell, just watch the whole series, it’s a perfect Hallows eve watch.

So there you have it, the best the Nickelodeon had to offer when it came to Halloween.  Other Nicktoons have done their Halloween episode as well like Rugrats, Spongebob, and Fairly OddParents, and their live-action shows had some great ones too, most notably Adventures of Pete and Pete, but these are the ones that stuck with me the most.

If you can track ‘em down, or if they end up airing on Nickelodeon or on the new 90‘s Are All That block on The N, kick back, grab a big bowl of candy preferably without razorblades in it, and watch because you’re too old to trick-or-treat so you’ve got nothing better to do.

See you next time, and Happy Halloween!

I still record stuff on VHS tape. Yes, I still have a VCR player. It’s in good condition, and still even has the colour coded stickers I placed beside several buttons, when I left instructions on how to record Dawson’s Creek while I ventured to America – eleven years ago. I’m fond of those stickers. Now, I can kind of guess what you’re thinking. Yep. Dawson’s Creek. Hey, don’t knock it! It was wonderfully written. The show had charm, and the theme was, well, see for yourself!

After having so much fun reveiwing The Thing, I’m attempting it again, this time with found VHS footage from the 80s. No, it’s not a review of Road Kill: Caught on Tape, but the next installment of the now-seasonal Halloween franchise, Paranormal Activity.

Paraspoilers ahead!

Behold, the trailer for the second sequel which is also a prequel of an original movie which was filmed in the director’s own house!

– ‘Katie, Kristi, say hi to the camera.’

Oh, and Katie, see your sister – she’s going to marry a guy who’ll try to save his wife by passing over the demon onto you. You’ll kill your partner, then your sister’s husband, then your sister. And steal their baby. That’s right, YOU’RE A BABY STEALER!

– I want my baby back, baby back.

Ribs.

This just popped into my head.

… Sorry.

– ‘Do the knock again.’

In the 90s I once tried to start a new dance craze called, the Knock. It unfortunately came to nothing – and got me barred from several establishments. But at this point in the trailer, I’m already getting that freaked out feeling. I’m a wuss. (What did you expect from a fan of Dawson’s Creek.) She’s knocking on the mirror… and something is replying!

– ‘Oh my god’

Aerobatics on show. Nice balance. Fine technique. Good jump.  An 8.5, easy. Kind of freaky, too.

– ‘Have the protocol droid’s mind wiped.’

‘He’s my friend, insists Kristi.

In PA1, it’s noted that something happened to the sisters when younger. In PA2, Katie mentions how she remembers Kristi crying all the time, and Kristi says she hardly recalls anything at all. Just how traumatic must the events in this film be to wipe their memories?

– ‘He’s standing right next to you.’

Difficult to capture this sequence in images. In an effort to prove a point, Kristi hurls a glass of water which collides with something standing next to them. The stool then goes one way, the bed moves and objects go flying.

Sod that!

– That drawing is rubbish!

Look at it! It’s naff!

– Head banging against the table.

Which, coincidentally, steals a page from my aforementioned failed dance craze. This guy starts being attacked by the demon. Looks like this installment is throwing away all subtleness and just going for it now.

– ‘Did you hear that? It’s ok.’

Um, no it bloody isn’t. There’s a malevolent demon out to get us… and it’ll continue for two more films!

– ‘Just get in the car and drive.’

Dammit, dad, mum’s doing her Frankenstein routine again!

No, it’s not some ill-timed humour by their mother, but the unfortunate parent being yanked off her feet. It’s grainy, blurry, and VHS-y. I liiike it!

– To sum up.

I’m game. Expect more of the same from this installment, which isn’t a negative comment. You know what you’re getting. Some shocks, some jiggly camera work, and Oren Peli, the writer/director of the first film gratefully still remains involved. Minus his house.

Future title idea: Para4mal Activity!

Get it?

Anyone?

No?

Dust.

JJ and his amazing friend Elizabeth record on a laptop this week as one of JJ’s mic cables goes on to the great cable storage unit in the sky. Undeterred, the pair move forward once more into the podcast breach! At first, the conversation veers not only toward the Occupy movement, but also to protests that JJ and Elizabeth have attended in the past. Even one story of how they missed the pepper spray by mere minutes. Eventually the pair are moved by the season and have a brief discussion of the horror flicks they intend to watch this season, and ones they recommend to others. All this plus news on the current status of the Classic Movie Club! Not bad for an hour, eh?

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JJ and his amazing friend Jason are back to pump words directly into your ear holes! JJ is feeling rather ranty this week, but he does his best to keep it in check. However, JJ does share a tale of how a recent encounter with a bank has changed the way he looks at the financial divide. In an attempt to control his ranty mood, JJ turns to twitter to get questions for our duo to tackle. Do they eek out satisfactory answers? Listen to find out!

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Did you guys miss me? Thanks to John for filling in last month during my Dragon*Con absence. But daddy is back. Lets do this!

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Congratulations for September’s winner… Scream! You all decided that the Scream films were much better than all those other scary movies. And also better than Scary Movie.

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This month it’s Halloween! So our question is simple… Are you going to be dressing up for the big night?

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If so, make sure to let us know what costume you’re going to wear!