DJ and Kasey play WWE2K14.

Hell In A Cell: HB-Gay (very creative DJ) vs. Stone Cold (Kasey knows he missed out on an opportunity for Stone Cold Fox). This should have been posted like 2 months ago, but y’know. Stuff and things.

DJ as Shawn Michaels

Kasey as “Stone Cold” Steve Austin

Merry Christmas!

We still just dick around and aren’t actually reviewing the game. We’re professionals.

Here we are. Six. Six Fast and Furious films. Bloody hell.

I saw the first one in the cinema because I too once was a teenager and just needed to get out of the house at the weekends. I too once thought that Vin Diesel would be a big thing. But I’m older now and have grown smarter than such things. I would have thought that the rest of the world would have grown with me but I guess there’s always more teenagers looking for something to do on the weekends.

Harsh? Perhaps. The previous films have been very hit-and-miss. When they work, the F&F franchise is good popcorn chewing fun. When they don’t, they’re mindless drivel. So when Fast & Furious pulls off the double-trilogy, all is not well in Denmark Hollywood.

Here is the extended 3 minute trailer.

– Who is the bad guy?

With the previous criminals helping out the police, it’s reasonable to ask. Well, the answer is quite obviously, Batman.

Maybe now that the Nolan films are done they were able to re-use some of their old props.

– Paul Walker

Just look at his big stupid head.

When these films began he was supposed to be the big star of the future. Man, who would want to live in that universe? Paul Walker, I would assume.

– $%!? just got real

Ho, ho, ho, now I have a tank.

And what could be more crazy than that?

– Oh, I see…

Fine. Be like that.

———————————————————————————————-

I have to say, this looks like it could be fun. Completely ridiculous fun. It’s hard to understand why they still insist on shoe-horning in the theme of street racing into the plot though. F&F6 looks like a standard, A-Team-style crime adventure. Maybe it has evolved into something more.

In what has become an unstoppable growing beast of promo on RAW, the John Cena vs. The Rock match at Wrestelemania is building up with aplomb. We all expected this to happen, in what was an unusual step, they announced the match a year ago. They’re obviously hoping this “generation versus generation” fight will sell some Pay-Per-View tickets. What we probably weren’t expecting though was how this promo battle has been going.

For one, it has been much more personal than anyone could have realized.

If you have been listening to any interviews from wrestlers over the last few years, it is pretty obvious that the majority of the locker room has a real problem with retired wrestlers coming back for one big pay cheque at Wrestlemania, stealing what they consider to be their spot/limelight. It’s understandable. These guys on the roster do regular work everynight at house shows and tapings week in and week out having to endure all the troubles of life on the road. If someone who doesn’t do that work turns up and steals the show at a big event… it would stick in your craw.

John Cena has gone on record to say this sort of thing in the past and, in what seems to be an ever increasing trend on RAW, has decided to shoot about this in his build up to Wrestlemania. This is a brave move for a couple of reasons. First of all the fans love Rock, and considering Cena’s already rocky relationship with the crowd (no pun intended) they could have turned on him further. The WWE still don’t want a heel Cena. It’s also brave because Rock isn’t a wrestler any more. He doesn’t need this. He has legitimately become bigger than the WWE and if you push his buttons enough, one can only assume he won’t come back. So I have to say, I thought it was ballsy of Cena to take this angle and I did not expect that from a guy who has been sailing along for quite some time in the company.

But most of all, what no-one saw coming is that Rock is losing. Badly.

Like I said before, Dwayne Johnson is no longer a wrestler. He’s a successful movie star. And, concordantly, he’s rusty in the ring. It was evident two weeks ago when he came back and did a rather meandering, boring promo. It was even more evident when Cena pipe-bombed him with the comment about the notes written on Rock’s wrist.

This was embarrassing for all involved. It was clear that it has also hit a nerve with Rocky. He was flustered and visibly agitated directly afterwards and this week on RAW stepped up his game. Unfortunately his game is still sidelined to pre-recorded pieces but these taped sections genuinely reminded me of the Rocky of old. Attitude era cursing and all.

As a side note: I don’t mind the cursing at all and in a way I miss it a little but it really stood out on a show that has been doing it’s best to stay kid friendly. The fact that they let Rock away with it so much goes to show the amount of sway he has with Vince and must have been something Rock argued for.

So at the moment it definitely seems like Rock’s back is against the wall. There is more than just a big money match at stake here. Essentially it’s Rock’s reputation on the line now. At the moment he’s looking foolish in front of the fans that adore him but as everyone knows, WWE fans are some of the most fickle in the world. That adoration could turn to derision very quickly unless he improves quickly. Wrist memos and taped segments on the street are not going to cut it.

It’s going to make for a very interesting run up to Wrestlemania.

That’s right, boys and girls! Because you’ve been very good all year, Tease Me, Baby gives you the gift that keeps on giving; a kick-ass trailer for a testosterone-fueled movie!

GI Joe: Rise of Cobra earned lukewarm reviews on its release but in this humble reviewers opinion, it was just a fun movie. Granted, I know next to nothing about GI Joe as a franchise bar a few names and seeing the animated movie when I was young but I thought the first live action outing embraced the silliness of the material and delivered a light-hearted if somewhat flawed romp.

Cut to today and we’ve been given the trailer for it’s sequel which offers more action, more Joe-ness, and Dwayne “Boots to Asses” Johnson. The basic plot of the movie smacks of the A-Team as the Joes are framed for a crime they did not commit by the President (Secretly Zartan, an undercover agent for Cobra, directly following a plot point in the previous film). The Joes that remain after a brutal attack are charged with clearing their names and kicking Cobra square in the nards along the way. As usual, I’ll pick out some highlights and then offer my opinion on the trailer as a whole. The music is a remix of Seven Nation Army by the White Stripes and the more I listen to it, the most I hate it. I get why it was chosen but another theme would have been preferable.

“You will call me Commander!”

Fresh out of whatever prison Storm Shadow busts him out of in the trailer, we see CC sporting a fresh face-plate that brings to mind his animated counterpart which is a huge step up from that burn victim mask he donned for all of five seconds in the last movie. We see him conspiring with President Zartan and Ray Stevenson, playing a character called Firefly.

See no evil, speak no evil

Ray Park returns as the mute Snake-Eyes and this time he’s got a sidekick in the form of Jinx, a female ninja with a penchant for fighting blind. Literally. There’s an impressive set piece later in the trailer featuring these two in a mountain-side ninja fight which looks particularly impressive. I think we can all agree that the Cliffhanger would have been a far better movie if it had ninjas in it.

The Rock bottom line.

Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson has been a big supporter of the project since he joined to play heavy weapons specialist, Roadblock. With a steady stream of behind the scenes info and pictures, he’s been the guy to follow during development. He seems to have had a blast filming and he seems to be taking a major role in the movie, seemingly leading the remaining Joes in their secret war against Cobra.

In her satin tights, fighting for your rights and the old Red, White and Blue.

Fresh off the set of the failed Wonder Woman series, Adrianne Palicki play Lady Jaye. This films designated totty, she’s a rough and tough Joe who looks great in a dress and…. And…. Dammit all, can I address her mole? It’s not noticeable in motion (She’s also wearing a slinky dress, further distracting the eye) but for a screenshot, all I can see is that mole. Mole! Bloody mole! I don’t want to be talking about the bloody mole, but there’s a bloody mole winking me in the face. GAH!

Mass Hiss-teria!

The most grabbing image of the trailer is the Cobra insignia being unfurled over the White House, revealing the true power behind the President in what is probably the third act of the movie. It’s a striking image and I can’t help but hum the GI Joe theme tune when I see it.

So that’s GI Joe: Retaliation and I enjoyed the hell out of it. The first movie was an enjoyable yet flawed movie and this second outing appears to fix some of what fans complained about first time round. I’m going out on a limb and I’m saying this is a close second to The Avengers for my most anticipated movie of 2012. What did you guys think of the trailer? Let us know bin the comments below. After all, knowing is half the battle!