Friends, Doomites, countrymen and women and those of other countries as well, let us discuss Ender’s Game. I first read Ender’s Game about fifteen years ago. It was suggested by a friend and I had little to no expectations from it, as the two of us did not always share the same tastes in entertainment. Imagine my surprise then, when I got a story of a young boy who, in order to stop himself from bulling, created a whole new way to think of combat and warfare. It presented a government so burned by an act of violence that it spent every resource it had, including it’s children to such a thing from ever happening again. As an American living in a world before our government spent over a decade of war based on a single act of violence, it seemed fantastical indeed and was written well enough to sweep me into narrative and it’s tale of Ender Wiggin.

Time has passed now, and as I stated, the idea of an obsessive government is not as far fetched as it once was, and the author of Ender’s Game has turned out to be a horrible homophobic dickbag that goes out of his way to repress the rights of humans that he disagrees with. Personally, I am not sure I can be swept away in this story anymore, but I still am hopeful that a movie that has lived in development hell for almost two decades can still make me care about the story again.

Let’s watch that traler..

Hoo Boy. Well, that happened. Here are some thoughts:

– Captain So Low

I imagine Harrison Ford felt a little odd standing at the exact same window that Luke, Leia, R2-D2, and C-3PO were standing at when they went to go find his frozen ass.

– Whose Movie Is It, Anyway?

Thank heavens Tony Stark made his new armor so…spacious. I always felt claustrophobic watching those other suits.

– Gotta Catch ‘Em All

Seriously people, pick a movie to steal from! I think this shot is stolen from JJ Abrams Star Trek!

– It’s Ending Time!

At last we have found the secret breeding ground of the Mighty Power Ranger. Look at them in their natural habitat. I have always wanted to watch them graze. Oh, look one in the back looks almost ready to start morphin’ soon!

– Jeebus, My Freakin’ Eyes!

This probably upsets me the most. This training room is where many of the key moments in this film should happen. It is in this room Ender finds a whole new way of thinking. I ask you, can you tell what shit is in this room. Imagine the inevitable 3-D…It is over saturated with CGI and your eyes can’t focus on anything. Didn’t we learn anything from George Lucas? Too many effects look cheap, simple.

Look at the difference between Pan’s Labyrinth and Attack Of The Clones, which one stays with you?

I rest my case.

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Overall: So it looks like the guy who last gave us Wolverine Origins is giving us a by the numbers regurgitation of every sci-fi film that has come out in the last 5-10 years. Hooray.

I want to be wrong, I want to love it, but this preview looks sterile, and vapid.

How sad.