Well, this was originally going to be two separate reviews but DOOM had some log-in issues so I couldn’t post until today (mucho thanks to Editor-in-chief John for fixing the issue) so I guess it’s another double-bill of reviews but I did write a full review last week so I guess I only have to do half the work?

Well, if you wanted something half-arsed, look no further than Gone Rogue because OH BOY, the good will that was going to run out eventually. For a split second, I thought something dramatic was going to happen but here we are; a couple days late and little-to-no motivation to continue this show outside of obligation.

Did you know that this episode is the first of this show to feature the word Rogue in the title and not have Wentworth Miller? Because I certainly felt his absence! These jobber Rogues (yeah, I love Troy Jones/Phil Lamarr as Ragdoll but still…) aren’t really a threat and for saying she’s on a dark path, Nora still acts like she’s a lost puppy.

The one moment I actually applaud the episode for is when Cisco is laughing in her face at this pathetic excuse of a heel turn and she goes full ThawneWells vibro-hand on him. That is good stuff! She’s using knowledge of a former ally’s trauma to get her way in the most sadistic way possible! It’s great character work and it’s fucking wasted in this episode!

It reminds of that one scene with FutureBarry/Savitar where it seems like he might actually be open to being talked down but then he reveals it was for shits and giggles (and padding to fill out the episodes) and I’m feeling just as pissed because Nora hasn’t turned heel at all. She’s just using these techy Rogues to rob a place with a meta-dampener.

Flash Fact: McCulloch Technologies, and the Mirror Gun, is a reference to Evan McCulloch, the second Mirror Master. Additionally, the Jenni Ognats identity is a reference to the comic incarnation of XS who is a member of the Legion of Super Heroes.

So yeah, naturally the Rogues betray Nora forcing her dad to step-in and save her in, admittedly, a fun twist using image inducers. The Rogues are beaten and jailed and, naturally, the West-Allen family are reunited and now using Thawne’s plan to stop Cicada II.

Speaking of; Cicada II is related to this episode in a way because she steals the meta-cure from frozen base Cisco developed it in. I can’t remember how she knew where it was but they were more focused on making light of Ralph’s original status as Caitlin’s love interest before Danielle Panabaker put the kibosh on that plot.

But yeah, the meta-cure, coupled with the ice mcguffin from last episode, can be used to spread the meta-cure across Central City and we see Cicada II modifying the device to do just that… while her beloved uncle watches on. I honestly didn’t twig this was just her psychosis until this week’s The Girl With The Red Lightning.

The penultimate episode of the season starts to kick into maximum over-medium pace and we get the final confrontation with Cicada (can’t believe I didn’t come up with ‘Shecada’ or that it took this long for the show to) as she tries to activate her ultimate weapon that will kill every meta in the country.

It’s a pretty small-stakes end to the season-long big bad but everyone on Team Flash gets to have a go and there’s a couple interesting choreographed spots but the aftermath is the real meat.

Also, shout-out to Killer Frost with the best burn of the season!

Throughout the episode, Ralph is wondering aloud about what Thawne’s plan is because if “his plans have plans”, then what the hell does all this mean? And it’s a legit question, shame it’s brought about AFTER we see that Thawne’s timer has run out so it’s obvious that this has all been to spring him. I’m shocked. SHOCKED.

Well, not that shocked. But I’ll probably need this plan explained to me because this time travel plot is ropier than Avengers: Endgame’s explanation! Ha! Topical…

Nora with the Good Lightning is a better episode than Gone Rogue objectively but I was still mostly non-plussed, as all this rushed build-up reeks of last season’s fucking about until the penultimate episode formula. Which is a shame because I should be hyped for Thawne’s return but that was always inevitable and I’m certainly not invested in the Nora/Shecada plot soooo…

I dunno, next week’s finale is going to be an interesting watch. I have to wonder if they’ll finally go back to a speedster villain season since these two were interesting premises that ultimately fell on their respective arses and with a lot of chatter with people leaving after this season, we’ll have to see what the future holds and what will become of The Flash’s Legacy.

Hi, guys, and welcome to Season 5 of everybody’s favourite cynical look at everyone’s favourite scarlet speedster! Season 5 hits the ground running, picking up exactly where Season 4 left off, with the arrival of Nora West-Allen, Barry and Iris’ daughter from the future!

Oh, you sweet, sweet child. Thank you for gracing us with your presence. It’s been too long since someone had some bloody enthusiasm and wonder in this show and I’m so glad that Jessice Parker Kennedy is giving Nora a tangible sense of hype just to be near Barry. She’s certainly her father’s daughter too, inheriting a selfish irresponsibility that is uniquely Barry Allen.

I do like that they retread the cryptic newspaper headline and show it’s follow-up to justify Nora’s desire to risk breaking time just to spend time with her dad. It’s very humanising and while I’m clearly biased in letting her away with it, Nora hasn’t erased children from existence with her actions. Yet. If she does, THEN I’ll lay into her just like I do with Barry.

Flash Fact: Nora’s future knowledge reveals a ton of neat easter eggs but, personally, my favourites are her future vocabulary. ‘Schway’, said during a rather awkward coffee break with Iris, is the new ‘cool’ and is actually a slang term from the Batman Beyond animated show. ‘Grife’ is from even further in the future, originating in the year 3000 and being a term associated with the Legion of Super Heroes. One of it’s members, Lightning Lad, is mention in the aforementioned coffee break and the Legion has even appeared in last season’s Supergirl!

I’m glad that Hartley Sawyer is joining the cast full-time and his numerous epiphanies throughout the episode are both hilarious and nice little fourth wall breaks like mentioning he could have died in another timeline, which he actually did, pre-Flashpoint.

I’m also digging that it seems Ralph is going to be helping Caitlin dig deeper into the disappearance of Killer Frost, even managing to show that her father’s death certificate is faked. Looking forward to seeing how this plot line develops further.

Flash Fact: The non-existent coroner, Cameron Mahkent, is the identity of Golden Age Flash villain, Icicle. A very nICE nod to Caitlin’s powers, if I do say so.

And the last thing I want to mention is the new suit, designed by my favourite Atom; Ryan Choi! I don’t like the new suit. It makes Grant Gustin look like a right lanky streak of piss and it’s so plain! Yeah, the other suits weren’t bang-on for the comic version but they looked pretty damn good! We even get to see two back-ups in this episode and they look way better than this version but I suppose it’ll grow on me throughout the season. It’s great that Barry finally has the iconic ring, though!

Overall, Nora is a brilliantly fun way to kick off the new season and I hope that the new villain, briefly seen towards the end of the episode, will be just as complex and menacing as The Thinker. Come back next time and see if the show continues to be good or if it’s going to get Blocked.

Run, Iris, Run might share a thematic similarity to last week’s Enter Flashtime, in as much as this is a story that could be pulled right out of the silver age of comics, but is so poorly paced that no single plot element really has a chance to fully develop.

Take for instance the crux of this episode; Matthew Kim aka Melting Point (played by Leonardo Nam who you might remember as the put-upon lab tech Felix in Westworld). This bus meta’s power is to transfer meta-abilities between hosts and seems to have a strong sense of right and wrong. With his ability, Matthew takes the flame powers of a would-be bank robber because he ‘doesn’t deserve them’.

He feels that metahumans have a responsibility to go with their great powers and he can make sure the system kinda regulates that, switching powers to those who he feels worthy. It’s a neat idea and his day job as an EMT certainly paints him as someone who wants to do good but we get basically no time with him in this episode.

In the B-plot, Harry wants to build a device similar to DeVoe’s thinking cap, which everyone agrees is a good idea… Except Cisco. I mean, he does have a valid point that DeVoe has clearly been sent mad by using it but we know he’s going to help anyway so unfortunately, a good ten minutes is devoted to this plot point going round in circles until Cisco relents.

Finally, we come to Iris gaining Barry’s speed thanks to Matthew’s abilities and it couldn’t come at a more convenient time because, for some reason, Ralph has decided to be a massive tool to Iris about being the non-powered woman in the chair. It’s such a bullshit conflict that serves no purpose than to make Ralph look like an asshole and to make Iris look weak when SHE apologises to HIM by the end of the episode.

Iris using the opportunity to prove to herself that she still has her courage is a good motivation for her this episode though. Ever since Savitar, she has been a lot less gung-ho, preferring to stay in the cortex as the team’s coordinator/leader and who is paying this woman? She doesn’t have a job, Barry doesn’t have a job… who is paying for their apartment? Hrm…

Anyway, with less of a field role, Iris has been feeling complacent and Ralph’s out of character comments got under her skin so she revels in having super speed, something we haven’t seen Barry do in a while. She gets a short amount of training before her first mission which goes pretty good, despite her getting trapped under concrete.

Barry, meanwhile, is doing an amazing job of being supportive while also having a massive moan. We get it, you feel inadequate, you should! I would rather watch any other speedster than you, Barry.

Iris, naturally, gets a costume and I do like that it incorporates the motorcycle jacket she was wearing earlier in the episode and that despite both her and Barry’s reservations in switching roles, they both perform admirably and take out a firenado while also nabbing Matthew Kim in the process.

In the end, everything is reset to how it was and now they have another meta they will inevitably lose for stupid-drama reasons.

I really wish the Matthew and Iris elements of the plot were given more time to breathe. More time talking to Matthew about the whys and wherefores of his creed and more time training Iris, giving her some valuable combat experience. Overall, just a touch over mediocre.

Flash Facts will be on a break until April 11th when we’ll see the return of Kevin Smith as director and I’ll be hoping the episode won’t leave me Null and Annoyed.

Enter Flashtime is probably the best episode this show is had in a while because it’s a classic The Flash plot straight out of the comics. A nuclear bomb detonates and Flash spends the entire episode figuring out how to stop it while the seconds slowly tick by.

The villain du jour is Veronica Dale, leader of eco-terrorist group, Eden Core. She gets next to nothing in terms of motivation or speaking lines in the show while her comic counterpart left more of an impact by killing Oliver Queen!

Assisting Barry is the returning Jesse Quick and Jay Garrick. I did love Barry’s little quip about Wally, since he’s now running around with the Legends (something I hope continues and he gets more to do in that show than he did here)

Jesse’s main reason for returning to Earth-1 is to get her dad to open up about her mother, the one we have yet to be introduced to though we do hear echoes of her voice via telepathy in a rather touching scene that demonstrates just how hard it is for Harry to talk about her death.

Flash Fact: The equation featured predominantly on the Speed Lab’s writing board, 3×2(9yz)4A, is an equation/mantra that Jesse’s comic counterpart inherited from her father, Johnny Quick, and allowed them both to access the Speed Force.

Jay’s presence is as an additional advisor and to cut Barry’s dumb ideas down, especially when they involve the destruction of the Speed Force. I don’t care how much you hate Thawne, Barry, Jay is not letting you take his speed, you little shit.

Using the technique he used in the courtroom a few episodes ago, Barry is able to communicate one-on-one with his closest allies and is a nice chance for some bonding and character pieces.

The solution to the problem is classic Flash; a hail mary pulled from the deepest part of his scarlet underoos. Grabbing the speed McGuffin that was tricking the Speed Force into thinking Barry was being held within it’s prison, Barry throws it at the nuclear explosion causing it to destablise and just vanish? Yeah, that’s a real old school comics way of dealing with a problem but given how it fits perfectly in with the episode’s vibe as a whole, I can forgive it.

Barry is laid up in the aftermath, his speed utterly spent and promising to take it easy so that sets up next week’s episode. Jay also announces his retirement but he won’t leave Earth-3 sans speedster, promising to train up a female replacement! To my knowledge, Jay never had children so it’s up in the air as to who this could be but there’s been a couple female speedsters debut in the past few years so maybe it’s one of them!

We also get another cameo from Mystery Girl, being decidedly more sinister than previous appearances. Not sure why, maybe she has beef with Frost and Wells? I guess we’ll find out eventually!

Overall, this was a pretty good, stand-alone episode that could have taken place anywhere in the season but allows a nice breather from all this Thinker nonsense. Next week, we go Freaky Friday as Iris and Barry’s “We’re The Flash” mantra takes on a whole new twist in Run, Iris, Run!

Subject 9 has one good scene and that is it. The rest is the usual fare you’ve come to expect from this season so let’s run through this shit.

Devoe’s still being vague about his long-term plan, even though he needs to accelerate it due to acquiring the powers of most of the bus metas and dumping them into poor Becky Sharpe’s body. As much as I liked Sugar Lyn Beard’s performance as the bubbly luck manipulator, she can’t be menacing in the least and I did like that this week’s meta du jour didn’t take her seriously either.

We also have a side-story about Harry and Cecile bonding and it’s probably the weakest pairing I’ve seen in a while. I think playing the extroverted HR then going back to the stoic, beliggerent Harry has messed Tom Cavanagh up a bit because he’s dialled it back too far to the point where Harry can barely speak to Cecile. It’s just weird and that’s a shame because I like both actors.

I should give a special shout-out to Miranda MacDougall, playing Izzy Bowin, for delivering a great performance over all. This is her first role outside of the short film she starred in and she knocked it out of the park, playing a genderbent southern belle version of obscure Flash villain; The Fiddler.

She did an amazing job and acted really well alongside Hartley Sawyer’s Ralph Dibny and I would have liked to have seen her become a recurring character but, alas – “fuck being interesting”, this show says.

The scene I was referring to earlier was Izzy, after going off half-cocked to fight DeVoe, getting mind-swapped in front of Ralph and Barry. Enclosed in the same force field that held Barry (that I’m almost certain Barry can vibrate through because he escaped) and without the fiddle she used as a focus with her power, she succumbs to DeVoe’s mind transfer, all the while Ralph tearfully tells her to focus on him, repeatedly. It’s awful to watch, especially when DeVoe rubs Ralph’s nose in it afterwards, planning to make good use of his new body.

I wish we’d gotten more time with Izzy but what we did get formed enough of a connection, to make it gross and awful and DeVoe into even more of a terrible person. Something that’s been escalating more and more recently.

Oh, and Barry is out of a job for now. Until people are convinced the DeVoe who rolled into the courtroom is the real one. So I guess we can say goodbye to Barry’s job at CCPD and we can expect more hijinks with Ralph.

Overall, a extremely mediocre episode with only a couple things I can really say I liked. Next week promises big things as a nuclear bomb goes off in Central City and the Flashes of three worlds must unite to save it in Enter Flashtime.

HAAAAA! Puns, I’ve got them! I’ve not felt this good about an episode of The Flash since last season so excuse me if I gush a little. Elongated Journey Into Night introduces two new characters and is the second episode directed by our boy Tom Cavanaugh (the other being The Once and Future Flash), which probably explains why it was really fun!

We’ll get the boring stuff out of the way first: after the shocking revelation of Cecile’s pregnancy, Joe spends a lot of the episode being defensive, flinching at the word baby and insisting that he isn’t ‘glowing’ but after being held at gunpoint by Mayor Bellows, he just blurts it out and is actually fine with it? Did we miss a scene where he actually worked through his feelings? Hm, odd but breaking out the cigars is a nice little celebration’ one shared by Legends of Tomorrow with the birth of Professor Stein’s grandchild!

In the B-plot, Cisco gets a shocking visit from Gypsy’s father, Breacher, and spends the rest of the episode trying to either win his favour or survive his wrath. Danny Trejo is a delight but his no-nonsense character doesn’t really use him to his fullest potential though there are some hilarious line deliveries. This brilliant little sub-plot Cisco finally wins Breacher’s respect (but not his affection) by standing up to him in defence of an innocent meta which brings us to…

Ralph Dibny! Waheeeeeey! An endearing character in the Justice league mythos and Hartley Sawyer is just the goofy-looking weirdo to bring the character to life. His history with Barry is a good conflict and while he is known to break rules, we know he does it for the right reasons, something Barry cops to later since they frequently lock up metas without trial (not to mention those couple guys Barry merced in season 2).

Ralph’s elasticated body is suitably disgusting and gross-looking to emphasise the silly-putty analogy and isn’t too bad considering the TV budget.

Flash Fact: The bottle of Gingold in Ralph’s office is a nod to his comic book origin where that drink is the reason for his elastic abilities.

Overall, a really enjoyable episode, especially after the last couple and hopefully the good times will continue to roll when the ladies of Team Flash and Team Arrow have a Girls Night Out!

Attack on Gorilla City is the long-awaited return of a fair few characters and gives us plenty of fun moments but it definitely feels like set-up more than it’s own thing.

Not so much Attack on Gorilla City as a Stumble into Gorilla City or a Wander through Gorilla City because we see very little of Gorilla City life but hey, TV budgets and for what we got it looked pretty good.

I’m glad we’re getting a two parter out of this too because Solovar is voiced by the sexiest voice on any Earth, Keith David and we got fuck all of those golden pipes here. You don’t get motherfuckin’ Goliath on your show and then waste him. It’d be like if Tony Todd had all of 3 lines as Zoom!

Meanwhile, in teen hormone corner, Wally and Jesse are having relationship problems that are solved by the end of the episode but will be reappearing because, guess what? Jesse Quick has her own Earth to protect! We haven’t seen any other heroes from Earth-2 so she’s obviously not going to stick around and that’s sad, not because we’ll be down a speedster…

But because we’ll be down another Wells and god damn do we need more Tom Cavanagh. He plays three distinct roles tonight and carries it off with aplomb!

The episode ends with the status quo seemingly restored while Grodd amasses his troops for war with Gypsy by his side. How? Why? I guess we’ll find out when this two-pater concludes next week with the Attack on Central City!

I don’t think that’s hyperbole because while this episode is pulling double duty as the penultimate episode of the crossover and as Arrow’s 100th episode; it pulls it off with aplomb. It’s very much an episode of two halves though so I’ll kick off with the B-plot that continues tying into the Heroes vs. Aliens plot.

While Oliver and Company (nice little reference there, Cisco!) are missing, Team Arrow, and Cisco, rushes to find them by chasing down a piece of tech they need that was recently stolen by one Laura Washington. Not a character I recognise but has more than a passing resemblance to Cyborgirl —  a villainous distaff counterpart to the Teen Titan, Cyborg.

Something they make a big deal out of is Wild Dog’s aversion to metas and aliens, which I find odd because Ragman is essentially a meta though it could be argued he’s just enhanced by the mystical rags soooo… I dunno, it’s resolved by the end of the episode but I figured it was worth mentioning as character growth for Rene.

The most interesting part of the episode is with Ollie, Sara, Thea, Diggle and Ray; all of whom are trapped in a shared hallucination, a seeming perfect world for them. It’s all very For The Man Who Has Everything, a seminal Superman story from Alan Moore, and I love it! It’s so much like that story that I expected the Black Mercy to be involved, much like it was on the Supergirl episode that also homaged that story.

It’s interesting how each person’s ideal life is adapted into this shared dream. Ollie and Thea obviously want their family back (nicely foreshadowed by Ollie’s speech to Barry last episode) but Ollie and Sara also want Laurel back. Ray is engaged to Felicity, who is helping Diggle who is The Hood.

That was an odd branching path until I really thought about it and Diggle wants to be punished/redeemed for what he did to his brother and who does he know that pisses and moans and acts like a grumpy edgelord all the time because he makes piss-poor decisions? Ollie as Green Arrow. It’s funny in it’s own little way.

Flash Fa—Wait, am I allowed to do this for non-Flash shows? Screw it! Arrow Admin: Tommy Merlyn is mentioned explicitly as being absent because he’s a doctor in Chicago. This is a reference to the scheduling conflict Colin Donnell had filming Chicago Med.

Just like For The Man Who Has Everything, eventually our heroes have to break out and it’s a lot less breaking the world and more breaking hearts. There is a nice bit of catharsis for our heroes though, as they face down the projections of those responsible for their traumas and deal with them each in a darkly ironic fashion.

Ollie has Deathstroke, Sara has Darhk, Thea and Merlyn, Diggle and a Ghost representing his brother and Ray with a Deathstroke soldier like the one who killed his fiancée, Anna.

They escape on a stolen Dominator fighter and are picked up by the Waverider and ends on a menacing shot of the Dominator mothership on a direct course with Earth.

This episode is fascinating from a character perspective and does a decent job of continuing the crossover plot line so I’m pretty happy with it but be sure to come back tomorrow as Legends of Tomorrow tags in for the final part of Invasion!

And I feel confident in that opinion because while the movies have been struggling after diving in at the deep end, the CW tv shows have had years to build up a solid roster of characters with unique relationships to each other and we see all of that on display in the first part of Heroes vs Aliens!

I was going to cover the Supergirl episode as well because she’s a major part of the crossover but the crossover plot was the focus of the episode for all of a minute at the end of the episode. A scene they repeat here because it’s the only part that mattered but still a nice connecting point.

Meanwhile at the Hall of Justice! Wait, what? Yeah this is kind of an odd thing to just throw out there. Barry owns a STAR Labs facility that looks like the Hall of Justice? That’s dumb and I’m someone who loves how dumb these comic shows can be. Why introduce this now and not at the end of the crossover?

Because guess what? I don’t buy for a second that shitty aircraft hangar is out back of this immense place. Even the regular STAR Labs looks like a stadium so they can have decent exterior shots but this place is so unreal that I can see it being destroyed.

What does look pretty decent are the Dominators. Yeah, they mostly look like every alien menace ever but they’re competently animated and have the nasty teeth and big dumb red circle on their forehead that defines their race.

Naturally, having all of our heroes in one place has tons of potential for comedy and we get plenty of it from David Ramsey and Dominic Purcell, especially. But one of Diggle’s lines has a rather poignant double-meaning and leads into what I consider to be the primary conflict of the episode.

Barry’s fuck-ups are finally brought out into the open and, naturally, it causes a whole lot of problems with the team dynamic. We see the full extent of the Flashpoint fuckery with Stein’s daughter being revealed, the future news article being written by someone other than Iris and Diggle’s daughter being erased from history and it disillusions most of the assembled heroes. I do like that Kara and Ollie are the only ones to side with Barry, but for vastly different reasons.

The prerequisite heroes vs. heroes fight is a pretty spectacle but nothing truly amazing but this does mark the first time in over four years that Ollie has run out of arrows in a fight.

This first part was exactly what I wanted from it and the other parts promise to deliver on similar amounts of fun, action and drama so be sure to come back tomorrow when we see what happened to the abducted heroes as Invasion Week covers Arrow!

Seriously, why call this episode Shade when the titular character isn’t even the focus? Hell, he doesn’t get a civilian name, his motivation isn’t explained or if he’s even related to the Alchemy case. For fuck’s sake, writers… The primary focus is on Wally and Caitlin, both of whom are struggling with their emerging powers.

It’s good to see Caitlin finally confide in the team, even if it’s not exactly how she wanted to do it. Super-cool to see the future vibe with Cisco and Caitlin duking it out in full costume, even if it means Caitlin will be turning to the dark side. Interestingly, it’s not the powers or even the knowledge that she was evil on Earth-2 but Barry taking her aside and confessing that Pre-Flashpoint Caitlin never had powers. Nice one, Barry, you played yourself.

Meanwhile, Wally is getting his ass knocked out by Iris! Kapow! I loved that sequence but it really highlights how much power Alchemy has over the Flashpointers (because the show hasn’t given me a catchier name to work with). Even when Wally seems to have regained his senses, he jumps at the chance to become a speedster when Alchemy’s philospher’s stone calls out to him.

Notable by his absence is Julian Albert, who disappears at a crucial moment. It’s established earlier in the episode that he’s got a date with his girlfriend and I hope that leads to a comical reveal rather than what we’re lead to believe; that Julian is either Alchemy or…

This gorgeous Bayformer-looking badass; Savitar. Damn, what an incredible introduction to a new villain. Savitar is so fast that only Barry can see him, barely catching glimpses of his whitish-blue lightning before being bodied hardcore by the self-titled God of Speed.

Flash Fact: Savitar takes his name from Savitr, the Hindu god of motion.

While the episode is light on action, it’s steeped in character development and introduces, arguably, The Flash’s greatest nemesis. Candice Patton does a fantastic job but her coming to terms with her secret doesn’t really have the impact of, say, Alex Danvers in Supergirl this week. Still, a good episode and we’ll see Caitlin truly step out into the cold next week in Killer Frost.