It’s not out of the realm of possibility, right? I’m seriously questioning his motives right now, more-so than RoboMay and she’s a confirmed LMD.

The Patriot, naturally, focuses on Jeffrey Mace and his secret origins but before I talk about that, let’s check in with the other plot lines…

Isn’t it a bit cliché that May’s mind rejects the tranquil simulation because “she’s a warrior” and she craves battle? Didn’t they use this exact excuse in The Matrix? Ah well, at least she got a few good hits in before being put under again. Meanwhile, her LMD has discovered her nature and is visibly perturbed. Are we going to see RoboMay rebel against her programming and we’ll have a May/May team-up? I’m guessing yesssssss!

The dynamic between Radcliffe and AIDA is also worth noting because if he keeps being snippy with her, she’s liable to murder his dopey arse. She’s killed for less!

We also get a fair amount of time with a returning Talbot (always a pleasure to see Adrian Pasdar) and FitzSimmons as they try to break an ex-Hydra assassin. It’s good to see Elizabeth Henstridge to play a little darker than sheer white every now and then. Simmons needs to challenge authority more.

Now, the meat and potatoes of the episode is the reveal that Jeffrey Mace is a fraud. After a carefully choreographed attack on Mace — including the first AoS appearance of the Judas Bullets from Luke Cage — Mace, Coulson, and Mack find themselves outnumbered and outgunned by a platoon of Watchdogs. As a result, Mace is revealed not to be an Inhuman at all, instead an enhanced human using a modified version of the Hyde Formula. I was kind of pulling for the same drug that IGH was using in Jessica Jones but I guess this works as a continuity nod too.

So yeah, Mace literally tripped into the role of a hero and has been playing it at the behest of Talbot and the Government. Credit to Jason O’Mara for a few more comical expressions and an incredibly earnest performance near the end as we see a more vulnerable version of Mace. With his secret out, Coulson naturally steps up to run ops from now on but only if Mace remains the face of S.H.I.E.L.D.

I really enjoyed this episode. It had a nice balance between all the plot lines, had a few decent gags and some cool action. Be sure to come back next week when we see AIDA’s plan expand further and May’s need to Wake Up.

Ho-booooy! This episode does not pull it’s punches! It’s gut punches all around as the episode kicks off with Rosalind getting shot in the neck and bleeding out in Coulson’s arms. Fuck, man… Just…

And what follows is Coulson getting a full-on boner for murder. Specifically for Ward’s murder. By his own hands. And he’ll settle for nothing less and, frankly, Ward’s got it coming. He’s had it coming for a long time but, just like Kilgrave in the excellent Jessica Jones, he’s not going to get a good enough end. No death is poetic enough for that psychotic son of a bitch!
Case in point; the kidnapping of FitzSimmons. Can’t these kids catch a fucking break!? Lured into a trap where Banks kills their escort and then himself (Good game, Banks. Good game), FitzSimmons are summoned by Gideon Mallick to reveal how Simmons got back from Treasure Planet. Simmons, being hard as nails now, withstands torture at the hands of both an Inhuman and Ward. Atta girl!

Fitz, on the other hand, folds like a house of cards but it could be argued that his torture is worse. He just got the woman he loves back, she’s already suffering and now she’s being tortured? Of course he agreed to help HYDRA. Anything for her.

Meanwhile, Mack is nominated Director of SHIELD while Coulson goes full-Rambo and when FitzSimmons are found, mounts up with May, a contingent of SHIELD agents and Daisy and her Secret Warriors (Lincoln and Joey). More on them next week no doubt.

To top off the episode, Coulson follows Ward and Fitz through the portal in the most badass way possible; by diving out of a Quinjet! Just like Steve Rogers woulda done! But if GLaDOS has taught us anything about portals it’s that “Momentum, a function of mass and velocity, is conserved between portals. In layman’s terms: speedy thing goes in, speedy thing comes out.”

And he beans himself on an alien rock. Smooth move, Ex-Lax.

For an episode called Closure, there’s not a lot of it going around. If anything, it feels like set-up for the mid-season finale so be sure to come back next week for it as we discover the truth about Maveth.

The Frenemy of My Enemy has to be the dumbest title we’ve had so far and it really doesn’t make sense. “Enemy of my Enemy” would be apt but as it is, it’s just stupid and I hate it.

Other than that, the episode itself is pretty good! Kicks off with some slapstick too, which got a good chuckle out of me.

Between the dangerous alliance forged by Coulson and the tense situation Skye finds herself in lends to an engaging episode. Cal is being dumped out of the Inhuman conclave and Skye is the only one to realise that this is a really dangerous thing to do. He’s liable to go on a rampage but Jiayang doesn’t care, leaving Skye to come up with the idea of going with him and letting him down easy. This goes about as well as can be expected with HYDRA and Deathlok thrown into the mix. In the ensuing chaos, Lincoln and Deathlok are captured by HYDRA and Skye is whisked away by Gordon just as she and Coulson are reunited.

Grant Fucking Ward. Coulson’s boneheaded decision to go to Ward for help, while tactically sound, is bound to go wrong for many, many reasons. One of which is Simmons hacking Mike’s eye cam and catching Coulson and Ward together. That’s gonna be tough to explain. Still, Brett Dalton is on top form as the charismatic asshole we hate to love. Despite how repugnant the character can be, Dalton has an inherent charm that makes his performance hard to hate.

I like the emerging closeness between Hunter and Fitz. Hunter helped Fitz lose his tail and is there comforting him even as Fitz has to sit across from Ward. These two are going to be a fantastic duo to follow going forward.

Stinger is the ‘Real’ SHIELD showing up to the aftermath only to find Coulson more than willing to be taken in. What does this mean? Probably getting the band back together if the next episode title is anything to go by so be sure to come back next week for The Dirty Half Dozen!

Melinda is an odd horse, pulling double-duty of continuing the Inhuman story of Skye and focusing on May’s past and her current investigation. I don’t know what it is about this episode but I am completely ambivalent towards it. Maybe it’s because I’m coming off the best 13 episodes of superhero television I’ve watched in a very long time (aka THE FUCKMOTHERING DAREDEVIL) or that the story is chugging along at a steady/sluggish pace and I just want MORE to happen…

In the present, May is put in charge of the Playground and is running an investigation into Coulson’s clandestine Theta Protocol, which the ‘Real’ SHIELD know about but May has had no knowledge of. Clearly, Coulson’s up to some shady bullshit and Mack believes its to do with hiding powered people but whatever his agenda, we know Coulson is doing it for good reasons. Right?

In the past we learn of May’s infamous mission to Bahrain where she earned the title “The Cavalry”. They throw in a mother/daughter Inhuman tag team to keep the story relevant (I guess) but it’s quite interest to see the dichotomy between her past and present selves. Her charming home life with Andrew, her cheerier outlook and her compassion are on full display and we get to witness all of that stripped away from her by an ultimately forgettable encounter (from out perspective) with a nobody character (though the little girl’s reveal as the creepy fear monger is quite cool).

Over with Skye; her new guide, Jiaying, is helping her “hear” the vibrational frequencies and tunes in on a mountain and causes an avalanche and later creates a continuous tone with wine glasses, showing her focus increasing tremendously shortly before she shatters all the glasses. This leads to a little more about her trust issues and her time at St. Agnes (the orphanage Matt Murdock also spent time in) and laments that she doesn’t even know her birthday, only for Jiaying to tell her the truth and reveal both Skye’s birthdate and that she is Jiaying’s daughter. It’s not a bad resolution all together, and solid reasoning is given as to why their connection should remain secret (tying into May’s plot nicely). Jiaying pleads with Skye to give her father some small measure of time for at least tracking her down and leading her to her heritage, but this “happy” family reunion is quite disturbing as Lincoln walks in and realises this is what Raina saw in her nightmares, revealing her power to be precognition.

Stinger catches up with Fitz, who is being tailed by SHIELD and has holed himself up in a dinner bathroom and activates the Toolbox, gaining contact with Hunter. He admits that he’s in trouble but still wants to join up with them and Hunter offers some reassurance like a supportive dad. Clearly he’s been taking lessons from Coulson.

So yeah, Melinda is a fine episode but I need the show to give itself another, much needed, kick up the arse as we head into Age of Ultron. Come back next week for THE DUMBEST title for an episode to date with The Frenemy of My Enemy. Hngh.

Afterlife is kind of a weird title, and the in-universe explanation is just as ropey to be honest but otherwise a brilliant episode that gives a better look at the Tomorrow People Inhumans and the Coulson’s fight back against the ‘Real’ SHIELD.

After drinks at the bar, Coulson and Hunter head to the retreat and spend most of the episode bonding and being fun guys before they attempt to steal a Quinjet from the ‘Real’ SHIELD. I love that Hunter, while being totally loyal to Coulson, has no problem voicing his concerns at Coulson’s plans. Nick Blood has rocketed to the best new cast addition since Mack turned out to be a filthy traitor. But the biggest thing to take from this C-plot is…

DUH-DUH-DUH-DUH-DUH! DUH-DUH-DUH-DUH-DUH! Mike ‘The Terminator’ Peterson! He never said he’d be back but I always hoped and he’s rocking some brand new armour and even Agent status under Coulson. This was a fantastic return and a much needed boost since the situation’s been pretty dire and there’s only so much Coulson-puppy kicking you can take before you get turned off of the show, right?

Over with the Tomorrow People Inhumans, sorry, I can’t help it! Skye is recovering at the Inhuman’s super-secret base cared for by Lincoln. The reason for the Tomorrow People mix-ups is because Luke Mitchell is another TP alumni, the others joining the CW’s DC shows and this Inhuman safe haven has some very Tomorrow People vibes, with the voiceless extras and the teleporting in and out, the only real difference is that this place is much swankier than a disused subway station. Much more sunlight and Japanese archways.

Luke Mitchell is a fantastic actor and I’m not referring to his stint in TP, I know him from Australian soap opera Home & Away, where he played the charming, good hearted and extremely attractive Romeo (Fun Fact: after 4 years as a regular cast member, he suffered the indignity of dying OFF-SCREEN of skin cancer. Woof.) Tangent aside, he brings all of the same good looks and charm to this role but with his shiny new American accent.

There’s shady goings-on at the safe haven, not so subtly hidden by Lincoln and Skye eventually loses her temper and storms into the forbidden hut of mystery to find Raina and the two trade barbs (geddit?) until Skye’s new trainer enters the room…

WHAT THE FUUUUUUCK! I really did not expect to see Dichen Lachman to return as Jiayang, Skye’s mother. She’s a little scarred up, hinting that she healed after being disected by Whitehall, adding a healing factor to her longevity. We also check in on Cal, who isn’t handling confinement too well and even less so when he realises that Skye is near. He seemed very unsurprised to see his wife alive again so maybe he knew all along? I hope they address that in the future.

Meanhile, the ‘Real’ SHIELD has it‘s agenda flag flying; Gonzales, Mack and Bobbi all seem to be trying their best to recruit May, Fitz and Simmons, respectively. Just being “SHIELD Agents” isn’t enough for our team and that’s what Gonzales and his stooges don’t seem to grasp. This isn’t loyalty to a cause or to a badge, this is family. A dysfunctional, arse-kicking family and what Gonzales has doesn’t compare. Fitz and Simmons, while at odds with each other, would still have each other’s ba–

Oh, well FUCK ME then! No wonder Fitz is leaving! Oh yeah, you read that right. Utterly disgusted by Jemma’s actions and the general douchery of ‘Real’ SHIELD, Fitz packs his bags and leaves…

SWERVE! The stinger reveals that Simmons swapped out the real Toolbox for a fake and now Fitz is on his way to Coulson with it and his favourite sandwich. Finally, there’s some hope for the team!

Afterlife is a brilliant episode that really gives the show a kick in the arse. Multiple reveals and further mysteries mean I’ll be interested in seeing where the show goes as opposed to going through the motions and basically watching just to continue these reviews. What did you guys think? Let me know in the comments and we’ll be back next week for the secret of The Cavalry in Melinda.

One Door Closes has very strong sense of déjà vu, between the flashbacks to the day SHIELD fell and the events of the present as the ‘Real’ SHIELD makes its move against Coulson’s team.

The flashbacks mainly revolve around Bobbi, Mack, Gonzales and Hartley (Lucy Lawless reprising her role) on the day SHIELD fell and how they banded together to take back the ship that ‘Real’ SHIELD uses in the present. It goes a long way to make the characters who are positioned as the antagonists more sympathetic. Granted, they’re still shitbags who are hassling our team so it’s not THAT effective but it’s nice to see how they met. I wonder what is on the ship that was deemed dangerous enough for Fury to order Bobbi to sink it and if it will be used in the near future.

Back at The Homestead, tensions are high between Fitz and Simmons and I’m still backing Fitz all the way. Simmons has been out of bloody order ever since she got back from HYDRA, though she‘s clearly grown as an agent when she effortlessly outsmarts Bobbi and incapacitates her. Coulson confronts Mack as Bobbi returns and the shit hits the fan and ‘Real’ SHIELD storms the base, capturing everyone except May. Ming-Na Wen is on top form this episode, wearing both her badass cap as she fights Bobbi and her Mom hat as she warns Skye and stays behind and gets captured so she can look after FitzSimmons. She helps Coulson escape via a secret elevator even he didn’t seem to know about too!

Meanwhile, in the house that Banner built, Skye is struggling with her isolation but soon gets an unexpected visitor in the shape of Gordon. This is the first real, prolonged, interaction we’ve seen from him and he’s quite the emissary of his people. He breaks the ice with humour, stresses the gravity of the situation that Skye finds herself in but doesn’t force the issue, only offers a hand if she requires it. Once the ‘Real’ SHIELD head to The Retreat and in spite of Bobbi’s orders to only use Icers, Agent Tomas “Dickbag” Calderon packs a real piece.

This dickish plan goes awry as he fires on Skye and she focuses her powers into a shockwave that destroys the forest around them and knocks back Bobbi and Calderon, the latter getting skewered with a shard of tree for his troubles. Gordon pops in when Skye calls to him and takes her, presumably, to the Inhumans haven.

Stinger shows Coulson holed up in some seaside bar (is he literally in Tahiti!?) when Hunter rolls up and signs a napkin, finally accepting Coulson’s job offer.

One Door Closes should feel like the darkest chapter for the team since HYDRA but it doesn’t and that feels weird. Maybe ‘Real’ Shield isn’t REALLY a threat or maybe because we have other threats that are far cooler to contend with coming. Either way, it’s a pretty good episode and we’ll see where Skye went and what the fate of the team is in Afterlife.