Welcome back to Flash Facts, everyone! I’ve missed this and you guys and watching my favourite CW-verse Team but do you know what I haven’t missed?

Barry Allen as god saviour of all. I’ll be straight with you that I was not looking forward to the first few episodes of Season 4 because I knew that they would bring Barry back immediately because it’s not like we have another Flash on the show that’s been steadily developing or anything…

I will admit that bringing him back as an insane amnesiac (avec sick-ass beard) was a neat idea and I wish they’d at least kept him out of the suit for a few episodes if they were intent on bringing him back immediately after his sacrifice. The bizarre language Barry is writing in doesn’t conform with any written language established in DC Comics though it does bear a pacing resemblance to Interlac, the language of the 30th Century. His speech is a whole different beast as, amongst his ramblings, there seems to be a few snippets of dialogue from upcoming events. Again, if this manic state had continued, we could have used Barry as a bespoke early warning system while his mind readjusts to non-Speed Force reality.

Wally and Cisco get it bad this episode and that sucks! Despite clearly being active for 6 months inbetween seasons, we have to watch them act like bumble kings despite them being mostly capable in the previous season. I mean seriously, these guys get jobbed out by Peek-a-Boo and the super obscure Samuroid and THAT’S the impetus to bring Barry back? Boo-urns! You could have at least made it a gathering of The Rogues. I did dig that Wally just knows Japanese, nice little character tid-bit.

As bad as Wally and Cisco got it, Iris got it worse because she was damn good this episode. Candice Patton does a fantastic job playing Iris as a strong leader and voice of reason. Despite Barry’s loss, she seems to be the only one willing to live by his wishes and move forward, actively getting Wally and Cisco to train while acting as their “guy in the chair”. Having her continue her growth without Barry for a while would have been really interesting to see.

Caitlin has gone full Bruce Banner in the 6 months the Team haven’t seen her, now switching between Caitlin and Frost based on emotion. Interesting wrinkle, more interested in that dive bar she was working at and why the manager looks so distinctly unique. Questions for later in the season, probably!

In the final moments of the show, we find out who sent the Samuroid to literally welcome Barry home and it’s the Season Villain du jour, DeVoe aka the Thinkers – looking an awful lot like Metron of the New Gods in his floating chair and futuristic lair. I have to wonder at the design choice here because while Thinker is known for being one of the Flash’s smarter villains, he’s never really stolen Metron’s look before. Maybe it’ll be explained further in the season but for now, just a curious thing to note.

So that was The Flash Reborn, a bit of a tepid return to the series with a rather obvious plot line. It was disappointing but hey, it could have been worse! We could have had a 4th Speedster as the big bad! *shudder* Anyway, thanks for reading, let me know what you guys thought in the comments and we’ll be back next week to see if the show continues to send Mixed Signals.

Here we go with The Flash season finale and for all the shit I’ve given the show this season, I will admit that there were some genuine surprises to be had, starting with…

The death of HR Wells. I knew they were going to save Iris through shenanigans but I’ll give the show credit for a cunning bait-and-switch using established plot points; with HR taking Iris’s place on the business end of Savitar’s spike thanks to his image inducer. It’s a clever work around and had a real emotional impact for the audience and the team.

The Killer Frost/Vibe dynamic is interesting this episode too as Cisco’s gradual melting of Caitlin’s icy exterior pays off as she turns face and attacks Savitar for trying to kill Cisco. She even attends HR’s funeral, albeit from a distance, promising to come back to the team when she figures out who she is. Like I said previously, with Killer Frost apart of the Justice League in comics, it makes sense to give her a face-turn for some cross-media compatibility.

If there’s one thing I didn’t like was how they handled the Barry/Other-Barry scenes. Not that they’re bad, in fact they’re great, but they don’t go anywhere. We go through a whole song and dance with Savitar being saved by Team Flash only for him to reveal it was a waste of his time. And ours, apparently! Was he seriously that bored while waiting for Cisco to modify the speed bazooka that he figured he’d dick around with his old mates for shits and giggles? I dunno, good scenes but they served no purpose.

Naturally, the day is saved (and Jay gets broken out of the speed force to boot!) and everything is hunky-dory! …Of course, it isn’t. We need setup for next season and apart from a sly hint at a future villain (DeVoe aka The Thinker) we have a new dynamic to establish. With Jay free from the speed prison and no one to take his place, the sky erupts with lightning, demanding a speedster sacrifice and since everyone else has had a turn (and because he needs to serve penance for his numerous fuck-ups), Barry decides to go.

Wow, this is potentially a huge shake-up for the show! With Barry gone, Wally would become Central City’s Flash with Vibe as back-up. That’s great because the kid needs more development and can truly grow with Jay’s guidance. I mean, if it sticks. The absolute worst thing that could happen is that Barry returns within the first couple episodes (and I have a sinking feeling that he could) but I hope not. The Flash lineage is one of the longest running in comics and is as diverse as they come so seeing the sidekick become the hero is a great direction for the show to go.

This season has had it’s ups and downs, having a third speedster as the big bad was a huge misstep in my opinion but the huge crossover in the middle bolstered it and there were a fair few great moments so overall it’s an average season. I hope that we’ll be seeing a Brave New World when we come back next season but for now, as always…

Flash of Two Worlds is what fans have been clamouring for since the show started; Barry Allen, the novice hero and Jay Garrick, the elder statesmen joining forces to take down a villain so heinous that it requires two Speedsters to do it. Sand Demon.

Wait, who? No, I’m actually asking in the tone of Djimon Hounsou because who the hell is Sand Demon? If you were going for someone from Jay’s world or even from his rogues gallery, I’d have gone for Icicle. Not only because of the obvious parallels but because it’d make for some fun banter. But there’s a lot of introductions this episode so we must press on!

Patty Spivot, a character from the comics who, in the New 52 at least is Barry’s love interest, makes her first appearance and she’s clearly a fan of Barry’s work, sharing some good chemistry together. She’s eager, boastful but deep down, she wants to join the Anti-Metahuman Taskforce because the Marden brothers killed her father. She’s a fun character, I can’t wait to see more of her.

Zoom, The Flash’s true nemesis, makes his first full appearance. Clad in in a black version of the Reverse-Flash costume, a mask that looks like it’s suffocating the poor suit actor and with cobalt blue lightning, he makes an intimidating first impression by robbing Jay of his speed. He’s also voiced by Tony Todd, just in case you weren’t quite intimidated enough. I think they could have down more to make him seem more demonic, rather than just Reverse-Flash in black. The vibrating really bothers me.

Jay Garrick! A lot younger, buffer and attractive than I thought they’d go with Jay but just like Caitlin, I was swooning. He’s got a bit of Nathan Fillion about him and he’s incredibly charming throughout the entire episode, overcoming Barry’s suspicions to become his new mentor. He’s played Teddy Sears who I really know from Torchwood… Miracle… Day… Well, we won’t hold that against him. He’s too dreamy.

Flash of Two Worlds was an utter delight from start to finish. It established the mutliverse, it had a fun dynamic between our two heroes and set-up even more plot points to come but we’ll have to see how that goes next time with a whole Family of Rogues!

What?

What do you mean I forgot something? Oooooooh…

Yeah. I’m glad he’s back too :)

Right off the bat, we get an exposition dump by Gideon, who is more than happy to spill the beans on Wells, Barry’s future and even make herself a nice full-body projection for no raisin. It’s good to get this out of the way at the top of the show.

Flash Fact: While the show makes a big deal about Iris West-Allen writing the article, the fun stuff is what is mentioned; namely Green Arrow, The Atom and Hawk Girl, giving sly nod to the upcoming spin-off show starring characters from both Arrow and The Flash.

After the info-dump, the team regroups and addresses Cisco’s “dream” and offers no real explaination other than “because we need to know this stuff” and concoct some snazzy headgear to help Cisco lucid dream and get the info they need. (Plus Joe’s inappropriate giggle is the best thing ever)

Flash Fact: As well as Cisco’s glasses looking a great deal like his New 52 head gear, the welding goggles Barry dons bear a striking similarity to Captain Cold’s comic eye-wear.

So the team concocts their trap and all seems to be going well until Joe shoots Wells and Barry’s father seems doomed to rot in jail but SWERVE! It’s not Wells at all but Hannibal Bates, the Everyman. Wells taunts the team over the speakers and leaves his wheelchair behind in the time vault just so Barry could see that Wells has been watching them all along, fully aware of their plans.

As always, Tom Cavanaugh plays the line between despicable villain and warm mentor excellently, something even Barry acknowledges. He’s such a compelling and complex character to watch and it makes the show that much better for it.

Wells kidnaps Eddie, Iris inadvertently realises that Barry is The Flash and the team is left reeling as Wells’ endgame fast approaches. This was an amazing episode and the series as a whole continues to get better and better. With only three episodes left, I can’t wait to see how Team Flash rises to the occasion but be sure to join us next week for some monkey business in Grodd Lives!

Yup, unsurprisingly, this episode is mostly spent trying to convince the remaining cast member (Caitlin) that Wells is the big bad while the rest of us have to wait quietly. Still at least we have a somewhat interesting villain and a visit to sister-show, Arrow.

The unfortunate result of having a shape shifter as your villain is that everyone acts supremely dumb, like Barry getting knocked out by “Eddie” and Caitlin being kissed by “Barry”. Hannibal Bates is relatively obscure, coming from the comic series 52 and is punching way above his weight class. He’s an alright villain but can be ultimately forgettable, like Whatsisface and Whosits. Got a freaky look to him though, that’s cool.

One good thing to come out of this is another buddy building exercise for Barry and Eddie, the latter of whom is framed for murder but when Barry busts him out of custody, implores Barry to put him back and catch this Everyman the right way. Eddie’s a cool guy and I’m glad he’s in on the secret.

Speaking of cool partnerships, Joe and Cisco hop over to Starling City and team up with Captain Quentin Lance. Laurel Lance also makes an appearance and reveals her identity as the Black Canary to Cisco, who declares his love and offers his help with a tech problem. These scenes are very fun and give some levity for the Arrow characters who have been stuffed with grief for the past month so it’s great to see some light-hearted banter. Team Joesco and Lance find the original Wells’ body and Cisco builds a sonic choker for Laurel, offering “Canary Cry” as its name. As payment, Laurel takes a picture in full costume with a delight Cisco. I wish Cisco and Laurel could be a thing, they’re very sweet.

Stinger sees Team Flash find out about Wells’ secret room and it’s pretty tense to see them finally come face to face with the forbidden closet of mystery. They discover the Reverse Flash costume and the newspaper from the future.

Things are really picking up speed as we race toward the finally! I’ll catch you next week when we spring The Trap.

All-Star Team-Up is what I’ve been waiting for since Ray’s introduction, getting himself and our boy Barry on screen for some serious Science Bromance! Unfortunately, we don’t quite get that but it’s still a fantastic episode!

I’ll get the Iris BS out of the way first. She knows Eddie is lying to her and spends the rest of the episode pissing and moaning about it, EVEN AFTER Barry gives her a perfectly good reason as to Eddie’s recent behaviour but still gives him an ultimatum and storms off. Now, I’m not saying that her opinion or concern is invalid, I’m just pissed that we’re wasting time with her when there is an ALL-STAR TEAM-UP going on! Oy vey.

Felicity heralds the arrival of The Atom to STAR Labs, Ray getting up and grinning like the massive dork that he is. You know the writers couldn’t resist the chance to make Superman puns for Brandon Routh’s first appearance on the show. While Ray and Barry don’t spend a lot of time chumming it up, Cisco is immediately smitten with Ray’s suit, less so with his name choice. Brandon Routh is just a delight to watch as Ray so he’s a welcome light in an ever darkening arc.

The bad guy du jour is Brie Larvan, who gets the shortest end of the stick with little-to-no character development or motivation apart from being fired. Again, I think the Iris scenes could have been cut in favour of more time with the Bug-Eyed Bandit. Emily Kinney (The Walking Dead’s Beth) does a passable job with what little she’s given, even being on par with Felicity’s hacking skills.

Flash Fact: In the comics, the Bug-Eyed Bandit is one of The Atom’s rogues but is actually a male named Bertram Larvan.

Tina McGee makes a return and has one of the funnier moments of the episode with Harrison Wells.

Stinger (heh) has Barry and Joe bringing Cisco and Caitlin in on their investigation of Wells and while Caitlin is adamant that Wells couldn’t be the Reverse-Flash, Cisco reveals that he’s been having visions of Wells killing him (which we’ve been seeing throughout the episode). Wait, WHAT? How is that a thing? Those events never happened in this timeline so how can he have memories of them? Is Barry and Wells’ presence futzing with time? Hmmm, guess we’ll have to see what explanation they come up with…
All-Star Team-Up isn’t the best team-up The Flash has had but it’s certainly entertaining and continues the Wells investigation to it’s natural end. Everyone is in on it and Wells, seemingly, has no idea. Join me next week when we find out Who is Harrison Wells?

Out of Time sees the introduction of a new Weather Wizard, the culmination of all the WestAllen BS and a shocking death! Woof!

Mark Mardon, criminal brother of the Weather Wizard from the first episode returns to seek vengeance against Joe, who seems rather non-plussed at the idea of a metahuman hitman. That said, I think Joe is bordering on the wrong side of zealousness in this episode. He doesn’t give a fuck about Mardon or his beef, he’s a scumbag just like his brother and that’s that. I’m not saying that Mardon deserves any sympathy but it’s odd to see Joe so cavalier about it. He manages to collar Joe, lure Barry and Iris to the water front and then unleash a tsunami on Central City. He shows a much higher degree of control of his powers compared to his brother but that may be the year(?) since Barry first suited up or because, as the flashback shows, Mark shows more control in general compared to Clyde.

I’m sure the West Allen shippers are going to be happy as Barry and Iris finally share a kiss! Yaaaaay… Yeah, I don’t care. I’m sorry but it’s not going to stick so why should I? At least it will give the shippers something to talk about for the next couple weeks but the real consequence of this action is BARRY BREAKING TIME. He runs so fast to counter the tsunami that he jumps back in time and becomes the “speed mirage” that he saw earlier in the episode! WHOA! That’s freaking awesome and means that most of the events of this episode will probably be good news for Cisco.

Welp, there’s no way I can apologise for THAT. Nope, no walking that one back. Damn. Yup, Wells is Eobard Thawne, the Reverse-Flash. But I found this entire scene so intense and brutal that it’s the best part of the season so far. Seriously, Tom Cavanagh and Carlos Valdes deserve some sort of award for their performances. Thawne has been stranded in this era for 15 years and while he wanted to kill Barry, Nora died in his stead so Wells has been training Barry, pushing him to eventually help him return to his own time. It’s an obvious revelation but ultimately, it’s the details that matter. Wells is not happy to kill Cisco, he doesn’t even smile. Just a solemn apology, some reassurance that their friendship and respect was genuine and an explanation that, from Wells’ perspective, Cisco has been dead for years. It’s chilling, scary and an utter delight to watch and makes this episode the highlight for sure.

Flash Fact: Carlos Valdes’ tears in this scene were not scripted, it happened naturally as they acted out the scene. Give that man an Emmy!

With Barry’s arrival in the past and the events seemingly changed for the better, how will karma come to bite our Scarlet Speedster’s ass next week? Will Cisco’s death or Barry and Iris’s kiss stick or will the return of Captain Cold and Heat Wave bring something more gruesome? We’ll find out next time in Rogue Time.

The day of the reboot has come. It was largely a disappointment, but I don’t really know anyone who was expecting it to be anything other than complete garbage.

I suppose I’ll start with the end, rather than the beginning.

Flashpoint #5
Written by GEOFF JOHNS
Art by ANDY KUBERT, SANDRA HOPE, and JESSE DELPERDANG

In a word…or three: I hate it.

This was a mess. Let me just start out by saying SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS because if you don’t know the story and conclusion of Flashpoint, you’re going to in a second. Secondly, TERRIBLE TERRIBLE TERRIBLE because it was everything I really wished it wasn’t.

The buildup that started way back when with Flash #1 in June 2010 was actually very good and pretty interesting. Barry Allen of the future kills the Mirror Master because he was going to kill Iris or some such. It was actually the Top whose motivations are to stop his ancestor’s criminal record from getting him barred from becoming a time cop (which he already was) and some such that I don’t really remember but it was an interesting little mystery story. The end of that 6 issue arc referenced some changes to the timestream and some things going on that made it that led directly in to Flashpoint. Now, problem the first, the changes to the timestream seemed to be limited to Wonder Woman having a different costume, Darkseid sending Bruce back in time with the Omega effect, Lex Luthor meeting Death, Deadman with the White Lantern Ring, and what looked like the Dread Pirate Roberts fighting another pirate…not a lot that spells out “TIME DISASTER!” to me. Even if you take into account the mess that was Time Masters: Vanishing Point to try to explain everything, you only get the idea that Darkseid messed something up. None of the other items belong on that board really. Does a costume change really mean a glitch in the timesteam?

Now, I suppose we’re supposed to believe that there are two, distinct timelines being viewed here, or at least 2 of the 3 mentioned in Flashpoint #5. This, however, is unclear, because in a splashpage in #5, we see what looks to be the rebooted timeline (#1), the pre-reboot timeline (#2), and the Wildstorm timeline (which is not, in fact, a timeline but is apparently another universe of some sort) (#3). I must note that nowhere in this mix is the actual timeline created during Flashpoint (#4). So that leaves us with at least 5 “timelines” (including the broken one from Flash #6 from whence Hot Pursuit came) . This is either a gross oversight by the artist, poor planning, or evidence that they don’t know what the frak they’re doing.

To quell some argument: Yes, I’m being this picky. No, this isn’t being overly analytic of the comic because Flashpoint, JLA, The Flash, and Brightest Day are all written by the same man who has a responsibility to keep his damn story straight or let somebody else take the reigns.

TL;DR: It doesn’t make a lot of sense.

Now, the book itself. The issue is mostly a huge argument between Flash and Reverse Flash about how the Flash ruined everything by trying to change time. The entire reason for Flashpoint’s existence is explained pretty swiftly over two panels. Barry Allen was sad because he learned that Rev. Flash killed his mother in the past. In a flashback that we never actually saw in comic books and is referenced for the first time on page three here, we see The Flash go back in time to stop The Reverse Flash. Apparently, Allen did some hooba jooba with the Speed Force and caused a massive timesplosion that created the Flashpoint universe.

Now, to the weakest part of the story, the part where Eobard Thawne reveals that he’s an absolute dick. He wanted Barry to remember, he could do it at any time and make him suffer in the knowledge that he caused all this. He could have done that before Barry had the help of Batman and could have done it without anyone’s knowledge and thus made the entirety of Flashpoint obsolete (because, honestly, the end of the issue does that anyways).

Rev. Flash also pointedly states that he is now immune to time…apparently. Because of the fact that he was traveling through time when Barry changed it, the rules of time no longer apply to him. To make a point, THAT’S NOT HOW TIME TRAVEL WORKS! I get it, comic books have free reign over the laws of physics and the rules of the universe. The second you travel through time, you become immune to time travel. You create infinite alternate universes every instance that you step out of the normal stream of time.By the simple act of going back in time to kill someone, you would create a universe in which you kill them, while leaving the original completely untouched.

Thawne uses this new knowledge to beat the Flash to a bloody pulp (because The Flash, trained fighter with the Justice League, suddenly cannot fight worth a damn). He claims that he now has eternal double jeopardy for Barry Allen and there will never ever be any repercussions for killing him. However, Batman, once again proving to be the only effective hero in the DCU, Bat-impales him on his Bat-sword.

Some other stuff that doesn’t really matter happens. Superman/boy shows up and punches people, Flash runs really fast to stop himself from running really fast, and a creepy phantom lady head tells the Flash that he done messed up. Time hits the restart button, Barry wakes up and makes Bruce Wayne cry with a Bat-letter from his future/not-future daddy.

Rating: 5/10 (If only because Reverse Flash gets Bat-sword-ed)

FIN.

Justice League #1
Written by GEOFF JOHNS
Art by JIM LEE

Similarly messy to Flashpoint #5, was its progeny, Justice League #1.

Now, this story takes place 5 years prior to any of the events of the rest of the reboot. This doesn’t immediately condemn the story to being awful because you can do a few “how they met” episodes and I’ll be just fine. It didn’t bother me in Lost and it don’t bother me now if they want to show me how they first met. DC wants new fans and I won’t begrudge them the effort, but as a long-time fan, don’t expect me to fawn over another gorram origin story.

An origin story that feels terrifyingly similar to All-Star Batman & Robin. However, this is a story without the goddamn Batman and lemonade, this story has a dickish (but still kinda awesome) Batman and a jerkass Hal Jordan. It also reveals pre-Cyborg Vic Stone for 4 pages of awkward father issues, and a Superman that might need a high-five for hurtin’ the face of Johns’ baby GL. Still no sign of Wonder Woman or Aquaman, though I really quite liked the rejected sketch in the back of the issue with Aquaman’s crustacean armor.

In relation to the rest of the reboot, this book doesn’t tell us much. The world seems to be a bit more hostile to superheroes in general, which I’m ok about, I guess it explains why there are so many “covert-ops” teams in the 52. Hal seems to have a much better grasp on being a Green Lantern, which might make some interesting reading for the main GL series. Bruce is a bit of an ass (Jordan DID deserve it) but at the end of Flashpoint he seemed like an alright dude when talking to Barry. Does he soften up a bit in the 5 years between Justice League #1 and now? Does Damien warm his heart to the cold, cruel world? Do rhetorical questions ever solve anything? The answer to all is a big ol’ MAYBE.

Final Thoughts:
1) GCPD has some damn nice equipment. Gatling guns, at least three helicopters, state-of-the-art body armor and uniform decals, irrational prejudice, Stormtrooper-like aim, real karate chop action, etc.
2) WHY IS BATMAN PUNCHING THE BUILDING WITH HIS CAPE!?!?INTERROBANG?!?!
3) Alien’s fire-breath-thingy also seems to be fire-butt-thingy.
4) By removing Hal’s ring, did Batman realize that the fires all over Gotham aren’t being put out anymore.
5) Bonus: Hal Jordan’s ring constructs show a bit of imagination.
6) I get the feeling that the little boxy thingy that they pulled out of the wall is going to be a portal for Darkseid/Reverse Flash/anyone they want because its a plot loophole/Nekron to return and for Hal Jordan to get heroically whisked away into not-being-around-land.
7) I’m going to stencil “Hustle, Hit, Never Quit” on my wall.
8) Superman’s punch is strange to me. Its blue and red, so it must mean that he flew into Jordan. However, he is seen walking out of the building a second later, so it seems that he is being intentionally deceptive about his speed to hide how fast he is.
9) In the confrontation with Supes, Bruce is clearly in the middle of an open area, but in the last panels, behind him is seen building, and he’s looking at Superman who is framed by building. This new DC universe has Chia-like buildings “Just add superheroes, and watch them grow!”
10) Every individual character sketch but Superman’s has a better costume/look than the final that they went with.

Rating: 6/10 (There is potential here. Somewhere beneath the madness, there is potential)

Tomorrow, hopefully, I’ll post another bit about the books this week that I liked. Warning: there will be fawning over the ground that Warren Ellis treads.