I have never read the Tintin comics. The adventures of a young boy and his dog don’t really appeal to me all that much. Call me crazy. However, despite my scepticism it is a beloved comic and has run for decades. Even with that haircut.

Motion capture animated films are not the most popular in the entertainment industry. Films like The Polar Express haven’t done terribly but have yielded a mixed reaction from critics and the movie going public. I can understand the feeling. It’s not quite live action, not quite animation and completely strange to watch sometimes.

So when it was announced that they were making a Tintin motion capture animated film you can imagine my apathy. But when I found out who “they” were, it piqued my interest. Written by Steven Moffat (Dr. Who), Edgar Wright (Shaun of The Dead, Hot Fuzz) and Joe Cornish (Attach the Block) and starring Daniel Craig, Jamie Bell, Andy Serkis and a long list of other cool actors. It got my attention.

While it may be a movie made by cool film makers will it still be a good movie? A feature length trailer had arrived to give us a clue so lets take a look.

Watched it? Good, here are my thoughts:

– lol cat

While the “fall over a cat” joke isn’t high on my list of rib-ticklers, the cat itself and it’s face gave me a chuckle.

That’s a face.

– A Face For Comics

Speaking of faces, Tintin ain’t a looker. For our main protagonist, it’s going to be rough staring at this thing for 2 hours. Animated or not, he’s ugly.

And I always thought he was blonde. Was he a ginger in the books?*

– Captain Haddock

First of all, great name. Secondly, look at that nose! Finally, Andy Serkis… yay!

… that is all.

– Spalsh!

Going back to a problem I have with motion capture animation. While it can be great to have realistic movements and such, when you add it to rubbery faces like Capt Haddock’s above it becomes a strange and uncomfortable viewing experience. My brain doesn’t accept it. However there are some great looking effects like the water splashes here.

Very realistic, but it’s a cartoon… but it’s real… but it’s a cartoon…

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Overall, I have to say I’m not exactly blown away by this. While there seems to be plenty of high action pieces and some slapstick comedy thrown in, the trailer is such a mishmash of information that I have no clue what’s going on other than “adventure… and boats!”.

I’d like to keep faith in the people involved with making the film, but whoever made the trailer did a bad job of selling the movie to me. With the sequel already in the works, however, they may not care.

* Turns out it depended on who coloured him. Plenty of images of TIntin as both a ginge and blonde when I google it.

I was a big fan of the original Planet Of The Apes films. They’re weren’t all gold but they excelled in the type intelligent science fiction films that we don’t see much of anymore. They made a statement about a myriad of social issues at the time but also were damn good entertainment at the same time.

My favourite in the series of films is Conquest Of The Planet Of The Apes. Yes, the titles in these films are ridiculously long. Anyway, Conquest was interesting because it was the story of the apes’ uprising. It was stirring, it made you root for the apes, who were the bad guys originally, and it aped (pun intended) the civil rights issues of the time.

So when I heard they were making a new prequel to these films that would change the origin of the apes, I was needless to say a little ticked off. However, they announced that the wonderful Weta Digital would be working on the apes and Andy Serkis would be playing the lead ape (named Caesar after the lead character in Conquest, I’m sure they thought that this was a nice touch but honestly it just bugs me). Could this change things?

Well the trailer is out now so lets see what’s in store.

Here are my thoughts/feelings/attempts at being funny.

– “So they’re, like, smart or something”

I understand James Franco is an oscar nominated actor and is supposed to be a lovely fellow. I have no ill will toward him. With that being said, I can’t take him seriously anymore. When people thought he was stoned while hosting the Oscars it was because a) he may have been but most likely b) he just sounds that way. Constantly.

So when he hands a potato chip, THE BASE FOOD OF STONERS, to an ape…

…and is impressed when the ape wants another, yeah, all I now see is scientist stoner. Either Franco needs to start taking some speech classes to get rid of that slur in his voice or stick to the Cheech and Chong style films he’s now doing with Danny McBride.

– What A Downer

I really hope this woman has some higher purpose in this film other than to tell Franco that he’s wrong. Unfortunately it’s all we hear in the trailer. It’s just bitch, bitch, bitch.

Although this moment is highly suggestive that she may be some sort of romantic interest. If we’re lucky we’ll get to see an ape rip her face off at some point.

-Because Apes Can Be Perverts Too

This is creepy on several levels.

I don’t think I need to expand on it too much other than… why?

– Are You Gonna Go My Way?

Sorry, the shot just reminded me of the Lenny Kravitz video, but you know, with apes.

My main problem here is that these apes are numbered. There can only be so many within this facility and only these ones have been enhanced. So when they break out and apparently rise up they’re completely outnumbered by the public. I don’t care how smart these apes are now, any sort of military attack should sort them out.

In the original Conquest the number of apes rivaled the humans and their uprising was a real rebellion, it was essentially a class of people fighting back. They wore clothes and had jobs. The apes could even use guns!

In this? Well, it can’t get very far can it? It’s only those experimented on that are fighting and they’re not used to the outside world so they’re still learning about their surroundings when they break out. They only have the scientists to revenge against. It’s just so much more limited.

– Andy Serkis

The man needs to get more work so I’m always happy to see him, even if he is an ape this time.

And I do like that the apes are… apey and not just people in masks so that’s a positive.

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I may not be giving this a fair chance by comparing it to the classic films but this new approach to the story really changes a lot of the meaning behind the originals and makes it more into a creature feature than the social commentary it once was. Making the apes something dangerous that started running wild rather than slaves who fought back against their masters is a rather shallow choice in comparison. Maybe the movie will surprise me and be loftier than this trailer suggests, but I’m not holding my breath.