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The Academy Awards are over, and it takes award season with it. For movie junkies like me, it will be a long wait till we get our next fix. I didn’t want the season to fully move on without a little “Doom.”

The Hosts–

While it was joked on stage that the choices of James Franco and Anne Hathaway were picked by the Academy to pull in the youth demographic, that never works. Jon Stewart was hired for just the same reason, and although I liked him as a host, he did not deliver the ratings they were hoping for. In the end, it seems that what really counts is the charm and personality of the host, or hosts. How did they do?
I was truly surprised by Anne Hathaway. I honestly had no feelings for her good or bad. She always seemed to fill the roles she played just fine, but was never magnetic enough for me to feel her presence added or subtracted from a project. However, in front of the crowd at the Kodak, she really came alive. I won’t be shocked to see her in this position again.
James Franco on the other hand, I was less impressed with. This seems odd to me, as I have come to like Franco’s work and will seek him out. However, his laid back personality came off as a bit blank. I think he tried very hard to show us he was having fun, but in the end, he seemed like he was removed from the audience. Sorry James, but if it makes you feel better I am going to go see Your Highness.

The Good–

1) Kirk Douglas was by far the most engaging person on stage. If ever you needed someone to show new Hollywood what a class act was, he did it. The next time you see some young actor complaining about the hours they work, or the crazy make up they “endure” just think of this 93-year-old man, with speech still impaired after a stroke, bringing down the house with his charm and wit. He may not have gotten a trophy, but he won the Oscars.

2) I would like to point out something- Eminem, Three Six Mafia, Isaac Hayes, and the guy who wrote the lyrics “I want to f**k you like an animal” have Oscars. Alfred Hitchcock, Peter O’Toole, Richard Burton, Glen Close, Robert Altman, and Stanley Kubrick don’t. Good job, Mr. Reznor.

3) Melissa Leo, thank you for a moving speech and a great drop of the f-bomb. We needed you to start the night on the right foot.
4) Aaron Sorkin winning for best screenplay. The Social Network was an amazing script. I was hoping this was the beginning of a streak, alas.

5)The dude with the floppy hair who won for best live action short. His name was Luke Matheny the film was God of Love, but all I remember is the enthusiasm. You are a young filmmaker and you just won a massive award. Take a lesson from him, celebrities. This is how you can be excited, humbled, and stay composed all at the same time.

6) I might be imagining this one, but I am going to list it anyway. There was a moment when Rick Baker won for The Wolfman, Jude Law was reading the name from the envelope, and I am pretty sure I saw Robert Downey Jr. look disappointed that Iron Man 2 lost. Way to be human RDJ, besides I felt the same way.

The Bad–

1) Who hired Celine Dion to sing over the death montage? Can they be in next year’s, please? Not only did the live singing detract from what should have been a tribute, but the camera kept cutting to her! The home audience had no choice but to bask in the glory of Celine. She is the best argument as to why the United States should close its borders.

2) The “script” was woefully out of date. If the Academy was pandering to the young crowd, then why make Franco tell a six degrees of Kevin Bacon joke. Sure that would have been funny…in ’95.

3)By rushing the show, it lessens the spectacle. I understand that the audience does not want the five hour shows of my youth, but at least then we had an Oscar show that was unique. The hosts barely had time for the opening, and all the songs were cut to snippets. Sure we want to keep the show moving, but if we just have people on stage throwing out awards, it seems like a trade show. Movies are big, the show should be big. There has to be a way to have them move briskly and still be special.

4) I felt the theme of the show felt a little half-baked. I was intrigued when it seemed they were going to paint each award with a tribute to the past. When they gave the art design award to Inception, they transformed the stage to a Gone With The Wind version of Atlanta. I didn’t notice anything like it again until Justin Timberlake used an iPhone (groan) to turn the background to something out of Shrek. (By the way, Timberlake would have been a stronger choice than Franco. Just remember my advice Academy. It’s free just for you)

5) Poor Roger Deakins. How many beautiful Cohen Bros. films has this guy got to shoot before he gets his due. At this point it’s just getting pathetic. True Grit was the most beautifully shot film I saw last year. C’mon Academy, wise up.



The Final Verdict–

I enjoyed the show, I always do. Some years and some hosts may be better than others. God knows, there are years that I agree with who went home with trophies and some I don’t. But I like to remember that each of the awards is given by your working contemporaries. As a small time actor, I still imagine what it would be like to have that kind of honor bestowed upon me. That may not be cool to admit but it is true. For this reason, I like watching the movie industry getting dressed in their best and being told “I like you. You did a good job”.
I confess, this is one of the few years in recent memory that I have not seen the movie that won best picture. I’ll see it, I am sure, but it never really grabbed me. It seems to me that this is one of those years that we will look back at and wonder why The King’s Speech won over The Social Network, Inception, and True Grit.
Still, I would like to thank the Academy for captivating me one more time.

I think what we need now is not criticism. I like to believe that movie critics think their role is to steer you toward a great film. However, new film gets all the spectacle and noise, and the fantastic library of great work gets tossed out for the shiner model. I am going to try to rectify that.

The role of the movie critic is evolving; it is the pinky on the movie industry’s hand. We may have thought it had a use at some time, but it certainly hasn’t made a difference in my life, except maybe to scratch my ear. In a time where movies were a primary source of entertainment, and information was hard to come by, I can see that a review in the paper might have informed which part of town you drove to. However, between the multiplex showing all films in one location, the internet making sure you know every detail of a film before it is done filming, and the window between cinematic release and home viewing getting smaller every day, they don’t have much sway anymore.

Of course, the most damning thing is the fact that entertainment is subjective. It doesn’t matter how many people tell you a movie is fantastic; if you don’t enjoy yourself, then it was a waste of your precious time. I think back to a conversation where The Website Of Doom’s own Aaron Poole and I failed to agree on the film Anchorman. Aaron is of the opinion that it is a very funny flick, whereas I can’t seem to get into it. The masses agree with him, but that can’t shake my opinion that it seems flabby, slow, and gets in its own way, killing a funny premise. Still, we are both right. If he has fun, great. If I avoid it, great. Everyone wins.

The subjectivity of enjoyment seems to come into focus every year around this time. We made it through the end of the year’s movie releases- you know, the “Oscar Bait.” The public is trained to accept films in degrees throughout the year. January and February are the throwaway films, May through September are blockbusters, and the quality dramas are released in November and December. What happens then when a film like The Dark Knight comes out? Well, as we all saw the Oscars freaked out. There is no doubt that The Dark Knight was a favorite of the public and there was a bit of outrage when we geeks were not given the chance to enter the mainstream that we all thought a quality super hero flick would give us. However, I for one, cannot say that No Country For Old Men didn’t deserve all the love the Academy Awards gave it. Honestly, when you consider 2008 gave us No Country For Old Men, The Dark Knight, and There Will Be Blood we should just call that a banner year for cinematic quality. Of course, we all know that only two of these got Best Picture nods, and the public declared the Academy Awards out of touch with the common man. They volleyed back by letting ten movies be nominated for Best Picture. Because the best way to seem “hip” is to lessen the importance of the nomination, or as The Incredibles’ Elastigirl and Dash summed up so aptly…

Dash: Dad always said our powers were nothing to be ashamed of. Our powers made us special.

Elastigirl: Everyone’s special, Dash.
Dash: [sullenly] Which is another way of saying no one is.

Now, I don’t say all of this to rail against the system. I don’t think that movie critics should be completely abolished. There will always be those who are not as tuned in as the rest of us. Also, people like to know if a film is good before they plunk down a few hours pay to have Hollywood’s finest provide a bit of well deserved escapism. However, we all need to know that there are lots of voices out there. The key is to find someone you agree with and listen to them. This is where the modern era steps in: Due to social networking one can align oneself with those possessing similar tastes. Any form of media that is recommended by a friend has a better chance of being right then some random guy at the paper who took some film appreciation courses in school. If it hadn’t been for internet friends, I would never have discovered the series Firefly, a personal favorite. Roger Ebert and I don’t agree as much. Sorry, Roger. Glad you are coming back to television.

Now this diatribe has been largely influenced by a side effect of the modern age I have witnessed. When I was a kid, movies played on television all the time. It was what stations used to fill all the hours without original content. I can remember flipping through the channels and settling on many a film that I might have not watched, as I had classified it as “Classic.”

“Classic,” as we all know, means BORING! But, as I flipped channels something might catch my eye, and boom I was sucked in for the ride. I think that my love of movies was helped by the fact that I wasn’t faced with the sheer amount of options that are provided now. I love Netflix, but if I had had it when I was 15 I might have never discovered the wonders of Katherine Hepburn and Spencer Tracy movies, as I would have never sought out Desk Set or Pat and Mike, and that would be a shame.

From time to time I am going to use this column to bring attention to the rich history of cinema. I want to recommend films that should be a part of every cinephile’s mental library. Maybe together we can cut through the fog caused by the availability of plenty and my hope is that my love of film will be contagious.

I will do my best to make sure every film I talk about will be easy to find. I’ll have my write-up, but I am really hoping that I will hear back from you. Tell me what you think. Because the best part of recommending a film, is the conversation that you can have with your friends later.

Drop me a line at Marsneeds@gmail.com or in the comment section below.

Hello, my name is JJ Hawkins, and I am a geek. I started geeking as a young child and by the time I was in sixth grade, I had worked myself up to a steady habit that included comics, cartoons, television, toys, and many of the obsessions that you may even have in your life. Do not make the mistake, my friends, of thinking that I am ashamed of this admission. By no means am I ashamed. If anything I am asking for a rallying cry. We are on the brink of lifelong legitimacy if we can just keep from imploding.

In the last weeks of 2010, the geek community was rocked by one of our own, Patton Oswalt, who called for the end of the age of the geek. Mr. Oswalt feels that the mainstreaming of geek culture has somehow diluted the pool. He asserts that if everyone can name all the characters in Watchmen, that it somehow challenges his sense of self. I can’t say I feel that way. Actually, I believe he used the word “nerd” but in my experience that word has a negative connotation that I have never been able to identify with, so for the purposes of this writing I will use “geek” as an all encompassing term. Rest assured geeks, nerds, dweebs, poindexters, however you self identify, I have your back. Grab a sign and feel free to join this movement.

Now in order to build my point of view let me give you a little bit of my history. I first read a comic way back in 1985. It was Marvel Team Up #144 starring Spider-Man and Iron Man. (Full geek disclosure, I could not remember the issue number, I had to Google it. How embarrassing.) Spider-Man had just come back from the Secret Wars in his new black and white duds and he and “The Iron Avenger” had to team up to battle one of Iron Man’s bad guys, Backlash (aka the villain formerly known as Whiplash). This was kid crack, as one of comics’ greatest strengths was on display. That one story effortlessly made me feel as if I was reading a part of a greater whole. The two heroes just happened to be at the same place and fought together, that never happened in movies. When was the last time John McClane just bumped into Riggs and Murtaugh? Plus, they were fighting a villain that was a third string thug who had a history with Iron Man. I wanted to know what that history was! I wanted to read the next issue! I wanted to grow up to write a column that used exclamation points!

My parents never gave me a hard time about my love of reading comics. Maybe they didn’t like me constantly asking for 65¢ to buy them, but they were happy I always had my eyes on something with words. School however, was not the same story. It wasn’t cool to be a large kid in Mississippi who didn’t want to play football. It really wasn’t cool to be that same kid who was obsessed with both Spider-Man and Sondheim. When heavy metal came into my life, forget it. As other kids formed the kind of cliques that defended them against the outside world, and other groups of wandering feral classmates, I formed one solid friendship. True, it was based on a fondness of many of the same things and formed so solid a foundation that we are friends to this day, but our defenses at that time were frail, at best.

I don’t think that my story is much different than many of you who are reading this. The details may be different, it may be Dungeons and Dragons instead of comics, but the results are the same. To be a geek is to know what it is like to love something the majority of people around you don’t care about. To this day, even though Patton Oswalt and other elders of the geekverse tell us that geekdom is mainstream, I know that if I were to try to start a conversation at work about why Moon Knight should be a cooler concept, and the 2006 series taught us that the “Fist of Khonshu” might have a chance if we gave it to a writer like Matt Fraction the possibilities would be…and I can see the eyes of my co-workers glaze over.

I guess what all of this means to me then is this: If I love something, I want others to love it, too. Because if it makes money it gets to continue going. That is the way the market works. Not enough people read a well reviewed Thor book, it gets the axe. This says to me that it is lack of interest that dilutes the geek waters. Fewer geeks means fewer geek projects. If only one group of people ever quoted The Knights Who Say Ni, then we would have never gotten The Life of Brian. I, for one, believe the world would be sadly lacking if this came to pass.

There may well always be a part of the culture who needs to take credit for finding it first, but that does not mean that those who find it later enjoy it less. I can’t remember who showed me the first issue of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles anymore, but I remember reading it, and then being wowed when those images first showed up on the screen. My life has been happier because of all of this. So of course I say thank you to the elder geeks. But to those of you who maybe haven’t found your geek entry point, or maybe you just had the electric jolt to your brain that I had back in ’85, I say welcome. The more of you that jump in the pool, the higher the water will rise. Let’s all go swimming

JJ and his amazing friend Elizabeth talk about movies. Recent trips to see Black Swan and True Grit spawn spoiler free conversations that span the worlds of Baseball, Ballet, and Bugs. The topics may wander, but this episode always seems to find its way back to everything celluloid.

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The holidays are solidly upon us now, and in my household it is definitely a time where I like to shut off from the rest of the world and spend time with my girlfriend. I’m sure it will surprise no one that movies play a large part in our Christmas day festivities, and I couldn’t imagine having a discussion on our favorite holiday movies and specials without her. So please join me in giving a warm welcome to this week’s co-columnist my girlfriend Elizabeth.

First up, a personal favorite – A Wish for Wings That Work (1991). For those of you who may be unfortunate enough to have never had this special cross your path, it is based on Berkeley Breathed’s children’s book of the same name. In the story, Opus and Bill the Cat, iconic characters from Breathed’s comic strip Bloom County, rush to save Christmas by helping Santa.

JJ– I love Bloom County, so for me this was tantamount to A Charlie Brown Christmas. I have heard that Mr. Breathed was not all that happy with the final product, but I have never understood his disdain. I feel it captures the off-kilter sensibility of the strip nicely, not to mention it is the only Christmas special I know that features an animated hairball.

E– And it’s full of the kind of falderal about the importance of embracing one’s individual talents and idiosyncrasies one expects from any self-respecting children’s special. Awesome. It is beautifully drawn with a rich palette, and the voices, while at first a bit unexpected for characters I hold dear, now comfortably inhabit the cartoon world, even if they are still not those I hear in my head when I read the comic.

Second, let’s take a look at Scrooge (1970). A young Albert Finney plays Ebenezer Scrooge in a musical adaptation of Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol.

JJ– Not only does this hit upon my love of Christmas stories, it’s a freakin’ MUSICAL! A really dark one at that. Scrooge sings about his hatred of the general public in a song that I am not ashamed to admit goes through my head all year long. Even the most jolly song in this film “Thank You Very Much” is sung by those people who owe Scrooge money, and are quite literally dancing on his coffin. It also speaks volumes toward Finney’s abilities that he’s able to bring the decrepit miser to life so perfectly when you see scenes of Scrooge as a young man, and you realize that this is only a short while since he played quite the ladies man in Tom Jones. Visually, this film is a cousin to Dickens’ other musical Oliver! in as much as it feels as if we are watching the very same part of London in a tale from a different part of the year.

E– An important aspect of this adaptation is the charisma of Scrooge before his enlightenment. One can find the same phenomenon in Bill Murray’s portrayal of the same character in Scrooged, a man who makes unsavory decisions, yet remains on a level, both endearing and relatable. We humans don’t, generally speaking, like it when other people ask us for our stuff, either. As a person who lives in a city rife with the pestilence known as “canvassers,” I cringe when those two men meet Finney’s Scrooge outside his work place to ask for a donation. Happens every day here. The casting of a charming actor in this role is vital to lure the viewer into Ebenezer’s frame of mind before the conversion, so that said viewer can experience a similar metamorphosis.

JJ– I agree, if Finney had less charisma, this film would fall apart. He holds this movie together with a compelling gravitas.

Now let’s touch on The Santa Clause (1994). Tim Allen’s movie debut as a man who becomes Santa after an unfortunate rooftop accident.

JJ– I know this is a fairly polarizing film. I have talked to a few people that feel that the rather saccharine nature of the story makes for a hollow movie. Now, I will admit to feeling that the sequel was almost unwatchable, and I never bothered to go back for the third installment. However, I think that the core story of a man trying to connect to a son that he was always too busy to spend time with has a resonance and truth that may be a bit sugary, but it’s the holidays, why not indulge a bit? Not to mention the fact that it puts Judge Reinhold on screen again and that does not happen enough. The comedy may be broad and a bit obvious at times, but I don’t care, it speaks to the kid in me. Plus as a side note, my own father was a rather heavy man with a big white beard, and many was the time a child would come up to him in a park to tell him what they wanted for Christmas.

E– Elves with glittery cheeks, brightly colored costumes, the best version of the North Pole I’ve seen, world class cocoa in fancy pewter mugs, that guy from Numb3rs, unconditional father/son love, the kind of humor you can’t get outside of Tool Time, Tim Allen as a deranged snow-bunny in short-shorts and a parka, Judge Reinhold’s sweaters, Judge Reinhold in Judge Reinhold’s sweaters, and a polar bear directing traffic.

JJ– ‘Nuff Said.

Let’s finish up with an unconventional tale of Christmas, Love Actually (2003). Love Actually is a Christmas movie only in the fact it takes place during the weeks before the holidays. The film consists of many smaller stories that all tell the tale of several couples in many different stages and types of relationships surviving the cold month of December.

JJ– I remember a time in the last year or so, when Elizabeth and I were at the grocery store and on the display televisions they were showing a montage of Hugh Grant movies. As the movies faded one into another, I realized I had been watching and saying “Ooh, I like that one” to each film. It was that day that I realized I had become a massive Hugh Grant fan without even being aware I was even fond of him. Hugh Grant’s prime minister is everything you could want in a Richard Curtis film, a sly, blinky charmer who actually stands up to the American President. But to focus on him is a disservice to this overwhelming cast. Alan Rickman, Emma Thompson, Liam Neeson, Bill Nighy, Colin Firth, and one of my favorite actors, Chiwetel Ejiofor all bring their A game, and with this cast, that is really saying something. It is cliché at this point to refer to a movie with the statement “You’ll laugh, you’ll cry,” but I have never seen a movie where this was more applicable.

E– Love Actually is a fine example of a seamless interweaving of fairly complete narratives, an exercise that has been attempted in many other movies, but often with far less success. Two other recent examples would be Crash and Babel. The latter two films have built multiple complex storylines for characters that were at times a bit flat and less than engaging. The same cannot be said for the inhabitants of the universe of Love Actually. One cares deeply about the flawed, angsty, sweet, and funny people on the screen. Thompson is no mere victim or stalwart matron with a stiff upper lip: she is strong and brave for her children, but vulnerable and wounded to the core. Rickman is no completely callous bastard, stomping unfeelingly over his wife’s dignity. He is a middle-aged man, feeling slightly dull, who falls under the spell of a few moments of attention. Liam Neeson faces the challenges brought by the tragic end of his married life by embracing the beginning of his stepson’s romantic awakenings. This is not just another instance of kissing British butt, although that is a favorite pastime of mine. American actress Laura Linney’s portrayal of a woman so afraid of her sexual self that she hides behind her caregiving duties to her brother is also heartbreaking and sympathetic. Oh, and it qualifies as a Christmas movie because Bill Nighy sings one of the best Christmas songs to come out in the past ten years.

There you go, you beautiful people. A few of our favorite Christmas movies. If you haven’t seen them, consider this a recommendation. If you have, then know that we are watching them along with you this very holiday season. If your opinions differ from ours feel free to send comments to: Marsneeds@gmail.com

I would like to say a very special thank you to Elizabeth for helping me this week. Merry Christmas, sweetheart. Now all of you go out and make some Christmas memories of your own, and I’ll see you back here very soon.

– JJ

Wow, this really turned out to be a much bigger project than I first thought it would be. What do you say to wrapping it up? I know it means skipping a few fun items like The Tick, the Dr. Strange movie, and Captain America in a motorcycle helmet?!?! It pains me for these glaring omissions; however, I never intended this to be a column dedicated to the superhero shows of yore, so I am sure we will struggle on somehow.

There are a few, however, that I wanna touch on, as they got more right than wrong…mostly.

10) Buffy The Vampire Slayer (1997-2003) – I really, REALLY wanted to hate this show. All of the ads looked like teen-ridden angst, and I didn’t have the time. Plus, the only reason I wanted to see the movie was to see Paul Reubens make his return to the spotlight after that whole pornography debacle in Florida (I am still 100% on his side, and think he was railroaded, but that is another column). I never thought for even one second that Buffy was worth my time. Then one day while my girlfriend was at work and I was too bored to summon the will to do anything difficult, like reach for the remote to change the channel, I watched two episodes in a row. As it turns out, it was the perfect two to get a person of my tastes hooked. The first episode was indeed the pilot, so I was introduced to the tentative rag-tag gang that would soon be known as the Scoobys. The second, and this was the crack in the pipe, so to speak, was the musical episode “Once More, With Feeling.” Next thing you knew, I was planning my Sundays around watching two hours of Buffy, one from the first season and one from the sixth. Now, enough personal history, let’s talk about what Buffy got right and wrong. The main thing that I feel that this program nailed was the supporting cast. If we are comparing these shows to the comics they borrow so heavily from, then the rest of the crew are all important. Batman needs Alfred, Spider-Man needs J. Jonah Jameson and Aunt May, because we have to feel that these heroes are well rounded people. If the show was 60 minutes of slugfests, sure some people would watch it for a while, but even the simplest of us will get bored eventually. Which brings me to the weakest point of Buffy, and that is quite frankly…Buffy. While she grew as a character, she was always the least interesting to watch. When your name is in the title, and you keep getting upstaged by a group of introverted geeks and bookworms, you need to get a stronger personality. 11 issues of a 12 issue miniseries.

11) Smallville (2001-infinity) I remember in 2000 when the geek world trembled at the idea that “The CW” was going to base a television show on Bruce Wayne’s journey to becoming Batman. It would borrow heavily from the Paul Dini/Bruce Timm animated series that had several flashback episodes revealing the life Bruce led, traveling the world learning from whoever could teach him, before he settled into the cowl and protected Gotham. I still get weak-kneed thinking how cool that show would have been. But it couldn’t happen because Christopher Nolan wanted to make brilliant movies, and the network decided to substitute Superman for Batman. Hell, a hero is a hero, right? Silly network types. I still say that this show was past its prime the moment that they got a howler monkey to sing the theme. I do not have the words to express how much that song grates on me. It’s as if the entire band Remy Zero is chewing on my spinal column, sending pain to every nerve ending in my body. Well, that is a bit extreme, but I really don’t like it. The cast in Smallville is, in my opinion, uneven. Tom Welling (Superman) grows into the part, but he was pretty flat in the early days, and that lets Michael Rosenbaum (Lex Luthor) own the show. Much like Buffy, it becomes all about the supporting cast. What a villain, though! Rosenbaum is by far the best live action Luthor we have gotten. As much as this show grated on my nerves after a few episodes, I kept watching for several seasons just to watch Lex. Of course, I guess it says volumes about this show that I kept wishing they would get rid of the superhero stuff and just have a drama involving Jonathan and Martha Kent vs. Lionel and Lex Luthor. Just imagining it makes me want to make some popcorn and watch TV. 9 issues out of 12.

12) Heroes (2006-2010) Heroes was unfortunately one of the most disappointing shows in this whole series of columns. Was it because of the crazy time travel? Was it the addition of those awful “Wonder Twin” wannabe characters added for no reason in season 2? Was it the fact that the writers strike left them with large chunks of plot the way Peter Petrelli (Milo Ventimiglia) abandoned his Irish girlfriend in the future (see, like I said, crazy time travel, ugh)? In a word, no. Heroes made me sad because it had so much potential. Most of the first season was a note perfect comic book world. It made its own world and stayed true to the rules it established. Then, it collapsed on its own weight. I read an interview once with the creator of the show Tim Krieg; he stated that he had never read comics and made a point not to read them as the show progressed. He wanted to keep the show fresh by staying away from the established archetypes. As the saying goes, those who do not read bad comics are doomed to repeat them. If ever a show could have used a Geoff Johns or a Brian Michael Bendis to swoop in and carry the show back to sanity, this was it. I have heard from some that the show was getting its feet back by the end, but by then I and many others had already moved on and mourned. First season 11 issues out of 12, second season and beyond 8 of 12.

So now that I have blathered on and on about what I do and do not like in my superhero television, you might ask yourself, what in the heck was the idea I have been talking about? Well, it’s simple really. Here is what my hope for the future of comics on television will be:

Either Marvel or DC, since they are owned by a large movie making company could do this, but in my opinion it is more of a Marvel idea. Why, you ask? Because what I want to do is build a universe. I can hear you now, “Geez, JJ, why don’t you start with a BIG idea?” To this I say, “Quell your sarcasm Sir/Madam, I have a plan!”

Marvel has been trying for the last several years to build a movie universe. I say they are thinking too small. Imagine if you will, a future where they take the actors they have under contract and use them for large screen and small screen crossovers! Before you start to poke holes in my plan with your monetary questions, let me make it a little clearer. What I want is not say, an Iron Man show starring Robert Downey, Jr. That would be crazy. No channel could afford to keep a cast and crew the caliber of the Iron Man movies. However, if the show was set in the Marvel Universe, and Tony Stark just happened to stop by…

The most logical Marvel property to use as a template is, unfortunately, currently impossible. In 2004 Brian Michael Bendis created a comic book series called The Pulse. It was a section of the Daily Bugle dedicated to superhero stories. Sadly, Marvel does not have the rights for Spider-Man or the characters that make up his supporting cast. However, I think you could bend it enough that it would work. I would miss J. Jonah Jameson, but we could still get Jessica Jones tracking down stories and guest appearances by whatever big name character has been cast in a blockbuster. Or, if not big names, you could also use it to cheaply test out new characters. Not sure if the public will flock to an Iron Fist movie? Then have a Heroes for Hire storyline and see how the ratings respond. Plus, as the films already have shots of CGI for the movies, might I suggest a little re-use? I for one wouldn’t complain if Thor flew by the same bush in the theater and at home. Finally, if the budget for the television show could be offset by the already existing contracts and budgets of the feature films, we could see something truly amazing.

Disney/Marvel, I have many more details in my head to make this work, if you want to send bushels of money to get more info out of me just contact me at MarsNeeds@gmail.com.

– JJ

You needn’t feel confused! If you have not read the previous Mars Needs article, please do so; then come back and join the fun!

So, when we left off we were discussing the varying degrees of success achieved by assorted superhero and comic book properties on the television. Let’s continue down that path, but I’m feeling inclusive, so let’s add some properties that didn’t start on the comic page, or maybe fall outside the usual label of superhero, shall we?

6) The Six Million Dollar Man (1974-1978) – While not a superhero in the traditional sense, there is no denying that Steve Austin’s implants take him out of the realm of mere mortal. There is so much about this show that is iconic. So iconic, in fact, that it has become cliché over the years to run in slow motion with the ba-na-na-na-na-na-na (or how ever you made it as a kid) sound. However, you should remember these guys did it first. Imagine a world where they had never figured out the trick of springing over the camera to simulate a high jump. Is that a world you want to live in? I know I don’t. Besides, this guy fought Bigfoot! 9 1/2 issues of a twelve issue miniseries.

7) The Incredible Hulk (1978-1982) In an attempt to keep some semblance of journalistic integrity, I need to make a confession. When I was a child, I had a pair of green inflatable muscles. Pecs, shoulders, and biceps all filled out with the clever application of a nozzle. This was one of the coolest Halloween costumes I ever had, even though the makeup cost me my only chance to bob for apples as a kid. With this information at your disposal, let me state for the record that I think this is the most successful superhero adaptation to date. In the last thirty years, we have made great strides in special effects, but nothing is as gripping as a former Mr. Universe in green greasepaint. This past weekend, I was lucky enough to notice that the entire Hulk series is currently streaming on Netflix. So I sat down and watched an episode for the first time in years. I was more than pleasantly surprised. While storytelling styles have changed quite a bit in the intervening years, the tales told still hold emotional resonance. The Hulk dared to tell depressing stories; almost all the iconic images from this show stem from pain. From the line “Don’t make me angry, Mr. McGee. You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry” to the lonely hitchhiker walking along the road at the end of each episode, backpack on shoulder, head down, one thumb always looking for the ride to the next week…er, town. The Hulk dared to tell the kind of stories I cannot even imagine on television today. Good luck Bruce, I mean, David. 11 issues out of 12

8) The Greatest American Hero (1981-1983) I know exactly what is in your head right now. “Look at what’s happened to me-e, I can’t believe it myself. Suddenly I’m up on top of the world, should have been somebody else…Believe it or not, I’m walkin’ on air….” (Let the record show, I typed those out of memory.) It’s hard for me to even comprehend that this show only ran for three seasons. When I was young it was omnipresent. Sure it has the Stephen J. Cannell formula working for it: Mix two parts humor to one part action and Viola, a hit! But that changes nothing. This show is just fun. Interestingly enough, it is also streaming on Netflix so I watched a bit of it, too. Not only is it almost exactly the show I remembered from childhood, it made me think of the same thing. 99% of the problems the characters get into on this show would be straightened out in no time if Ralph (William Katt) would just grow a pair and suit up. The little me made a promise to myself and that if I ever get a super suit, I will use it. You hear me Little Green Men? If you need a champion, I’m right here. Lay that sucker right on me, instructions or not. 10 issues out of 12

9) The Flash (1990-1991) Only one season. Shortest run of the bunch. It could easily be skipped, except one thing. I liked this show. This is the first show I watched and understood how ratings affected it. Here is a true story for you. When this show was airing, all the usual pundits declared it to be a show in trouble. It seemed it might get cancelled any second. I would make sure to be home and in front of the television each and every week to help Barry Allen (John Wesley Shipp) outrun the axe. I hoped and prayed as only a child can for something magical to happen to save my beloved Flash. Then it happened. My family got a Nielsen ratings book. This little tale has no great ending, as even though I recorded my viewing habits faithfully, the program only had 22 episodes. That began my path to the dark-hearted husk I am today, but I digress….The Flash was fun, but not perfect. So what? It deserved to be on the air if for no other reason than it cast Mark Hamill as the Trickster. It may well be the closest we ever get to seeing what his live action Joker might have been. 9 issues out of 12

Well folks, I don’t think we are done with this topic yet. So my suggestion for the bestest show ever will have to wait. After all, there are a few more shows to touch on including a show featuring an ex-cheerleader with a proclivity for wooden stakes and one that jumped the shark during the pilot but continued on and on and on…

See you next week. Feel free to drop me a line at MarsNeeds@Gmail.com.

– JJ

I love superheroes. I always have. Whatever part of your DNA that connects with people in capes, I have in spades. It translates to all mediums, too. Comics, movies, I even watched the new show No Ordinary Family after I was told it was weak, just to get my hero fix. Which brings me to this question: Can a decent superhero show be done on television?

For the sake of this pondering, I am going to eliminate animation. America has decided that any cartoon is for children, and no matter how many times Pixar or Miyazaki prove that animation is a powerful medium, mainstream audiences refuse to admit the obvious fact that we should be animating our superheroes. By the time Green Lantern comes out we will be using so much CGI that we are practically animating them already, but that is a column for another day, I think.

To see how we got to the current state and move toward the future of superheroes on the boob tube, let’s have a look at some of what they have offered us in the past, shall we?

1) The Adventures of Superman (1952-1958) – We start strong. This show holds up, I think. Granted, it holds up as a relic to a different time. George Reeves is the kind of Superman that would be a great host for a barbecue. While he was a large man, that’s all he was. Large is not SUPER. The pacing is slow and the stakes always seem low enough that any strong Joe with a bullet-proof vest could probably save Lois from the ruffians just as well. We will give it 8 issues of a twelve issue miniseries.

2) Batman (1966-1968) – I have always had a bit of mixed feelings about this show. I loved it as a child, outgrew it as a young man, and now I view it as a fun oddity. I have always wondered if the only way to look at it honestly is to have lived during its run. For instance, imagine as a fan of the superhero genre, having two episodes per week of Adam West and Burt Ward defeating the evil whoever. It is almost impossible to conceptualize any scripted show now pulling off such a feat. The breakneck pacing of the writing staff simply must be applauded. Plus, the style of the show may have worn out its welcome in just two years, but the issue of quality was never questioned. The negative of this program, of course, is that it dominated the way Batman and other superheroes were seen for decades. It wasn’t until Frank Miller re-envisioned the character in The Dark Knight Returns that we were able to find the Batman we all know and love today, the one that is much closer to what Bob Kane and Bill Finger wanted us to see. 9 issues of 12.

3) The Amazing Spider-Man (1977-1979) – I possess a bias towards this one. It’s a terrible show. I admit it. I love it. The pacing is bad, the storytelling is unforgivable, and it’s not really even connected to the Spider-Man mythos. He never fights a super villain, and every time Aunt May appears, she is played by a different actress. Let me say that again, whenever the main character’s only relative, the whole reason he finds the strength to fight evil, the person that in the comics he throws away his marriage to save appears (which is not often) she is played by A DIFFERENT PERSON EVERY TIME. Even in the face of all this I watch it whenever it is on in front of me. It’s like morphine. It dulls my senses enough that I can forgive the backwards film to show the webbing, or the fact that when he climbs on the walls his body moves effortlessly, almost as if his body was propelled by his torso instead of his arms and legs. Sigh, it’s so dreamy. 4 issues of 12 (but a solid 15 in my house).

4) Wonder Woman (1976-1979) – Poor Wonder Woman, she just never gets a solid break. A great character that is clotheslined by bad writing. It seems to happen in every medium, and sadly television is no different. The first attempt to bring Wonder Woman to TV was a silly attempt to get the Batman audience. As it was going to focus on Diana Prince as a comically plain woman and not an Amazon, thank heavens they abandoned that concept in the pilot phase. Wonder Woman was gathering notice as an object for women’s empowerment, even garnering a cover on the first issue of Ms. Magazine, such a step backwards was insulting. After another failed attempt by Cathy Lee Crosby, they finally got something right by casting the amazing Lynda Carter, whose charm made the series watchable. Somehow, the trappings of the character don’t translate to a television budget, the spandex unitard, the invisible jet, and the lasso that is in fact just a rope, just seem slightly underwhelming on the small screen. However, Ms Carter brings enthusiasm to the role; it is impossible not to have some fun. 8 issues of 12.

5) Shazam! (1974-1977) – I kinda remember seeing a bit of this as a kid. I remember liking it, but how could you not? Captain Marvel has so many facets that speak directly to me as a young boy. I was obsessed with mythology, so the idea that a small child could speak an acronym of several gods’ initials and become a superhero? Count me in! This series avoids the wizard Shazam entirely by having Billy Batson talk directly to the Council of Gods that bestow him with the mystical lightning that gives him his power. Yep, lightning gives him his powers and costume. That seems a bit cooler than sliding down a pole or spinning in a circle, eh? Ultimately, like The Amazing Spider-Man we talked about earlier, it suffers from a need to avoid super villains and violence almost entirely. It seems that the gods bestow mortals with the ability to change a tire when you really need it. Great concept, but sadly, not the wonder it could be. 5 issues of 12.

Well, that’s it for part one. Next week we will look at a few more, some that have origins outside the world of comics, and if we have time, I will pitch my idea for the bestest superhero show ever!

– JJ

Let it be? Or not to let it be. That is the question. Is it nobler in the eyes of the studios to let their past classics gather dust, or to take arms against the sea of bad buzz and by opposing them, remake their films?

Hollywood is remaking films left and right. But what I want to ask today, is why not? Now I can hear the cries of some: “Hollywood has just run out of ideas!” or “Why won’t they stop raping my childhood?” I would like to point out that Hollywood has been doing this all along.

Now before I go too much further, I would like to mention that my background in theater colors my view. The idea of doing a play just once with only one cast is nonsensical in this environment. Can you imagine a world where Hamlet was performed in the 1600’s and then gone forever? This would prevent legendary actors such as John Gielgud, Laurence Olivier, and even recently David Tennant from having a go at the ol’ Dane.

I say this because film, like stage, is a medium of collaboration. Although we consider it the director’s medium, he would get nowhere without someone running the camera, the lights, holding the mics, etc. The main difference is that film captures images that linger, whereas stage is only remembered by the people who experience it in the theater.

By this logic, if a stage play can survive many different people putting their stamp upon it, then why can’t a film? Perhaps different directors and different actors can actually change a story enough to give it a worthwhile second chance? Not only do I say yes, but a perfect example has been done recently.

In 2008, a fantastic Swedish vampire film called Let The Right One In was made. I was lucky enough to live in a city that plays small foreign films at the theater and saw it then. I was more than pleasantly surprised to see the vampire film, a genre I thought rather tired at this point, revitalized in a way I never saw coming.

The rest of this article will contain some spoilers. You have been warned.

Let The Right One In tells the story of Oskar and Eli. Oskar is a young boy who is soft, hounded by bullies, and harboring great anger he is impotent to vent. When he meets Eli, the new girl in his apartment building, he hopes for the friend he has been longing for.

The film that follows is not only a new viewpoint on the vampire tale, but one of the sweetest commentaries on first love I have ever witnessed. I cannot recommend this film enough.

When it was announced that the American director Matt Reeves was going to remake the film under the title Let Me In, I, like many others, proclaimed it a waste of celluloid (or whatever it is they shoot on these days). The first film was beautiful, moody, cold, slightly washed out, and I could see no reason for another person to try to do it again. I felt it just came down to the American hatred of reading subtitles. I can honestly say, while my disgust in those who refuse to read subtitles is still in place, I was quite wrong about the film I witnessed.

What Matt Reeves gave us was not a soulless retelling of a story we already knew. He did what the best stage directors do, he looked at the bones of the previous movie, and saw how he could make the story his own. Reeves manages to keep the color palette and feel of the film similar, however, he takes command of the medium and gives us one as powerful as the original.

Where the Swedish film makes the young attraction a bit of brightness in a rather dark world, Reeves uses this same attraction to add a level of bleakness that the original was lacking. In both films Eli, or Abby as the American film calls her, arrives in Oskar, or Owen’s life with an adult. As Eli’s secret unfolds, you realize that the man she lives with is not a father figure, but rather a Renfield type who cares for her during the day and makes sure she can feed. The Swedish film makes this character, known only as “The Father,” a fool, someone to be scolded and removed to advance the plot. Reeves reimagines this character, first by casting the amazing Richard Jenkins in the role, and second, by letting the actors develop a much more dynamic relationship. The Father, thus, becomes someone who is much more tragic. This changes the relationship between Eli and Oskar as we realize the love that is present in both films becomes the bond that will never let him live a life of his own. Although you may be happy for his new found freedom, the American film makes you fully aware of the price he paid, in opposition to the Swedish film which feels like a fully happy ending.

As I left the theater after having watched Let Me In, I wasn’t sure how to think about what I had witnessed. On one hand, I could admit that I liked it and risk being thought of as another American who won’t “read a film”, or I could lie, keep my film snobbery in tact and say the stereotypical “the original was better.” I decided on neither. The fact is I consider both not only great films, but possibly modern classics.

With this in mind I ask you, if musicians can cover songs, if stage actors can revive a play, hell, if a different writer can put his own stamp on a long running comic book, then please tell me why we can’t just calm down and accept the simple fact that a remade film just might be something wonderful?

– JJ