Doc – ‘I need fuel!’

If you play Forza Motorsport 3 then you may see this b-e-a-uty racing around Xbox Live! Put together by the ever-amazing Tom Harrington. Tom, Doom salutes you!

‘ I got killer buds, a power stem, nasty pods, and I’m using theeem! ‘

*ahem*

Hi there! Just a little post from me to you, and Audrey too: the podcast feeds for both Riding in Cars with Boys, and Mars Needs Podcasts are now fully operational for you to annihilate, Death Star-style.

You can find each in the below locations. Mouse, move, click, enjoy!

http://www.thewebsiteofdoom.com/category/mars-needs-podcasts/feed/

http://www.thewebsiteofdoom.com/category/riding-in-cars-with-boys/feed/

All our articles, comic strips and flagship podcast remain, and we are humbled to welcome a second podcast into the fray. Mars Needs Podcasts is hosted by J.J; an actor and pop culture junkie located in Portland, OR. With assistance from his amazing friends they will do their best to dazzle, entertain, amuse, or if all else fails… bewilder.

Your feedback, good or bad, is always valuable to us. Feel free to comment on what you see around here. Even better, if you would like to Join us for discussions on Twitter or Facebook, please use the Social Links button at the top of this page. Our wonderful group of contributors can also be viewed from the Staff of Doom page.

And from here on, we hope you have a good giggle and a fine read via Doom. We start 2011 with a new Leave Luck to Heaven New Year special, and Mars Needs Podcast #89! See you… out there!

JJ and his amazing friend Elizabeth wish the listeners of Mars Needs Podcasts a very heartfelt Merry Christmas. The two share stories of their Christmas’ together, some happy, some sad, and some a bit off-color. Thank you all for letting your Christmas and ours cross paths.

Click here to listen!

Click here to download!

Welcome to Hands Down, DOOM’s own look into the world of the folks that frequent this sordid world of geekery. This week; everyone takes a visit to Santa and gets filled with the Christmas spirit… Kinda.

The holidays are solidly upon us now, and in my household it is definitely a time where I like to shut off from the rest of the world and spend time with my girlfriend. I’m sure it will surprise no one that movies play a large part in our Christmas day festivities, and I couldn’t imagine having a discussion on our favorite holiday movies and specials without her. So please join me in giving a warm welcome to this week’s co-columnist my girlfriend Elizabeth.

First up, a personal favorite – A Wish for Wings That Work (1991). For those of you who may be unfortunate enough to have never had this special cross your path, it is based on Berkeley Breathed’s children’s book of the same name. In the story, Opus and Bill the Cat, iconic characters from Breathed’s comic strip Bloom County, rush to save Christmas by helping Santa.

JJ– I love Bloom County, so for me this was tantamount to A Charlie Brown Christmas. I have heard that Mr. Breathed was not all that happy with the final product, but I have never understood his disdain. I feel it captures the off-kilter sensibility of the strip nicely, not to mention it is the only Christmas special I know that features an animated hairball.

E– And it’s full of the kind of falderal about the importance of embracing one’s individual talents and idiosyncrasies one expects from any self-respecting children’s special. Awesome. It is beautifully drawn with a rich palette, and the voices, while at first a bit unexpected for characters I hold dear, now comfortably inhabit the cartoon world, even if they are still not those I hear in my head when I read the comic.

Second, let’s take a look at Scrooge (1970). A young Albert Finney plays Ebenezer Scrooge in a musical adaptation of Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol.

JJ– Not only does this hit upon my love of Christmas stories, it’s a freakin’ MUSICAL! A really dark one at that. Scrooge sings about his hatred of the general public in a song that I am not ashamed to admit goes through my head all year long. Even the most jolly song in this film “Thank You Very Much” is sung by those people who owe Scrooge money, and are quite literally dancing on his coffin. It also speaks volumes toward Finney’s abilities that he’s able to bring the decrepit miser to life so perfectly when you see scenes of Scrooge as a young man, and you realize that this is only a short while since he played quite the ladies man in Tom Jones. Visually, this film is a cousin to Dickens’ other musical Oliver! in as much as it feels as if we are watching the very same part of London in a tale from a different part of the year.

E– An important aspect of this adaptation is the charisma of Scrooge before his enlightenment. One can find the same phenomenon in Bill Murray’s portrayal of the same character in Scrooged, a man who makes unsavory decisions, yet remains on a level, both endearing and relatable. We humans don’t, generally speaking, like it when other people ask us for our stuff, either. As a person who lives in a city rife with the pestilence known as “canvassers,” I cringe when those two men meet Finney’s Scrooge outside his work place to ask for a donation. Happens every day here. The casting of a charming actor in this role is vital to lure the viewer into Ebenezer’s frame of mind before the conversion, so that said viewer can experience a similar metamorphosis.

JJ– I agree, if Finney had less charisma, this film would fall apart. He holds this movie together with a compelling gravitas.

Now let’s touch on The Santa Clause (1994). Tim Allen’s movie debut as a man who becomes Santa after an unfortunate rooftop accident.

JJ– I know this is a fairly polarizing film. I have talked to a few people that feel that the rather saccharine nature of the story makes for a hollow movie. Now, I will admit to feeling that the sequel was almost unwatchable, and I never bothered to go back for the third installment. However, I think that the core story of a man trying to connect to a son that he was always too busy to spend time with has a resonance and truth that may be a bit sugary, but it’s the holidays, why not indulge a bit? Not to mention the fact that it puts Judge Reinhold on screen again and that does not happen enough. The comedy may be broad and a bit obvious at times, but I don’t care, it speaks to the kid in me. Plus as a side note, my own father was a rather heavy man with a big white beard, and many was the time a child would come up to him in a park to tell him what they wanted for Christmas.

E– Elves with glittery cheeks, brightly colored costumes, the best version of the North Pole I’ve seen, world class cocoa in fancy pewter mugs, that guy from Numb3rs, unconditional father/son love, the kind of humor you can’t get outside of Tool Time, Tim Allen as a deranged snow-bunny in short-shorts and a parka, Judge Reinhold’s sweaters, Judge Reinhold in Judge Reinhold’s sweaters, and a polar bear directing traffic.

JJ– ‘Nuff Said.

Let’s finish up with an unconventional tale of Christmas, Love Actually (2003). Love Actually is a Christmas movie only in the fact it takes place during the weeks before the holidays. The film consists of many smaller stories that all tell the tale of several couples in many different stages and types of relationships surviving the cold month of December.

JJ– I remember a time in the last year or so, when Elizabeth and I were at the grocery store and on the display televisions they were showing a montage of Hugh Grant movies. As the movies faded one into another, I realized I had been watching and saying “Ooh, I like that one” to each film. It was that day that I realized I had become a massive Hugh Grant fan without even being aware I was even fond of him. Hugh Grant’s prime minister is everything you could want in a Richard Curtis film, a sly, blinky charmer who actually stands up to the American President. But to focus on him is a disservice to this overwhelming cast. Alan Rickman, Emma Thompson, Liam Neeson, Bill Nighy, Colin Firth, and one of my favorite actors, Chiwetel Ejiofor all bring their A game, and with this cast, that is really saying something. It is cliché at this point to refer to a movie with the statement “You’ll laugh, you’ll cry,” but I have never seen a movie where this was more applicable.

E– Love Actually is a fine example of a seamless interweaving of fairly complete narratives, an exercise that has been attempted in many other movies, but often with far less success. Two other recent examples would be Crash and Babel. The latter two films have built multiple complex storylines for characters that were at times a bit flat and less than engaging. The same cannot be said for the inhabitants of the universe of Love Actually. One cares deeply about the flawed, angsty, sweet, and funny people on the screen. Thompson is no mere victim or stalwart matron with a stiff upper lip: she is strong and brave for her children, but vulnerable and wounded to the core. Rickman is no completely callous bastard, stomping unfeelingly over his wife’s dignity. He is a middle-aged man, feeling slightly dull, who falls under the spell of a few moments of attention. Liam Neeson faces the challenges brought by the tragic end of his married life by embracing the beginning of his stepson’s romantic awakenings. This is not just another instance of kissing British butt, although that is a favorite pastime of mine. American actress Laura Linney’s portrayal of a woman so afraid of her sexual self that she hides behind her caregiving duties to her brother is also heartbreaking and sympathetic. Oh, and it qualifies as a Christmas movie because Bill Nighy sings one of the best Christmas songs to come out in the past ten years.

There you go, you beautiful people. A few of our favorite Christmas movies. If you haven’t seen them, consider this a recommendation. If you have, then know that we are watching them along with you this very holiday season. If your opinions differ from ours feel free to send comments to: Marsneeds@gmail.com

I would like to say a very special thank you to Elizabeth for helping me this week. Merry Christmas, sweetheart. Now all of you go out and make some Christmas memories of your own, and I’ll see you back here very soon.

– JJ

Wow, this really turned out to be a much bigger project than I first thought it would be. What do you say to wrapping it up? I know it means skipping a few fun items like The Tick, the Dr. Strange movie, and Captain America in a motorcycle helmet?!?! It pains me for these glaring omissions; however, I never intended this to be a column dedicated to the superhero shows of yore, so I am sure we will struggle on somehow.

There are a few, however, that I wanna touch on, as they got more right than wrong…mostly.

10) Buffy The Vampire Slayer (1997-2003) – I really, REALLY wanted to hate this show. All of the ads looked like teen-ridden angst, and I didn’t have the time. Plus, the only reason I wanted to see the movie was to see Paul Reubens make his return to the spotlight after that whole pornography debacle in Florida (I am still 100% on his side, and think he was railroaded, but that is another column). I never thought for even one second that Buffy was worth my time. Then one day while my girlfriend was at work and I was too bored to summon the will to do anything difficult, like reach for the remote to change the channel, I watched two episodes in a row. As it turns out, it was the perfect two to get a person of my tastes hooked. The first episode was indeed the pilot, so I was introduced to the tentative rag-tag gang that would soon be known as the Scoobys. The second, and this was the crack in the pipe, so to speak, was the musical episode “Once More, With Feeling.” Next thing you knew, I was planning my Sundays around watching two hours of Buffy, one from the first season and one from the sixth. Now, enough personal history, let’s talk about what Buffy got right and wrong. The main thing that I feel that this program nailed was the supporting cast. If we are comparing these shows to the comics they borrow so heavily from, then the rest of the crew are all important. Batman needs Alfred, Spider-Man needs J. Jonah Jameson and Aunt May, because we have to feel that these heroes are well rounded people. If the show was 60 minutes of slugfests, sure some people would watch it for a while, but even the simplest of us will get bored eventually. Which brings me to the weakest point of Buffy, and that is quite frankly…Buffy. While she grew as a character, she was always the least interesting to watch. When your name is in the title, and you keep getting upstaged by a group of introverted geeks and bookworms, you need to get a stronger personality. 11 issues of a 12 issue miniseries.

11) Smallville (2001-infinity) I remember in 2000 when the geek world trembled at the idea that “The CW” was going to base a television show on Bruce Wayne’s journey to becoming Batman. It would borrow heavily from the Paul Dini/Bruce Timm animated series that had several flashback episodes revealing the life Bruce led, traveling the world learning from whoever could teach him, before he settled into the cowl and protected Gotham. I still get weak-kneed thinking how cool that show would have been. But it couldn’t happen because Christopher Nolan wanted to make brilliant movies, and the network decided to substitute Superman for Batman. Hell, a hero is a hero, right? Silly network types. I still say that this show was past its prime the moment that they got a howler monkey to sing the theme. I do not have the words to express how much that song grates on me. It’s as if the entire band Remy Zero is chewing on my spinal column, sending pain to every nerve ending in my body. Well, that is a bit extreme, but I really don’t like it. The cast in Smallville is, in my opinion, uneven. Tom Welling (Superman) grows into the part, but he was pretty flat in the early days, and that lets Michael Rosenbaum (Lex Luthor) own the show. Much like Buffy, it becomes all about the supporting cast. What a villain, though! Rosenbaum is by far the best live action Luthor we have gotten. As much as this show grated on my nerves after a few episodes, I kept watching for several seasons just to watch Lex. Of course, I guess it says volumes about this show that I kept wishing they would get rid of the superhero stuff and just have a drama involving Jonathan and Martha Kent vs. Lionel and Lex Luthor. Just imagining it makes me want to make some popcorn and watch TV. 9 issues out of 12.

12) Heroes (2006-2010) Heroes was unfortunately one of the most disappointing shows in this whole series of columns. Was it because of the crazy time travel? Was it the addition of those awful “Wonder Twin” wannabe characters added for no reason in season 2? Was it the fact that the writers strike left them with large chunks of plot the way Peter Petrelli (Milo Ventimiglia) abandoned his Irish girlfriend in the future (see, like I said, crazy time travel, ugh)? In a word, no. Heroes made me sad because it had so much potential. Most of the first season was a note perfect comic book world. It made its own world and stayed true to the rules it established. Then, it collapsed on its own weight. I read an interview once with the creator of the show Tim Krieg; he stated that he had never read comics and made a point not to read them as the show progressed. He wanted to keep the show fresh by staying away from the established archetypes. As the saying goes, those who do not read bad comics are doomed to repeat them. If ever a show could have used a Geoff Johns or a Brian Michael Bendis to swoop in and carry the show back to sanity, this was it. I have heard from some that the show was getting its feet back by the end, but by then I and many others had already moved on and mourned. First season 11 issues out of 12, second season and beyond 8 of 12.

So now that I have blathered on and on about what I do and do not like in my superhero television, you might ask yourself, what in the heck was the idea I have been talking about? Well, it’s simple really. Here is what my hope for the future of comics on television will be:

Either Marvel or DC, since they are owned by a large movie making company could do this, but in my opinion it is more of a Marvel idea. Why, you ask? Because what I want to do is build a universe. I can hear you now, “Geez, JJ, why don’t you start with a BIG idea?” To this I say, “Quell your sarcasm Sir/Madam, I have a plan!”

Marvel has been trying for the last several years to build a movie universe. I say they are thinking too small. Imagine if you will, a future where they take the actors they have under contract and use them for large screen and small screen crossovers! Before you start to poke holes in my plan with your monetary questions, let me make it a little clearer. What I want is not say, an Iron Man show starring Robert Downey, Jr. That would be crazy. No channel could afford to keep a cast and crew the caliber of the Iron Man movies. However, if the show was set in the Marvel Universe, and Tony Stark just happened to stop by…

The most logical Marvel property to use as a template is, unfortunately, currently impossible. In 2004 Brian Michael Bendis created a comic book series called The Pulse. It was a section of the Daily Bugle dedicated to superhero stories. Sadly, Marvel does not have the rights for Spider-Man or the characters that make up his supporting cast. However, I think you could bend it enough that it would work. I would miss J. Jonah Jameson, but we could still get Jessica Jones tracking down stories and guest appearances by whatever big name character has been cast in a blockbuster. Or, if not big names, you could also use it to cheaply test out new characters. Not sure if the public will flock to an Iron Fist movie? Then have a Heroes for Hire storyline and see how the ratings respond. Plus, as the films already have shots of CGI for the movies, might I suggest a little re-use? I for one wouldn’t complain if Thor flew by the same bush in the theater and at home. Finally, if the budget for the television show could be offset by the already existing contracts and budgets of the feature films, we could see something truly amazing.

Disney/Marvel, I have many more details in my head to make this work, if you want to send bushels of money to get more info out of me just contact me at MarsNeeds@gmail.com.

– JJ

In this, our glorious 32nd episode, we return after a weeks break to talk about mostly the same stuff. The Walking Dead episode 5 is discussed as well as video games, and lots of little news items that I found interesting last week. We’re gonna try to be a bit more consistent and get a regular day to record…or maybe just not talk about current affairs so much so that we don’t seem dated. Sorry.

Click here to listen!

Or download here.

Intro: Mos Def – Revelations
Intermision: Belle & Sebastian – Get Me Away From Here I’m Dying (3:25)
Outro: Robert Johnson – Kind Hearted Woman Blues

– M

Welcome to Hands Down, DOOM’s own look into the world of the folks that frequent this sordid world of geekery. This week; lazing on a Sunday afternoon.

Massive sandbox style games have become progressively more and more common. We have ones set in the old west, fantasy lands, inner cities, and probably just about anywhere else. This game style leads to some problems, such as getting absorbed in the free exploration to the point that the story is lost or forgotten. Kirby’s Epic Yarn doesn’t worry about these issues as the gameplay harkens back to a classic game style of 2D platforming.

The first thing that stands out with the game is the art style. All the textures, backgrounds, and even characters are made of fabric. This is one of those times when just by looking at something in a game I can envision exactly how everything feels. Besides weather related scenes in games, I’m not sure I’ve ever really been compelled to think of any tactile response just from visuals. This style of background also lends itself well to being a 2D platformer. Now in fairness, the game is not completely 2D as there are times that you can go behind bits of fabric so it’s more like you are playing on a true fabric map. This kind of 3D aspect lends well to the idea this fabric world is real. Kirby is interacting with fabrics as if he really did move behind it or something causes a ripple in the fabric.

The story mainly unfolds at the beginning and between levels. It’s not really a complex story as all there is to it is the idea that Kirby has been pulled into a yarn world and is trying to get back. Taking a page from Yoshi’s Story the game is presented in a storybook fashion. During the cutscenes that movie the story along there is actually a narrator. The guy they got to do this is one of those guys you envision reading to kids. Any character he reads for he gives a different voice and the entire time he talks with a very soothing tone. Compared to Yoshi’s Story the narrator really adds that extra touch to the storybook theme.

Now the gameplay is fun and easy. This really does play out like an old school platformer. You can pickup the controls in no time. Because of this the first level being a tutorial on how to move around was pretty insulting to older gamers. Later levels when the controls would come up made sense however as these were specialized control schemes. Another part that makes the game way too easy is the inability to die. If you fall down a hole or are attacked you can lose the gems you collected but that’s all you’ll lose. This does tie into the replay value though as each level has three hidden items to find and based on the number of jewels you collect there are medals awarded.

The replay value of this game relies on the idea that you did not take the time to collect everything. The further into the game you get the harder this actually is. On top of this there are five types of mini-games to play through that count toward the 100%. This ranges from 13 to like 20 levels per type. The racing mini-game was my favourite but by far the easiest. The other opportunity for replay value is in the two player mode. It is far more likely you went through this in one player so playing again with a friend might be some fun. I say might because it may be frustrating for some people.

The more mature gamer is probably going to be put off by the childish graphics. If the case is that the graphics keep you from playing a game then you either are probably not good at platformers or you’re not secure with yourself. Just get over that attitude though because this game is divine and one that you can come back to just for a good time.

– Jasmine, founder of Super Happy Sparkle Onigiri Brigade.