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Published on January 7th, 2013 | by JJ


The Drive In Of DOOM! Spider-Man 3

Hello and welcome back to DOOM!’s exploration of the Comic Book film genre hosted by Aaron Poole and JJ Hawkins. This month we look at the third of Sam Rami’s Spider-Man films. Man, this movie sucks. Recorded at Dragon*Con last year, Aaron and JJ thought about redoing the episode and seeing if it could be done better, but nope, this is what this deserves. You will hear about a contest during this episode and…ALL ENTRIES ARE TO BE IN THE COMMENT SECTION OF THIS EPISODE.

This is the only kinda cool image I could find. I swear, it must not really be from the film.

Most of the film looks more like that. OOOO, his fist went into sand…yawn.

Recycle villains…TO THE EXTREME!

But Topher Grace has to be the stupidest thing, right?

Oh dear God, NO! My eyes…my eyes!

If you want to drink, take one every time Aaron says the magic phrase, “Fuck this movie!” but be warned, he says is a lot. A LOT. And seriously…fuck this movie.

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About the Author


JJ Hawkins currently lives in Portland, Oregon. As a vegetarian, thespian and goatee grower he fits in perfectly.

  • Harvey

    There’s no ‘Click to download here’ link. :(

    • JJ

      Thank you, it is fixed now.

  • Harvey

    Total eclipse of the heart
    oh yeah and the boobs
    emo spidy blows so do haikus

  • http://twitter.com/Savagepoet Savagepoet

    heard this movie sucks
    little chance I will watch it
    and fuck this movie

  • http://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001299179122 Joshua Mosteit

    This film grinds my nuts
    Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
    Fuck you two for making me watch this goddamn fucking movie again

    I may have broken format there.

    I saw this movie opening weekend at a sold out theater, three rows from the screen, and two parents and their four kids packing into the two seats right next to me. To this day, possibly THE worst theater experience I ever had coupled with one of THE worst films I’d ever seen, matched only by the Halloween day Paranormal Activity screening I went to.

  • http://willbinns.wordpress.com Will

    I saw this in the cinema too! With my mum and her boyfriend. Everyone agreed it was terrible. Also I didn’t know whether to do a 5-7-5 haiku or a 7-5-7 haiku so I’ll do both.

    Hey there spiderman
    What’s up with the black suit
    Oh it makes you dance

    So many villains in this
    No motivation
    Stuff just happens then it stops

  • http://aaronfever.blogspot.ie Aaron

    I’m loving/hating all the entries so far. But especially that most of them don’t actually get the haiku format right. I love you guys.

    • http://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001299179122 Joshua Mosteit

      It’s called poetic license, prick.

  • Riko

    Heard about this here haiku contest and decided to submit two. An English one and a more traditional one.

    Daddy issues, sand, and
    alien goo villains abound.
    Hero fails viewers.


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