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Published on January 8th, 2011 | by Aaron

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Poole’s Polls: January 2011

Well hello there! And welcome to the first of my polls on DOOM.

Every month, I’m going to survey you, our gorgeous and treasured readers, on subjects as wide ranging as geeky silly things to silly silly things. Yes, we take our questions very seriously.

But by doing so I hope that we can not only create a gauge on the finger on the pulse on the arm of the world but also create needless competition between folks.

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Our first poll this month will be The Clash Of The ‘Tache as we pit famous moustache owners against each other in a popularity contest for the ages.

There are so many worthy opponents but I’ve whittled it down to my Top 6.

So who is your favourite moustachio man?

RUFUS HOUND

The English comedian has sported this 70s stunner for many a year now. His dedication to the moustache made all the more impressive by his trimming ability. Whether or not it increases or impares his comedy prowess remains to be seen but if his wife has let him keep it this long, he must be doing something right.

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TOM SELLECK

First of all; LADIES, CONTROL YOURSELVES! Yes he is the hairy sex god Tom Selleck but he is also an actor of considerable respect. Sure, he may look a bit like a grizzly bear, but he also looks like a tiger in the sack. And by sack, I mean bed. I understand people don’t really sleep in sacks anymore but it’s just a phrase.

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RON JEREMY

Speaking of sacks… Ron Jeremy is an “adult movie” star of considerable girth. He also has been a moustache aficionado for decades now. In fact, I would argue he is probably the reason for the term “porn moustache”. His lady co-stars over the years have asked for his back to be shaved but not his lip. The hairy back poll will be another time.

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BURT REYNOLDS

He may be in his 70s now, and looking like well worn leather, but there was a time when Burt Reynolds was the man in Hollywood that men wanted to be and ladies want to make out with. Some men also wanted to make out with him too. It would be wrong of me to ignore that fact. Was his power purely in his face caterpillar?

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DANA SNYDER

A relative newcomer to the world of the ‘tache, Dana has made up for his rookie status with flair, and enthusiasm. His glasses may sometimes make him look like he’s wearing a Groucho Marx mask but knowing Dana, that’s probably a look he was going for. Being a voice-over artist it won’t affect his career but will it affect your heart strings?

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MARIO

Possibly THE moustache of our generation, Mario The Plumber is both a man of action and a man of romance, using his skills to kill turtles (not as cruel as it sounds) and save princesses. He may suffer from idenitity dissorders; a desperate need to inform us that “it’s-a me, Mario!” but we know there is only one. Is he your Number 1 moustache though?

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So that’s your lot. Time to make a decision, who is your favourite moustachiod man?

The voting closes at the end of the month and I’ll announce the winner in the February installment of Poole’s Polls!

Clash of the ‘Tache

  • Tom Selleck (46%, 16 Votes)
  • Dana Snyder (17%, 6 Votes)
  • Burt Reynolds (14%, 5 Votes)
  • Mario (14%, 5 Votes)
  • Rufus Hound (6%, 2 Votes)
  • Ron Jeremy (3%, 1 Votes)

Total Voters: 35

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About the Author

Aaron

Aaron Fever has been tormenting the internet for over 10 years now. He is still waiting to find a reason for doing so.



  • John

    I plumped for Mister Selleck.

  • JJ

    Burt! No one has a ‘stache like the ol’ Bandit. NO ONE!

  • JK Hulon

    Magnum. Nuff said…

  • Sharpo

    Love me some Tom Selleck but Rufus Hound touches me in places Tom can’t. Namely my soul, not my balls.

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