Aaron’s WWEport – One Thousand

The 1000th episode of RAW was aired this past week, and as per usual Vince turned it into equal parts car crash and joyous entertainment. I won’t go into a full break down of the episode but I would like to talk about the moments that stuck out for me. Overall, it was a decent show, nothing more, but it was a “kitchen sink” sort of broadcast with so many crazy parts that it deserves some mention.

As always when reviewing a show like this, if you haven’t seen it yet, there be spoilers a-hoy-hoy:

The DX Reunion

The sad state of Sean Waltman’s physical and psychological appearance aside, I was super happy to see the team back on screen. I have a huge soft spot in my heart for Billy Gunn, he was one of my favourite wrestlers growing up. Road Dogg is a guy who has turned a corner in his life and seems to be on the straight and narrow now, which is wonderful, and appears to still have a lot of skill on the mic even though he didn’t get a huge opportunity to show it off that night.

You could really tell the guys were having a lot of fun. With HHH’s wise-crack about everyone’s hairline to the butt-joke skit afterwards, it was definitely a party atmosphere when they were around. And with X-Pac’s madness aside, you could see how much it meant to the New Age Outlaws to be in a WWE ring again. And damn it, it meant a lot to me too, to see them there.

The Sonic advertisement.

I hope the King was sufficiently embarrassed.

Mae Young’s Hand-son.

Genuinely, I think this was a stroke of comedic genius. And if you’re too young to remember what this is in reference to, then you’re too young for me to explain it. But don’t worry, you don’t want to know. I wish I could forget.

This almost made the therapy worth it. Almost.

Dude Love’s entrance was longer than Brodus Clay’s match

That is all.

I’m really getting tired of squash matches. 

Lita… Wow. Yay APA.

In the words of Farooq “…damn!”. Lita still has it. All of it. And I like it. Yup.

I’ve kind of made a promise to myself not to make misogynistic comments online. So I’ll stop talking about Lita except to say that it’s a shame she is no longer with the WWE as she was a good talent in the ring and could genuinely wrestle.

I got a thrill seeing the APA back on TV too. That clothesline-from-hell still looks as crazy as it always did. God damn, that always looks like it hurts.

The Punk Heel Turn.

You know, there was rumours of Cena doing it which I dismissed off the bat. When the Rock challenged “the champion” to a match at the Royal Rumble, I figured it meant Cena would win the belt that night, which did nothing as a theory but make me sad, however it seemed logical that they would set up a Cena/Rock rematch. I was also convinced that Cena would win this one because to make him the first Money In The Back winner to not became champion, ON TOP OF making Cena lose on this big show… well I’m just shocked that this all happened. So well played WWE, well played.

So if a heel turn means Punk is still the champion… I’ll take it. I look forward to see what he comes up with.

Oh and before I forget…

…I, for one, welcome our new overlord.

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